AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I’m screwing everything up.” His voice has a bite to it that I’m not expecting, but I don’t think it’s directed at me. Still, it’s impossible not to bristle at his tone. And not to be frustrated. If he knows things are a mess, why isn’t he doing anything about it? Even trying? I don’t understand.
So, that’s what I say aloud.
His eyes meet mine. “I’m sorry.”
I’m getting tired of that phrase.
I remember what I told Davey once.Sorry is just a word until there’s action to back it up.
“You know, you’ve been saying that a lot lately, but it doesn’t mean anything if you don’t do something about it. I love you. I want to help you, be here for you, but you have to let me in.”
He sighs and stares at me, conflicted. He looks like he wants to finally tell me, let everything pour out of him. But then he looks like that’s the last thing he wants. He shakes his head at me.
“I’ve just got a lot going on, and I—I… I can’t figure it out like this.”
“Like what? I don’t understand. Help me understand. Aaron, I’m here for you, always.”
“That’s part of the problem,” he says. But his eyes are hazy and distant, like he doesn’t even recognize his own words.
“What is?”
He seems to snap back to reality as he says, “I’m constantly worried about you, about hurting you, about us. I hate seeing you upset. I hate making you cry.”
“I’m upset because you won’t let me in. And if you’re making me cry because of how you’re treating me, youshouldhate that.”
He exhales sharply and runs his hand through his hair, leaning his head against the couch and closing his eyes.
“I don’t know how to do this. I’m a wreck.”
“You don’t have to deal with it alone.”
“It’s not your job to fix me,” he snaps, eyes flashing open again. “And it’s not easy to figure my own shit out while I’m tethered to someone else.” He shakes his head in frustration, his voice haunted as he speaks. “God, it would’ve been so much easier if we’d just stayed friends.”
My eyes go wide. My stomach lurches. I almost double over—a physical punch to the gut would be less painful than his verbal one.
“Wha—what the hell does that mean?”
His eyes widen in surprise. “I don’t know. I don’t know how to figure out my own shit when I have to worry about someone else.”
I stare at him in disbelief. Because this sounds like a breakup.
But… it can’t be. No. Especially after last night.
Last night we—
Last night…oh my god.
Was it… goodbye?
My heart slams inside my chest as blood rushes into my ears, leaving me dizzy. Nausea crests in my stomach.
I scramble off his lap and stare at him in disbelief.Is he breaking up with me?
At that thought, it feels like my heart stops beating. I can’t breathe. No air. Nothing. Just emptiness. Hollowness. And my heart cracking into pieces.
I want to disappear.
I want to shrivel up.
