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"Dinner!"Mom called.
Her shouting shook me from a dream. Immediately, my stomach grumbled, revealing that the Chinese buffet had worn off. As much as I didn't want to face or communicate with my mom, I needed to eat something not filled with additives.
In my head, I knew it was essentially my mom's constant obsessiveness with my health that had me worrying, but I guess the deep conditioning I'd received over the years was hard to break.
After using the bathroom, I washed my hands and face. Crept down the stairs and walked softly into the kitchen. Part cringing at the thought of another heated showdown.
"Hey," I said when I saw my mom. She'd changed into sweats and had her hair pulled out of her face.
"Hi," she replied. "How was your nap?"
"Good." I blew out a breath. "I'm sorry about earlier." I wasn't sure I meant it one hundred percent, but I was willing to lie if it would alleviate the tension between us.
Sighing, she put down her knife and fork. "I don't want to battle you, Lux. I know you are grown now. I'm not a complete idiot. I see the beautiful and incredible woman you've become. And you should get to have fun. But I will also never not see the little girl who had to fight and struggle for years just to exist. I will never not worry that something will happen that will take you away from me." She blinked rapidly, fighting to keep her emotions in check.
My eyes stung with unshed tears. Slowly, I went to where she was hunched over the counter and wrapped my arms around her. Dinner rested in front of her—a healthy portion of chicken, steamed veggies, and brown rice.
"I know, Mom, I know. But I have to live. You have to live," I said, squeezing her to me before letting go and searching her face. "We both need to get a life." I begged her with my eyes to understand.
TEN
Set Up A Date
LUX
Her jaw clenched,but she nodded. A tear rolled down her cheek, splattering onto her top.
"Dinner looks nice," I said, hoping to change the subject.
"Chicken and tarragon with your favorite rice and mixed vegetables."
"Want me to get you some?" she asked, moving to get up.
"I'll do it." I scooped the appropriate amounts onto my plate then took a spot beside her.
We ate in silence for a few minutes until she pushed her unfinished plate away. "Tell me about lunch and your drink," she said, working to put a smile on her face.
All I saw was the underlying disappointment. Was it because I ate out with a guy or had alcohol? Probably both.
"I had Chinese food," I said and waited for the onslaught of negativity.
"I guess that tasted good after brown rice and steamed vegetables." She worked to make her smile bigger, but it didn't happen.
Still, I gave her props for trying to be nice about my afternoon.
"And maybe a little bit of Thai, too," I added.
"So a buffet then?" She took a sip of her lemon water.
"A nice one," I said. "But I promise I took it easy." I paused and waited for her to fly off the handle. When she didn't, I continued, "There was this battered shrimp that was so delicious."
Fondly I thought back over the explosions of taste. The sweet and spicy hitting my tongue with every mouthful. Quickly those thoughts changed to Rush. He was the biggest reason lunch was so much fun. The man was all-consuming in his presence. Even now, with the space and time gone between lunch and dinner, I could still feel the tingle that had spread through me at being close to him. And when he held my hand. And caressed my wrist. A rush of happiness slicked along my skin.
Mom nodded. Picked up her plate and went to the sink. "And the drink, what was it?"
A tremor of worry filled my belly. "Pina Colada," I admitted, knowing all the sugar was beyond wrong.
She nodded, keeping up the smile.
