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I can tell that by her loud shriek of disbelief, and the way her hands fly to her cheeks as she mimes an excited scream.
‘You’re going topropose?’ A sick feeling is swirling around inside me. ‘Are you serious?’
‘Yes. Why not? People have whirlwind romances all the time, don’t they?’
‘Yes, but...’ I swallow down the nausea. ‘It’s a bit soon, isn’t it?’
‘We’ve known each other since July. That’s three months.’
‘But you’ve only been going out a few weeks.’
She sighs. ‘Iknewyou’d be like this, Clara. I should never have told you. I might have known you’d spoil it by being all sensible and disapproving.’
‘No.’ I shake my head, struggling for the right words. ‘I’m honestly not... being disapproving. I’m just a bit– um– surprised, that’s all.’
She makes a noise in her throat. ‘I’m a bit surprised myself, to be honest.’ She leans against the worktop, twirling a lock of blonde hair around her finger. ‘I swore I’d never, ever get married– not after the humiliation of being dumped, practically at the altar. But Rory’s so different to Ronnie.’
I turn away to fill the kettle, picturing Rory’s face, and a swell of emotion threatens to overwhelm me.Dark eyes twinkling as that heart-stopping smile of his shines my way...
‘Yes,’ I whisper to the kettle. ‘Rory’s lovely.’
‘He’s a keeper.’
I nod, stuck for words.
‘So why should I wait? You always hear about people feeling that sudden thunderbolt and getting married within months of meeting each other, and then forty years later, they’re still together and blissfully happy. Well, that could be Rory and me. It all happened so fast. We saw each other and that was that.’
I take a shaky breath and turn. ‘I’m really pleased for you, Lois. Honestly, I am. You deserve so much happiness after what you’ve been through. But... what about Rory? Aren’t you worried you might scare him off if you propose right now, so early in your relationship?’
She sinks down on a chair with a superior smile. ‘Look, Clara, I realise you’ve known Rory since school but that doesn’t make you an expert on him.’ She shrugs. ‘I happen to know him inside out and he loves me. He told me yesterday that he’s never felt like this about a girl before. He said I’ve bewitched him, totally and utterly. And if he feels that strongly about me, whywouldn’the want to spend the rest of his life with me?’
Her words twist the knife a little more.
It really is serious between them, then.
Since I’ve been seeing Shaun, I’ve been congratulating myself on moving on from Rory at last. Shaun’s lovely, he makes me laugh, and he never leaves me in any doubt that he wants to be with me. I’ve been telling myself that the heaviness that’s been dragging at my heart ever since Lois and Rory got together will eventually lift, now that I’m with Shaun, and then I’ll be free of Rory for good.
But Lois’s announcement has been a harsh reality check, sending me sinking right back into the sheer misery that is unrequited love.
I’m not over Rory.
How could I ever have thought it would be that easy?
It’s amazing how you can fool yourself into believing something, just so you can get through the day and not break into a hundred pieces. I suppose deep down, I’ve been clinging to the idea that maybe it was just a fling for Rory and Lois, and that they’d eventually realise they weren’t right for each other. But it’s clear I’ve been living in a fool’s paradise and I hate myself for being so delusional.
The trouble is, I’ve been dreaming about Rory Angel for so long, I don’t know how I’m going to stop. But I have to.Especially if he’s going to be my brother-in-law.
The urge to escape to my room is very strong but I can’t do that. Not yet. It might look a touch suspicious if I run from the room in floods of tears! So I paste on a smile. ‘Well, maybe youshouldask him, then.’
Lois laughs. ‘Hell, you don’t need to sound so enthusiastic about it. Honestly, Clara, I was hoping you’d be excited for me.’
‘Iamexcited for you. I think it’s lovely that you’ve found each other and I hope it all works out for you both. I was only saying maybe give it a little bit more time? To make absolutely sure? It’s still such early days. Why rush things?’
She stretches her arms above her head, linking her fingers. ‘Oh, bugger to that, Miss Sensible. If you know, youknow. Don’t you think? What’s the point of pussyfooting around, if your feelings are that strong?’ She drops her arms and narrows her eyes at me. ‘Whoa! Hang on a minute. You’re notjealous, are you? Isthatwhat this is all about?’
‘What?No!’ I stare at her in horror, feeling warmth creeping into my cheeks. ‘OfcourseI’m not jealous. Why on earth would you think that?’
‘Oh, you are.’ She gazes at me in genuine sympathy. ‘Oh, poor Clara.’
