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‘It’s fine.’ He checks his rear-view mirror and we leave the lay-by, heading on into the village. ‘She’s still in bed. We’ve got plenty of time to talk.’
‘If you’re sure?’ I don’t want Lois to be cross with him because of me.
‘I’m sure,’ he says firmly, glancing over. ‘You’re upset. I’m not leaving you until you’re feeling better about things.’
Ironically, it’s those caring words of his that finally make the tears spill over.
*****
When we enter the Swan Hotel, it’s like I’ve walked into a peaceful oasis designed to soothe the soul– it’s so far removed from the emotional chaos at home.
Rory enquires about coffee at reception, and the woman smiles and says of course; she’ll bring it over. So we choose a sofa tucked away in a corner, and I sink down with a sigh.
‘I’m at my wits’ end, Rory. I just don’t know what to do,’ I start. ‘Never in a million years did I think I’d be considering such drastic action to protect Bertie.’
‘It doesn’t help that mother and daughter are at loggerheads.’
I groan. ‘Tell me about it.’
‘I can see why Irene’s taken to drowning her sorrows in vodka– keeping a secret like that all these years must have been really tough on her. And now that the truth has come out and rocked both their worlds, things must seem even more impossible.’
I nod ruefully. ‘I still haven’t managed to get Irene to talk to me. I mean, there must have been a reason she went down that path... being an escort. No one wouldchoosethat as a career. Would they?’ I shrug. ‘But I don’t know. Maybe they would. Just becauseIwouldn’t want to do it, doesn’t mean it’s not a perfectly logical option for some people, I suppose.’
‘True.’
‘But finding herself pregnant and alone must have been so scary. She was only seventeen. Still a child, really.’
He nods. ‘The stalemate between them can’t go on. Maybe you could give it one more try... to make Irene understand you’re serious about the kinship order. And I’ll talk to Lois. Try to persuade her she needs to have a proper talk with Irene.’
I smile wearily. ‘And then we’ll all live happily ever after?’
‘Maybe.’ He gives a helpless shrug. ‘Feel free to stop me if I’m talking complete bollocks.’
Our eyes meet and in spite of everything, we laugh.
‘Life’s shit sometimes, isn’t it?’ he murmurs after a while, staring into the distance.
‘It sure is. And on top of everything else, Gran’s going into hospital next month.’
‘For her operation.’ He nods thoughtfully. ‘It’ll hopefully give Paula a new lease of life.’
‘I hope so. But there’s always that tiny element of doubt. What if something goes wrong?’
‘You can’t think like that,’ he says firmly. ‘She’s a determined woman. If anyone can breeze through and emerge stronger, it’s Paula. Plus, she’s got the most amazing, caring person by her side to see her through it.’ His smile is from the heart, his dark eyes blazing into mine.
I shake my head, about to contradict him. ‘I only do what anyone–’
‘Not anyone.’ The smile slips and he studies my face, an intense look in his eyes. ‘You know, I think I always had an inkling that you were special– even back then, at school– but you’ve never shone more brightly than you do now. You dazzle me, Clara, with your kindness and your resilience and your modesty. Honestly, you do.’
Emotion swirls in my chest. I should say something in reply, but I don’t trust myself to speak.
In silence, we gaze at each other. I know I should look away but there’s a beguiling wistfulness in Rory’s eyes that seems to be holding me captive. My heart is pounding so loudly in my ears, I feel sure he must be able to hear it...
The receptionist appears, carrying our tray of coffee.
Rory breaks the spell with a laugh. ‘Sorry, I’m not usually this sentimental. It’s obviously a bit too early in the morning for me.’
And then our coffee is being placed in front of us and I manage to rally myself for a jolly exchange with the chatty receptionist about how Christmas will be here before we know it.
