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Irritation got the better of him. “Well, it’s not obvious. I’m going to be your husband, and yet I don’t have a bloody clue what you actually want from me. Besides providing cover for you to be with your daughter.”
“Thickhead,” she said again.
She dragged him to a nearby bench. Pushing him down onto the seat, she remained standing, crossing her arms under her breasts.
“I believe I’m in for a scold.” Royal didn’t really mind at that point. She had the most amazing breasts, especially when she plumped them up like that.
“You deserve one. You clearly think I’m heartless enough to lure you into marriage just to be with my daughter. But I assure you, Royal Kendrick, that there are far easier ways to be with Tira. Kidnapping her, for one. Then I wouldn’t have to put up with the Scottish weatheroryour utterly appalling family.”
He took her hand and smiled. “No, not heartless. Devious, maybe.”
“Don’t think you’re going to jolly me out of this. You’re the one who’s been avoidingme, not the other way around.”
He laced their fingers, feeling like ten times an idiot. “I know.”
Her expression softened. “Can you please try to tell me why?”
“Again, I’m not sure what you expect from me.”
“As my husband?”
“Yes.”
She eyed him. “Well, I expect you to have affection for me. You do still care for me, don’t you?”
He turned and kissed the inside of her wrist, just above the edge of her glove. Her skin was as soft as a kitten’s. “My feelings have not changed one iota in that regard, love.”
Her breath seemed to fracture. “I . . . I was beginning to wonder, so it’s nice to have it confirmed. But I expect you’re also wondering about what’s going to happen in . . .”
“In the bedroom,” he finished for her.
Ainsley sank down beside him, still holding his hand. “I wish I knew the answer. It’s not that I don’t want us to have a normal marriage, with . . . everything that entails. It’s just that I don’t know if I can. Or at least not right away.” She flushed, turning her head away.
But she still held on to his hand
“Ainsley, I will never ask you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable,” he said gently. “I just hope that someday you’ll trust me enough—and trust yourself—to see what we can make of this affection we have for each other. We’ll take it slowly, I promise.”
She looked sideways at him. “You’re sure?”
“I am. I just want you to be happy. I wantusto be happy.”
“I do think it would be nice for Tira to have a little brother or sister someday,” she said, turning to face him. “Once I figure out this motherhood business.”
He had to struggle with his emotions and the enticing image of making babies with her.
“You’re a wonderful mother.” He leaned in to kiss the tip of her nose. “I have no doubt you’ll make a perfectly splendid wife, and I’m honored and grateful that you chose me, lass.”
“Royal, you are the only man I ever wish to be intimate with. I might not be able to give you everything right away. But I want to, I really do. Please believe that.”
His heart churned with regret and with all that might have been. Ainsley had been hurt in the most fundamental way, and he could never fully make up for that. All he could do was love and protect her, holding fast to patience for as long as necessary. That would be the truest demonstration of his love and loyalty.
“I do believe it,” he said, “and I am more than content. As long as you need is how long we’ll wait.”
For a moment, her gaze was stark with a vulnerability that twisted his heart into knots. Then she unexpectedly scrunched her face up with comical dismay. “Confound it. I wish you weren’t so noble and understanding. It makes me feel hideously guilty. And Ihatefeeling guilty.”
He laughed. “Then I will do my best to be a selfish blighter at least once a day. More, if necessary.”
“I think you’d better. But Iamtruly sorry, my dearest sir. I’ve made life dreadfully complicated for you. Admit it.”
