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Hef was so eager to meet his catfish so we used the opportunity, setting up a time and place. Benny dropped an anonymous tip to someone in the Spades crew that Hef was going to be on their turf.
Needless to say, he never made it back to HQ. But from Gid’s annoyed face when I saw him, I can only imagine that the Spades caught him. And if I was lucky, I hoped they fucking tortured the asshole for what he did.
I wanted to do it myself, but it would draw to much suspicion. And I knew the Spades wouldn’t hesitate to take him out. Especially knowing he was there with Blair and Quinn that day. Blair would want to see him suffer. One day, when the dust settled, hopefully I’d find out the details.
I had to head into Woodlands for exam prep, my nerves on edge. I wanted to do my best to avoid Blair, because I knew she’d have questions about my absence. I missed her so much, but I couldn’t even look at her right now. When she found out the truth, I'd probably be staring down the barrel of a gun. Would she let the Spades kill me? Maybe. And truthfully, I wouldn’t care. I’d happily welcome it and go join my girl, just as long as I had got my revenge before then.
I was walking down the hallway after my class, about to sneak out when someone collided into me.
“Oofph,” I said, stumbling back. I looked down to find Blair picking up her bag. Of course fate would do this to me, the sick bastard.
“Levi! I’ve missed you so much. Why haven’t you returned any of my calls or messages?” she yelped, pulling me in for a rough hug.
I gave her the best smile I could muster, trying to act normal. “Sorry, Blair. Things have been super hectic. I’ve missed you too.”
She looked at me suspiciously, her eyes focusing on my face as if trying to read me.
“It’s been a tough time for everyone. You know I’m here for you, right?” she asked.
I nodded, my face breaking a little. “I know. I’m happy to see the Spades are taking care of you. You look good.”
Blair’s mouth dropped, her expression one of confusion. “Levi, I’m really worried about you. What’s going on?”
I swallowed hard, noticing the hall filling with students. I had to get out of here before anyone else tried to stop me. I had missed practices and classes, my absence noticeable.
“Nothing. I’m just really busy, that’s all,” I said quickly. “But we’ll catch up soon.”
I declined her offer to hang, my heart sinking as she looked at me with a devastated look. She was hurting… she was missing her best friend and now I was leaving her too. I could tell she felt my change in demeanor, and it killed me that I was the cause of her pain right now. But it was for the best. I had to push her away to save her.
I took off before she could try to talk any more, tears forming in my eyes which I pushed back.
I’d make it up to her one day. I fucking promised it.
I did my best to avoid Blair during exams, only going to the exam hall last minute. The rest of my time was spent with Benny, going over countless pieces of information.
The Hunters had attacked the Spades fighting ring, but it still felt like more was coming. I couldn’t explain the feeling, but I knew there was no way this was the end of their revenge. Harmon wanted end game and Lucas wanted blood.
Walking into the motel room after my last exam, I punched the wall, my fist smashing the plasterboard.
“Whoa, what’s up, bro?” Benny asked from the corner, his ipad on his lap.
“Exams are done,” I snapped, my body shaking.
Benny raised an eyebrow in confusion, not at all fazed by my aggression. “That’s good though, right?”
I shook my head. “Quinn and I had plans for today. We were going to celebrate it.”
“Oh,” Benny answered softly.
Over the past few weeks, I had opened up to him, telling him about our relationship, about how much I loved her. A few times I had cried, and there was no judgment. My father would have thrown a tantrum if he’d seen me cry.
“Men don’t cry. That’s weakness,”he used to say, even when I was a child. As a kid, he’d beat the shit out of me if I cried or got upset. I was forced to hide my emotion and if I couldn’t, he’d torture me or lock me in the basement until I was broken and numb.
Now, I felt like I was back there again. Broken and numb.
The days and weeks passed so quickly since her death, that it felt like someone else was controlling my body. I was just a mindless vessel, focusing on a goal. But I felt nothing. I swallowed the bitter pain when I could, letting myself thrive in the feeling of inhumanity.
At least this way I could do what I needed to do. Otherwise, I’d be a dysfunctional mess.
