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“Yeah, but I don’t want all the ups and downs. I watched what my parents and grandparents have. They started from a young age. They didn’t go back and forth. They were together, and that was it. And they’re still completely in love. I wanted that love story,” I say softly.
Miles looks into my eyes. “You wanted to have a kid at twenty? Run a farm?”
I scoff. “No.”
“Your story isn’t theirs. And your story isn’t over.”
“Easy for you to say.”
He inhales deeply. “Why do you think I never get serious with anyone?”
I smile through my tears and deadpan, “Because the vagina’s always wetter in the next girl?”
He stares at me for a moment. Then his whole body starts shaking as he doubles over with deep, guffawing laughter.
And as he does, every nearby girl on campus—and a few guys—turn and stare at him like he’s a Greek god in human form right before their eyes.
Only Miles.
He stands up straight, holding his side, and wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. “I fucking love you, Rae McKinley.”
“I love you too, buddy.”
He tosses his arm around my neck and we start walking again. “No, the real reason is because I know I’m not ready for a love like yours. Someday, I hope I have it. But I’m not there yet. And just because you and Aaron are going through a tough time right now doesn’t mean it’s going to last forever.”
“I don’t want it to last at all.”
He sighs. “That mindset will only crush you. It’s going to be hard. I know that. This will probably change things between all of us for a while. But you have a chance to focus on yourself and let yourself grow. Don’t piss that away because you’re hurting.”
I blink at him, then look down. He’s not wrong. But that doesn’t mean I like any of this. It doesn’t make it any easier. I sniff back more tears. More like snort in a really gross way. “Thanks, Miles.”
He winks at me. “I got ya, kid. Let’s get you back to the dorm to Sarah and Mackie and brownies.”
He leads me back and I try to pretend that I can keep going. That I can see a future—no matter how long or short—without Aaron. But I can’t do it. I don’t want it.
I wanted to fix us.
Instead, we’re more broken than we’ve ever been.
I lost the boy I love and my best friend in one fell swoop.
Guess Aaron got one thing right today… we should’ve stayedjust friends.
Aaron
I couldn’t go back to the dorm. Couldn’t be that close to Rae with everything happening. Couldn’t deal with Joel’s passive aggressive “support.”
I need to be where there is no judgment. Just peace, love, and good coffee.
The back door swings open with a familiar creak. The noise makes my breath hitch.
This is safety.
And then my mother appears in the kitchen, wide-eyed.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Aaron?”
