Page 60 of Blinded By Loyalty


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He raised his head and leveled his eyes on me. “Nothing really to say.” He checked the time on his phone again. It’d only been a half hour or so since he got up to take a shower.

“When will you be back?”

He exhaled a labored breath. “Not sure.” He was back to hardly talking, back to being a grunting oaf.

I fought the tears banging on the door behind my eyes. If he was leaving me for whatever reason, I wouldn’t give him the pleasure of seeing me broken. None of this made any sense. He loved me.

“So you’re just leaving with no idea if or when you’ll return?”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm. Okay. This is bullshit. You’re a giant asshole for not telling me what’s really going on. But, okay. We’ll play this your way, Axel Pérez. Leave. Go do your job or whatever the fuck you’ll be doing. Maybe I’ll see you again. Maybe I won’t.” I started to remove the bracelet he gave me. Suddenly his body slammed into mine and pinned me against the wall.

“Don’t take it off. Don’t you ever take it off.” He pressed his forehead to mine with so much force, I was sure the back of my head would go through the wall. His hand covered my throat lightly. “Don’t take it off.”

“Why are you doing this to me?” I choked out as I gasped for air. Not because his hand was crushing my windpipe; it wasn’t. But I was out of my mind with fear of losing him.

“I have a job to do. That’s all you need to know.” He reared his head back and removed his hand from my neck.

I cupped his face before he stepped away. “Please. Talk to me. You’re not making any sense. Is this job dangerous? Are you afraid you’ll get hurt?”

“I need to go.”

“No! Don’t you leave me like this!” I held his face tightly. “I love you with all my heart. Don’t leave me in the dark. Don’t make me think you don’t love me, that what we shared the last couple of weeks was only my imagination.” My chest rattled with emotion. “God…” I couldn’t get the words out as my body trembled and tears blurred my vision. “Please… don’t… destroy me.” I stuttered and sniffled. I tried to steel myself but I was losing the fight as I stared at his tormented face.

“There is no beginning or end. My love is eternal. Don’t take the bracelet off. Ever.” He crushed his mouth to mine, but it wasn’t filled with hunger or passion.

Axel’s kiss was heartbreaking. Intentional. Slow.

The langued strokes of his tongue were shredding my heart as it curled with mine, killing me softly. The man I loved with every cell in my body was destroying me with his touch, crushing my soul with his lips.

And I knew. Felt it down to the marrow of my bones.

This was good-bye.

Forever.

24 Axel

I COULDN’T STOP tasting her sweet lips, feeling her velvet tongue curl with mine. I hated myself for what I was doing to her. But tonight, when those Russian bastards collected their money, I wouldn’t feel anything anymore. I’d be dust.

Her salty tears were the last straw. I couldn’t prolong the inevitable, hurt her more than I already was doing.

I released her lips, getting one final feel of her soft cheek with my thumb and one last look into her devastated brown orbs. I fucking did this to her and I hated myself.

She shook her head, lip trembling.

“Don’t take it off.” I lifted her hand and kissed the bracelet. “Not even when you fall in love again.”

Her legs gave way and she crumbled to the floor, her wracking sobs vibrating through my limbs. I couldn’t do a goddamn thing to ease her pain. To lessen her devastation.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, kissing the top of her head. “I’m so fucking sorry, baby. I love you.” I pulled myself away from her, grabbed my duffle bag, and ran out of the room.

“Axel! Don’t… Don’t do this.” Her heart-wrenching sobs followed me out of the loft until I slammed the door shut.

Darwin’s eyes flashed with worry. “What happened? Is Miss St. James crying?”

“Check on her in fifteen minutes. Unless you hear her quiet before then. I need to go.”

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