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Three
Abby was surprisedto find her dad standing outside the building when she pulled up to his apartment complex. She parked and got out of the car, not bothering to pop the trunk. Somewhere in the past three months, she’d stopped bringing groceries and had started going with him to shop instead. It wasn’t the only thing that had changed betweenthem.
Her weekly visits had turned into whenever visits, and it wasn’t uncommon for her to stop by two or three times a week. There was always an excuse — a question he had about the bills he’d started paying now that he had a job, an errand he wanted her help with, another memento he’d come across in the apartment — but deep down she thought he might actually enjoy the time they spenttogether.
It was satisfying to feel a new bond growing between them, but it was sometimes unsettling too. Abby hadn’t yet broached the subject of the past. At first it had been because he was newly sober, but he’d been sober for three months now, and she knew it was about time to clear the air once and forall.
“Hey,” she said, approaching him. “What are you doing outhere?”
He’d gained a little weight, and his coloring was healthier than it had been three months earlier. His eyes were brighter and more alert, and he smelled routinely of Old Spice instead of the alcohol that used to seep from his pores, the scent of a sickness he couldn’tshake.
She still didn’t know exactly what had prompted his sobriety — only that he’d quit drinking when she fled to Mexico — but she was grateful forit.
“Thought I’d drive.” He shuffled a little on his feet, a gesture she knew meant he was either nervous or filled with unspent energy. “Give you abreak.”
She smiled. “You want to drive tolunch?”
“Thought Imight.”
He’d gotten a job the month before at a ranch twenty miles outside town. Abby had purchased a used truck to get him to and from work, but she’d never actually ridden with him since the day he’d test-drivenit.
“Sounds good. Let me get my bag,” she said. “I brought a ledger for yourbudget.”
He’d insisted on taking over his rent and other expenses — including paying her back for the truck — as soon as he’d gotten his first paycheck. At first, he’d waited to pay the bills until they came marked with a Past Due stamp, but Abby had gently explained that he was spending nearly a hundred dollars in fees that could be avoided if he paid the bills when they were due. She’d been pleasantly surprised when he’d asked her to help him come up with a budget that would keep him on track and maybe even let him save alittle.
She returned to her car and pulled her bag out of the passenger seat, then walked with her dad to the truck parked in one of the carports. It was scrupulously clean, a pine tree air freshener hanging from the rearviewmirror.
“How’s it running?” she asked him when he started itup.
“Runs just fine,” he said. “Gonna change the oil thisweekend.”
She looked over at him as they pulled out of the parking lot. “You know how to dothat?”
“Ido.”
“Maybe I’ll bring my car to you next time it’s due,” shesaid.
He glanced over at her as they came to a red light. “I’m happy to doit.”
She smiled, then turned her face to the window as tears stung her eyes. It was such a mundane conversation, a conversation any daughter might have with her father. Just a few months ago, it would have been an impossible one. Now she was torn between being grateful and feeling pathetic for her gratitude. He was her father. She shouldn’t feel grateful that he was finally acting likeone.
Somehow it didn’t matter as much as it should. She’d given up ever having closure on their relationship, let alone forging a path to a new one. She was grateful — not that he was being nice to her, but that she had this opportunity. She wouldn’t let him off the hook for what he’d done to her as a child. Not just the inappropriate touching, but the drunkenness and verbal abuse, the poverty and hunger and fear that had been a consequence of hisalcoholism.
He would have to answer for it all in order for them to really moveon.
But it seemed possible now. Possible that he might offer her an apology. That against all odds, she might be able to acceptit.
It was enough fornow.
They pulled into the little diner near the apartment that had become their go-to spot for meals. Abby grabbed her bag and they walked inside, waving at the waitress who almost always servedthem.
They settled into their favorite window booth at the back of the room. An unexpected peace settled over her as she looked at the city through the glass. It was late afternoon, and the sun had already dropped below the mountain line, casting the city in a purple-gray twilight that was nothing more than a heartbeat before it was hidden behindlights.
It felt good to be out, away from the hamster wheel that had been turning in her mind since the news broke that Jason was back. She had no idea what was going to happen, how she and Max could possibly share the city with Jason, and she’d spent the last twenty-four hours trying not to let her anxiety get the better of her, trying to stay calm as much for Max’s sake as for herown.
It all seemed far away in the dingy diner, her father sitting across from her, her city moving toward night on the other side of thewindow.
“Didn’t get enough of me thismorning?”
