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Chapter 37
Jack
I’m sitting here likean absolute idiot, surrounded by tropical plants and giant lily pads, running over everything in my mind. Over and over and over. I wait on a bench in the previously agreed upon location. Well, not so muchagreed uponas I was told by Leyna exactly when and where to sit.
I keep looking at the clock on my phone, impervious to the beautiful greenery that surrounds me inside one of the conservatories at the university’s Botanic Gardens. She’s late. Ten minutes now. Is it like Leyna to be late? I realise I don’t actually know. She was always on time for the art classes, whether at the university or at my place. Doubt starts to creep in and I wonder if she’s changed her mind. Maybe she thought this was a step too far. We’re still on campus, after all, and if anyone happened upon us, they would know immediately it wasn’t simply a random chat over coffee.
I convince myself she isn’t coming when I finally see her walk through the doors that lead into the glass-topped building. Only she doesn’t look how I expect her to. Immediately I know something is off. She looks upset. She is red-faced and scowling, and although she tries to smile when she sees me, it never reaches her eyes.
‘Everything okay?’
‘I’m so sorry. I know I’m really late. I’ve had a crazy morning...’ Leyna takes a seat beside me on the bench, opens up a bottle of Oasis fruit juice, takes a long drink, and then sighs. ‘I really needed this today. You sure you’re okay with this?’ She seems distracted, her expressions, normally easy to read, seem frantic and erratic, like jacked up butterflies flitting from one flower to the next.
We sit on the benches in front of the fishpond inside the glasshouse at the Botanic Gardens. It’s warm and slightly humid. The temperature is carefully regulated for the plants and animals living here. A mixture of red, orange, and white fish swim lazily around the pond and Leyna wrings her hands in her lap as we listen to their soft, gentle splashes.
I feel like the gentlemanly thing to do would be to offer her an out—if she’s changed her mind, she needs to know she can leave, and it will be fine. ‘We don’t have to be here if you don’t want to,’ I say. ‘We could go somewhere else. Or we don’t have to meet through the day at all if that makes you uncomfortable.’ I’m rambling because I don’t understand what she’s trying to say. She’s the one who told me, commanded me, to meet her here.
‘Jack, it’s not that. You know I want to be with you.’
‘I just meant that you know what this place is like,’ I say, referring to the university at large. ‘There are snakes around every corner.’ I point to a glass case across the room. ‘Look.’ A snake is curled up around a flat rock in one of the exhibits against the far wall.
The corner of her mouth tweaks but her eyes are impassive. ‘You have no idea... You’re not...’ she hesitates, ‘embarrassed to be with me, are you?’
‘What?!’ I sit back in shock. Is that what she’s been thinking? That I’m embarrassed of her? That this was why I’d been cautious all this time? I’d really made a mess of things if that was what she thought. ‘Leyna... I would never think that. Initially, I thought a relationship with a colleague in the department was just a bad idea. But then I worried that somehow, you’d get blowback for it. I’ve seen how they speak to you in there. It’s not exactly the most supportive work environment.’
Her eyes are hooded, like she’s holding something back from me.
I grab her hands, holding them between us. ‘I don’t want anyone to have anything to hold against you, not a scrap.’
‘And what would they joke about? That we like each other? That we want to be together?’
I exhale. She’s right and she knows it. There’s no rational explanation for any of this anymore. All of my fears, that she might get hurt in some way, now feel foolish and unreasonable. ‘Leyna you’re right. I don’t want to hide anymore. I want to be with you. I want my friends to meet you. I want to shout it from the rooftops and tell these fish and the tropical plants, that I want nothing more than to be with you. I know we’d said this was going to be a strictly no-touch rendezvous, but I think you could use a hug, Flower.’
There’s no one about and Leyna says nothing for a minute. She just looks at me then she slowly climbs into my lap and we just cuddle, warm and connected, her face snuggled into the curve of my neck.
We have our little botanic liaison, talking as couples do, faces inches apart, half whispering, giggling here and there, my arm wrapped protectively around her waist. Even sat on my lap, Leyna only just comes face-to-face with me and we enjoy the intimacy of it all. Just the two of us.
‘Jack?’ Gerik and Dom are eyeing us with amusement, their eyes twinkling and completely failing to hold back these enormous, goofy smiles.
And just like that, we’re snapped back to reality. Leyna scrambles off my lap. I grab her hand, maintaining some sort of connection between us. After everything we just talked about, she needs to know that I want to be with her. She catches my eye, understanding the subtleties of that simple gesture. Leyna smooths out her skirt and makes sure every hair is in place. She looks both sheepish and defiant which, I was beginning to understand, was a typical Leyna expression. Meanwhile, I can’t believe, of all the people roaming around the university, that Gerik and Dom have managed to find and interrupt my lunch date.
‘Hi guys. You alright? Gerik, Dom, this is Leyna.’
‘Nice to meet you,’ Dom says with a faint Italian accent, grinning like an idiot.
Gerik, always the sensible one, realises they’ve both interrupted something. ‘We were just out for a scholarly lunchtime walk around the grounds but—’
I can’t help myself and burst out laughing. ‘As opposed to a non-scholarly lunchtime walk?’
‘Itisscholarly, in fact,’ Dom interjects. ‘Because I’ve just found out I’m through to the next round on a funding application.’
‘Good on you, mate. Congrats.’
‘We spotted you here and just wanted say hello, but we’ll be on our way now,’ Gerik says as he drags Dom along with him. Leyna smiles and gives them both a little wave. I can see Dom quietly protesting and I can just imagine Gerik explaining how they ought to give us privacy and Dom retorting that it’s completely natural to make out in public, and on and on, and that it is us Brits, in fact, who are repressed and hide our emotions in an unnatural way. As they leave, I can see Dom mouthing the words, Way out of your league, and I chuckle, shaking my head. I suppose the cat was out of the bag now!
I look back at Leyna. ‘Was that awkward?’ I ask her.
‘Jack, you know full well I have a very high tolerance for awkwardness. It was fine. It was nice to meet some of your friends. Even if it was under such odd circumstances.’ She giggles. ‘That was the same Dom you were telling me about, right? The one who does sciency stuff?’
