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I shake my head and run. Because I can’t do it.
I run across campus, find my car, and start driving. I have to get away.
Aaron
The love of my life ran away from me. And I let her go. Why did I let her go?
Did I just break her heart? Did I destroy us?
I walk over and sit down on the couch, letting my head drop into my hands.
This is everything I didn’t want.
I don’t even know exactly what I said. Something about breaking up?
No. No. No. I don’t want things to be over with us. Theycan’tbe over with us. I promised her forever. I meant it. I love her. But…fuck.
We aren’t working right now. Our relationship isn’t working. I’m in a horrible place and not treating her right. Then she pulls away. The worst in both of us is coming out.
I keep telling myself she’d end things with me if that were the case, but I know it’s not true. She might pull away, but she won’t end things. Instead, it will fester until there’s nothing left but bitterness and anger. I don’t want that. I don’t want to end things, either, but I don’t see another path forward.
My heart clenches, screaming at me that there has to be another choice. But I can’t see it if there is.
It doesn’t have to be forever. It can’t be. If we’re meant to be, we’ll make it no matter what. But fuck, how do I do this without her? How do I do this at all?
“Rae baby?” Sarah’s voice calls from the doorway. She stops, and I hear the door slowly close. Then she’s sitting down on the table in front of me. “Aaron? What’s wrong? Where’s Rae?”
I lift my head to look at her, only now realizing I’m crying. “I—I think Rae and I might be—might be… over.”
Her eyes widen in shock. I wait for her to slap me. To scream at me. To tell me to go fuck myself and then run after Rae. Instead, she shocks me by pulling me tightly into her arms. She lets me cry for a few minutes before she asks, “What happened?”
I shake my head and do my best to mutter out the story—how I’ve been messing up, all the way to her running off. The look on her face hits me again, and panic surges through me. She was crying when she left. Where is she? Son of a bitch. What did I do? What if she’s driving like that?Shit.
Going to the same place, Sarah says, “Jesus, Aaron. Have you called her?” I shake my head, so she gets up and grabs my phone off the counter, then shoves it in my hand. “Call her.”
I nod and unlock my phone, quickly dialing her number. She doesn’t answer, but she doesn’t deny my call. Neither of those things gives me any peace.
“Will you try her?”
Sarah pulls her phone out and calls her, but again, no answer.
It’s not necessarily surprising. We both know all too well how she shuts down when she’s upset. She was more than upset when she left.What happens now?
A second later, Sarah’s phone vibrates. She quickly looks at it, eyes rolling over the screen. She types something back, then shows me.
Joel: WTF is going on with Rae? Kev said he saw her crying but she ran away from him. He was going after her when he ran into me. She’s driving, we’re following her.
Sarah: Aaron and Rae had a thing. Let me know where she is and if you want me to come. Mostly just let me know she’s safe.
Joel: Will do.
Fuck. But at least Joel’s with her. I shake my head at myself. I feel so shitty right now. I hate myself for all of this. I feel like I’m breaking every promise I ever made to her.
Sighing, Sarah sits back down on the coffee table.
“Do you really want to end things with her?”
I crack my knuckles, tightening as the familiar pain in my right hand hits me. “No. But I think it’s what I need to do. For both of us.”
