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Because I can’t do this.
I can’t survive him breaking my heart.
“Are you breaking up with me?” I ask as air fills my lungs again. My heart pounds as I stare at him, my eyes fiery and full of pain.
His eyebrows shoot up, then furrow, eyes moving rapidly. “I—no—but—”
“But?But what?”
He stands up and looks at me, tears in his eyes. “But you deserve more than this. More than me. And maybe I need—”
“What?” I shriek.
This can’t be happening.
“I don’t know—I don’t…”
A sob rolls through my chest.
“Is this it? Forever lasts not even five months? You go through something tough and that’s the end of us?”
His eyes go wide and he grabs for my arms. “No! I don’t want—”
“Don’t want what? Because it sounds like you’re trying to break up with me right now.”
I exhale shaky breaths.
“I’m not. But—”
Thebutcrushes me. There shouldn’t be one. There can’t be one. We’re together or we’re not.
I step back, as sobs take hold of my chest. “We’re supposed to do this together…”
“Rae—”
I shake my head and keep moving backward, away from his grasp. I don’t let him say anything else. Ican’tlet him say anything else.
“Please—” he starts, but I’m already halfway to the door, shaking my head as I go.
Tears start to fall as I shove my feet in my shoes and grab my bag. “No. I can’t do this. You promised me forever. And now…” Breaking inside, I turn and walk out the door. Away from the boy I love. Away from the boy who just broke my heart. Away from the boy I’m supposed to have forever with.
Hot tears pour from my eyes. In seconds, they come so quickly I can barely breathe. I can barely think, but I know I have to get out of here. I start running down the hall, headed for the stairs. Last thing I want is to be caught in an elevator with a bunch of people.
As I run down the stairs, I pray I don’t see anyone I know.
When I get to the main floor, there are a ton of people around, and it feels like all eyes are on me. It’s like one of those movie scenes where time slows down when someone is running away. The whole world seems focused on them, notices their movements, their tears. That’s how I feel. And I can’t get away fast enough.
I try to figure out where to go. If I were home, I’d go to my grandparents’ and walk the trails. I still don’t know campus that well and I don’t want to explore. I want comfort. Suddenly, I think of the perfect place. The only place, really.
I run toward the door. I need to get to my car, hopefully avoiding anyone I know along the way.
As soon as I think that, a shoulder rams into mine.
“Sorry,” the person says.
When I look up, I see it’s Kevin.
“Rae,” he says, extending out a hand. “Are you okay?”
