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“It doesn’t, but to be honest, I wasn’t sure I wanted to go with Liam even when I thought what WFAI had to offer was freelance work here, shooting subjects for their brochures,” Ninasaid.
“Well, I’ve seen you together, so I’m guessing it’s not about how you feel abouthim.”
“No. God, no. Things with Liam are… sort of unbelievably good.” She laughed. “Which is part of why this voice in my head keeps calling me an idiot for risking what wehave.”
“What’s the risk?” Moniasked.
Nina thought about it. “That it’ll fall apart if we’re not together. That he’ll meet someone new, that I will. That we’ll realize it’s not as special as we thought itwas.”
Moni cocked her head and smiled. “Nina.”
“I know.” Nina dropped her face into her hands. “I know what you’re going tosay.”
“How do youknow?”
“Because it’s what I’d say to someone in my situation — that if it’s meant to be with Liam, it will be, that I can’t put my own opportunities on hold because I’m scared of losing Liam, that fear isn’t the basis for any healthy relationship.” She looked at Moni. “Jesus. These are the things you say to someone incollege.”
“There’s no age limit on love,” Moni said. “Or fear for thatmatter.”
“So you’re telling me to go to India with WFAI,” Ninasaid.
“I’m not telling you anything,” Moni said. “I’m just noting that when I asked about the risk, it wasn’t about missing out on the opportunity to learn from Liam or to visitIndia.”
“It was aboutfear.”
“It was about fear,” Moni repeated. “You’re the only one who can decide if that kind of thought process if going to result in a decision that’s best for you. And listen, Liam is a phenomenal guy. A one-in-a-million guy. I’ve never fully bought into the idea that it’s weak or lame for modern women to prioritize love. I know people who’ve had lucrative careers who’ve been divorced three times, but I also know people who’ve had multiple shitty jobs and one terrific thirty year marriage. We can’t make those judgment calls for eachother.”
Nina nodded. “I guess I want to have my cake and eat ittoo.”
“Who says you can’t?” Moni asked. “I didn’t get the impression that Liam’s offer was now or never. Then again, he might not have told me if itwas.”
“He said it wasn’t,” Nina said. “He made a point of telling me it wasn’t an ultimatum, that if I decided not to go to South Africa with him we would try to make itwork.”
“Well, I’m not an expert on flight patterns, but I think they have airplanes that go from India to South Africa and vice-versa. That sounds like as close to having your cake and eating it too as you can get,” Monisaid.
Nina sighed as something else came to mind. “Shit. We haven’t even talked about thegallery.”
Moni waved away the subject. “I’ll be fine. It won’t be the same without you, but I’ll manage. The gallery will be here when you get back, if it’s still what you want. We’ll call it a sabbatical.” She hesitated. “And Neen, if you come back and it’s not what you want, that’s okay too. Our friendship isn’t a prison. Whatever happens in the future, we’ll always be friends. More than that: we’ll always befamily.”
Nina swallowed the emotion that suddenly clogged her throat. “Thanks for saying that.” She shook her head. “What about my apartment? What aboutVirginia?”
“That can all be worked out,” Monisaid.
They sat in silence for a minute before Nina spoke again. “I don’t want to hurthim.”
“It’s not your job to protect Liam. Do you think he’d want you to go to South Africa because you felt bad saying no? Because you were scared to say no? Do you think that would really be doing him any kind of service?” Moni shook her head. “Your job is to do what’s best foryou."
“I just don’t know what thatis.”
“You’ll figure it out,” Monisaid.
“How can you be so sure?” Ninaasked.
Moni smiled. “Because you have a good strong heart. All you have to do is listen toit.”
