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She snorts at the term, but I continue, already having decided to lay it out.
“You do a good job, the girls love you, but something feels off. More than just Annika, I mean. I could help, you know. If you just tell me what’s going—”
Dee stands so abruptly I actually jump a bit. She looks down at me, a smile on her face that feels a bit condescending.
“Thank you for your concern. I just wanted to thank you for helping the girls earlier. Now, I have to get back out there.”
She’s out the door before I can get another word out. I watch the door, my lips twisted with failure. Then again, I suppose I did learn one thing.
Loyalty to Eternity comes before the girls.
I do my best to push everything from my mind when I head back to the floor. It takes a strong effort of will to not look over at the bar, but I imagine I can feel Killian’s eyes watching me as I make my rounds on the floor. It’s busy enough that there’s plenty to do, but my mind keeps wandering.
I’m in front of one of my usuals, a basic floor dance, when I inadvertently look toward the bar and catch Killian’s eye. I freeze for a split second, my breath taken away by the heated look in his eyes as he watches me. He’s making no effort to hide it, frozen and watching me.
The corner of my lip turns up and I lick my lips, the motions of my body immediately changing. There’s a type of sultry and seduction I learned years ago, something I’ve since perfected. It’s not cockiness, just the truth. But for Killian, it’s more.
The way he makes my body respond, even without touching me, is beyond words.
Despite the fact I’m dancing for someone else, half a room away, for that moment, it feels like it’s just us. I close my eyes and let the music overwhelm me, my hands roaming up my body as I imagine them to be his.
I can feel his breath on my skin, his heavy heartbeat pounding against my own.
This dance is for him, despite the dozen other eyes watching me.
When the song finally stops, I open my eyes and the client in front of me is watching me with his jaw dropped and tented pants. I notice several others stopped watching me, equally reverent looks on their faces.
“Wow,” the man says, leaning forward to place several bills into the small string of my top, double what the usual cost of a dance is. “That was incredible, honey. Don’t be a stranger.”
I give a small smile and flush lightly, thanking him. It isn’t until I turn that I dare to look up to the bar. His eyes are still on me, though he’s pouring drinks again. I can’t help the smile from forming on my face and have to look down to hide it.
Unable to keep away, I make my way up to the bar and come around the side, waiting until Killian comes over. Eyes are watching us and I have to force myself not to touch him. I see his clenched fists, as though he’s having the same difficulty.
He leans forward to get closer to my ear as he passes me a bottle of water.
“That was incredible, but I might have to punish your sweet ass for that later.”
My eyebrows rise and I feel my clit twitch at the threat.
“Excuse me?” I say with mock anger. “I am merely doing my job.”
He smirks, leaning forward once more.
“I know what your job is, and I also knowthatshow was for me,” he pulls back, looking at me levelly and raising one brow, “And for giving others a show that was meant for me, ass whipping.”
His tone is light despite the threat, but I see the real warning in his eyes, the jealousy he’s cleverly masking. The understanding hits. How much he’s truly trying to let go.
I have no idea what life outside of this world of poles and dancing is really like. I spent my youth as an escort and con-woman. I made my living, my life, around my body and my ability to manipulate men.
I love sex and have never been ashamed of that or of my body. I never cared what men thought or how they felt, only that they could give me pleasure, in one way or another.
Other than the last decade, that is, half of which was spent curled in a ball of self-pity, the other half throwing myself into training and bettering myself.
Hardly a normal white or blue collar lifestyle, any more than my old life as Jericho was.
Coming back to the world of poles and sex was comfortable in many ways, but part of me wonders if it was really nothing more than cowardice that brought me back to the only lifestyle I’ve ever known.
Killian, the idea of him, offers something I’ve never had. Hell, something I’ve never wanted. Some kind of normalcy and security. Things I’ve certainly never experienced.
