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“I have to wash up.” He lifted his arm and she hopped off the bed. She threw one of his shirts over her head and went to the washroom and bathed between her thighs with shockingly cold water.
When she crawled back into bed, he’d moved onto his side so she held him from the back, her face pressed against the hollow of his shoulder blade, her arm circling his torso, hand over his sternum. She felt his heart beating beneath her palm, strong and steady. “Are you asleep, Ford?”
He turned and cradled her in his arms, folding her head against his neck. “I may have been dozing.”
“If you stay here in London, you’ll lose your naval career. All those things you told me about being at sea, swimming in the ocean, the pride you take in your work, in keeping the ship in top shape—all of that is your freedom. I don’t want to take it away from you.”
“I painted a rosy picture of my life at sea. There are other aspects to that life. Dark, painful memories. It’s not all sparkling seas and frolicking in thesurf. I know my experience of war was mild compared to other conflicts, but sometimes I wake up gasping for air and drenched in sweat. I lost friends, too many friends, to the one battle I saw in Greece. And even the enemies . . . I still see their bodies falling into the ocean. Each one a millstone around my neck. My job was to keep our ship afloat, and I fulfilled my duties with flying colors . . . but at what cost? We lost half our crew. I’ll never be rid of those memories. I was already having doubts about going back, but I couldn’t see any other path. I can see now that I’ve been running away my whole life and what I was looking for was always around the corner, over the next horizon. But I’ve found what I was searching for.” He kissed her lips. “You.”
“We’ll find a new path together.”
He kissed the top of her head. “But first we have to find a way to save this clubhouse.”
“We will, I know we will.”
“My mother’s arriving at the coaching inn soon and I must be there to meet her, but I’ll return after that. I have to warn her that I revealed to Foxton that she secretly visits with her sister.”
“And I need to go home and confront my mother about what she did.”
“She thought she was acting in your best interests.”
“I know. And I’m prepared to face her anger.” She kissed him. “Let’s meet back here in three hours. Foxton said he’d return at noon. That will give us time to decide on a plan, on the best path to take.”
He cupped her cheek with his palm. “I don’t wantto leave you, Beatrice. Even for a few hours. There’s so much to talk about, so much to decide.”
“And what about ravishing?” she asked, with a roguish wink.
He gave her the answer to that question with a passionate kiss that left her breathless, and left little doubt about his intentions for the future.
There would definitely be more ravishing.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Beatrice found her mother propped up by pillows in her bedchamber.
“Why, Beatrice?” her mother wailed. “Why humiliate yourself, and me, in such a public fashion?” Her head dropped back against her pillows. “I can see the scandal sheets.” She painted a headline in the air. “‘The Wallflower’s Revolt.’”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Why didn’t you just tell me you didn’t want to wear the gown?”
“It was a last moment decision. I’ve been meaning to talk to you. I was only going along with your plans to soften the blow. I thought that if I failed yet again, you might let me go more easily.”
“Let you go? But Beatrice, where would you go if not into marriage?”
“I never had any intention of marrying.”
“You’ve always been difficult.”
“I’ve always been different. At the ball I embraced that difference. I celebrated it.”
“Did you have to celebrate it quite so openly? I’ve been very tolerant, Beatrice. Until now.”
“Mother, you will feel more free if you allow me my independence. You’ve been living your lifethrough mine. You’re not dead yet. You could remarry. You could build a new life.”
“What a strange thing to say to your mother when you just told me you have no intention of marrying.”
“I said I’dhadno aspirations toward matrimony. Now I have hopes and I have dreams.”
