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I thought her face might break.
"That must've been wonderful. Truly wonderful, Lux." Her features became serious. "But you know you can't have those things again. It's not safe. What if something you ate had been bad? What if you'd picked up a germ from somewhere, just in passing, and it attacked your system? We can't take risks like that, Lux. I know it hurts, but we just can't, especially now."
I swallowed the need to snap at her. But I knew she would never let me do what I wanted. It didn't matter, though. I was done surviving. I wanted to do all the things I'd been saving. "I know you're worried, and I get where it's coming from. I do," I began, cutting into the chicken and putting the bite in my mouth.
It gave me a chance to calm my emotions and think. Because words likecan'tandbadsucked all the air out of me. Left me feeling dry like a fucking desert. I didn't want it to be like that. Hell, I didn't want me tobelike that. Living a life in fear and never experiencing anything because of whatmighthappen. I refused to live that way another second.
"And this guy? What do you know about him? The world is filled with murdering lunatics. What if he'd kidnapped you?" She visibly shuddered.
"Mom, I need you to hear me," I said, keeping my voice calm but full of steel. "I'm not going to say I'll never have a drink or eat that food again because I don't want to lie to you. I love you, and you mean too much to me to do that."
"Lux," she started.
I held up a hand. "If Rush, I mean, Jensen asks me out again, I'll go. I like him, and I've never been able to say that before."
She threw her hands up in frustration. "Don't be ridiculous. You cannot eat those foods. You cannot drink alcohol. Are you seriously going to fight me with over a man you just met?" She flipped on the water at the sink and rinsed her plate. When she finished, she slammed off the tap and turned back. "You probably won't ever hear from him again. Did you even tell him why you were at the hospital? If you did and he still let you drink, then he's an arrogant fool and doesn't deserve to spend time with you."
I debated how to respond but decided I wouldn't let her rile me up. I was going to stay calm and talk to her like an adult. "It's my life, Mom. My decisions. I wanted to sit with you tonight, and I don't want us to argue, but you need to stop this. Please," I added, hoping she would understand.
"It's my life too, and I won't ever stop doing everything in myfuckingpower to keep you alive," she shouted, breathing heavily.
I blinked like she'd slapped me. She'd never cursed around me before either. "Then I guess we're at war, Mom." I set down my fork and pushed the plate away. "Know this, though. It's you who are killing me. Suffocating the life right out of my lungs."
I stood, knocking over the barstool. Didn't bother to pick it up and went left the kitchen, heading up to my room.
"Fine," she shouted after me.
"Fine," I said quietly and closed the door.
Immediately, I went to my bag and pulled out my phone. I'd take my destiny into my own hands. No law said I had to wait for him to call me.
At that moment, my phone lit up, and so did my heart. There was a text from Rush. I clicked on it.
RUSH: Hey, it's Rush.
ELEVEN
Motorcycle Monster
LUX
I giggleda little under my breath. Not the most original opening line, but then I wouldn't have come up with anything better.
With a wide grin, I typed back:
LUX: Hey, it's Lux.
I held my breath for a long moment and waited for him to answer. Fell back on my bed and studied the screen like I could command him to respond. Another minute passed. I felt like an idiot for lying there just staring and waiting.
"Get ready for bed," I told myself and got up. At the medicine cabinet over the sink in my bathroom, I counted out my vitamins and set them on the nightstand. Washed my face. Scrubbed my teeth. Put on my boy shorts and a tank. My mom didn't like to run the air conditioning in the summers because she wasn't sure the air was clean. What was worse? She didn't like the windows open at night just in case the plague stole in and infected me with its bulbous nastiness.
I went back and forth as I did my chores, going over my wants and Mom's needs and what I needed. Not only that, but I tried to tell myself it didn't matter if Rush texted me back. I'd be fine. I was still a warrior woman on the path to living life the way I wanted.
Deep down, it did matter. Like, a lot. I wanted to talk to him. Bad. A part of me worried about why he was interested in me. Surely, there were much cuter and less complicated women he could date. But then, he didn't know about my problematic life, and I wanted to keep it that way.
Finally, my phone pinged. I let out a yelp of joy and then covered my mouth, hoping Mom didn't hear.
RUSH: Straight to the point, but dinner tomorrow? With me?
