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“Don’t say that. Don’t push me away.”
I grab for her, but she slaps my arms away.
“Don’t pushyouaway? If that’s not the pot calling the kettle black. God!”
“Fine, you want to do this? Yeah, I hid my problems from everyone because I didn’t know how to talk about them. I was spinning out of control. That’s not the same as what you do.Youare the one who pushes people away. You always push me away and cut me out! You gonna tell me that’s not what you’ve been doing for the last two months? At least I stick around when you do this shit. I’m still here. I’malwayshere. Now I’m telling youI love you. I want to be with you. What are you going to do about it?”
She sniffs back tears, and I watch her fingers tremble as she wipes some off her cheeks. Part of me feels bad for yelling at her, but the other part of me knows we can’t keep going on like this. We have to get it all out if we’re ever going to move forward.
“We shouldn’t be like this.” It’s so quiet that I barely hear her say it.
“Rae…” My voice lands somewhere between terse and calm.
She sniffs again and shakes her head. Her whole body is soft and slumped in defeat. “I don’t want to do this anymore, Aaron. This isn’t how a relationship should be.” And even though she’s crying, I think we’re finally getting somewhere. Until she says, “I hate this. I’m tired of fighting. I’m tired of feeling broken. I’m tired of being around you and feeling nothing but pain.” A quiet sob rolls through her. “I can’t do this anymore.”
My heart goes to my throat at her words. “What does that mean?”
She turns to look at me as she sniffs, jaw trembling. “It means have fun in Charleston. I’m not going. I can’t be in a house with you for a week.”
My chest tightens. “What? What about the wedding? Greg and Jenny?”
“They’ll get over it.” Pain flows out of her as she meets my eyes.
“What about us?” My voice cracks as I say the words.
“There is no us, Aaron. I’m done.” It’s a punch to the gut as she looks away from me.
Tears fall from my eyes as she sits on the chest by her window, ready to climb out. She chokes back sobs, and I try to find the words to keep her from leaving. “No,” I plead. “You told me you’d never give up on us.”
“And you told me forever. I guess we both lied.”
She climbs out the window and runs across the deck while I stand there, too stunned to move.
That was not how this was supposed to go.
Chapter eighteen
The Boy Who Has Always Had My Heart
Aaron
IdropontoRae’sbed, staring at the window she just climbed out of. The gate slams shut. Her car starts and then I hear it leave the driveway.
“That went well.”
I turn to see Sarah standing in the doorway. Of course she was listening.
“How much of that did you hear?”
She shrugs. “Most of it.”
I nod, annoyed. “Great.”
“A,” she says softly, walking over to the bed and sitting down next to me. “I only listened because I had a feeling one or both of you might need to talk.”
“Well, she left if you want to chase her.”
She laughs. “We both know Rae doesn’t want to talk right now. Besides, I know where she’s going. She’ll have all the support she needs.” I look at her quizzically. “Don’t worry about it. Right now, I’m here for you.”
