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‘But I’mnot.’ Panic is rising up inside me. I’ve given myself away somehow. I guess if you really care about someone, it’s pretty much impossible to pretend otherwise. Feelings make themselves known in a soft word or a smile or a blush.
But this is a nightmare.
Lois is bound to tell Rory that I’ve got feelings for him and then they’ll both feel sorry for me. And how on earth will I face Rory when he finds out? It’s hard enough trying to be ‘normal’ with him as it is, when he’s round at the house all the time these days, stealing kisses from Lois while I try my best not to look.
‘Hey, don’t look so horrified,’ says Lois. ‘I promise I won’t tell anyone.’
‘You won’t?’ I eye her doubtfully, my heart still racing.
Lois is always honest. Brutally so, sometimes. But can I really trust she means that? What if Shaun finds out I have feelings for Rory? He’d be so hurt and I couldn’t bear that. And what if the temptation to tell Rory proves impossible for Lois to resist?Hey, guess what?Poor old Clara is in love with you! I know, imagine that!
‘Look, I don’t blame you for envying the fact that I’ve found real love.’ Lois reaches over and pats my hand. ‘I expect loads of people are jealous of me right now. But you never know, Clara, one day this might be you, falling madly in love with someone and wanting to get down on one knee and do the whole proposal thing. I mean, Shaun seems nice and all, but he’s not exactly the type to set the grass on fire.’ She winks. ‘If you know what I mean.’
I stare at her, too confused to find the words to stick up for Shaun.
So she isn’t saying she’s guessed I have feelings for Rory?
She just means I’m jealous because she’s found the man for her, and I haven’t...
Relief has started flooding through me like the extra-long rinse cycle on a washing machine. My legs feel like jelly.
But my secret is safe!
Reaching for a nearby chair, I sit down before I fall down.
CHAPTER THREE
‘So, listen, when are you going to propose?’ I ask Lois later, trying to sound casual as if I’ve only just remembered our earlier conversation andhaven’tbeen thinking about nothing else since. (I actually forgot to put the pasta sheets in the lasagne I’m making for dinner. That’s how distracted I’ve been ever since Lois dropped her proposal bombshell.)
She dumps three dirty mugs in the sink and turns with a glowing smile. ‘Well. I’ve just arranged it all. Have you heard of The Larder at the Chesterbury Manor Hotel?’
‘Er, yes. That’s the restaurant with a zillion Michelin stars, where they don’t put prices on the menu in case you collapse with shock?’
She nods. ‘That’s the one. Ronnie took me there on my birthday, remember?’
‘I do. You drank champagne that cost more than a Chanel handbag, if I recall.’
‘It was a Birkin.’
‘What?’
‘He bought me the Birkin bag for my birthday.’ She snorts. ‘Of course that was early in the relationship when he actually wanted to impress me.’
‘Chanel. Birkin. Whatever. The champagne was very expensive.’ I shrug nonchalantly, while mentally bracing myself for more details of the intended proposal. (The tea towel is nearby, should I feel the need to clamp my teeth on something.)
‘So, anyway, I phoned The Larder, thinking I’d never get a table for Friday. But guess what? They had a cancellation so we’re in! By the way, Friday is special because it’s also–’
‘Rory’s birthday, yes. Libra.’
She frowns. ‘How the hell did you know that?’
I swallow. ‘Oh... he must have mentioned it,’ I say hurriedly. ‘When we were working on Gran’s garden.’
‘But that was ages ago.’
‘Ah, well, I– um– always remember people’s star signs.’
‘Right. Well, anyway, it’s happening on Friday. And I might even book a room at the hotel so we can celebrate in style afterwards.’ She grins. ‘If you know what I mean.’
