Page 23 of Loving Rush


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RUSH: Sometimes. Do you?

LUX: I haven't been to a theater in ages, but my all-time favorite movie is probably Steel Magnolias, followed closely by The Holiday and then The Notebook.

The three dots came back, and I waited, thinking I'd shared too much, and he would think I was sappy or something.

RUSH: I haven't seen those. I'll have to check them out.

Did I tell him they might be too full of feelings? I decided not to.

LUX: I'm interested in knowing what you think.

I sent him my address. We said goodnight, and I climbed under the covers. There wasn't a damn chance I was going to sleep. In fact, all I could do was think about Rush and me. His soft and kissable lips on mine. What would it feel like to be with him like that? And more? Even though I barely knew him, I wanted to be with him in every way.

Was it normal that I was head over heels for a guy I barely knew? Probably not, but I couldn't help myself. Besides, if my cancer was truly back, I only had so much time, and I wanted to experience everything. A pang of guilt touched my heart. Was that fair to Rush?

It wasn't. I should tell him about me. Share my truth and see if he wanted to stick around. Give him a choice since I didn't have one.

TWELVE

Flower Shop and a Playlist

RUSH

The following day,work modeled itself on some version of hell. Without Clint, everything became more difficult. His office was something out of nightmares. I searched for an hour to find contact numbers for potential customers who’d asked for a quote.

Then I couldn’t work out the price of a drive-in job request because Clint had overhauled my "lame-ass" prices and had secreted the new costs breakdown someplace unbeknownst to me. After a while, I gave up and quoted what I thought was a price. Immediately, I knew by the look on the guy's face that it was too low. But the damage was done.

Finally, and to add insult to the injury of the day, I cut a wide gash across the palm of my left hand with a screwdriver. Now I’d be going on my date with Lux wearing a bandage like a big fat baby.

By three in the afternoon, I gave up and went upstairs to create the playlist I promised her. My mind wasn’t in the work anyway, and I didn't want to lose a digit, or worse, at the rate I was going. Grabbing a beer from the fridge, I switched on the television and flicked through the news channels before settling on a rerun of a ball game.

I was picking Lux up at seven, which felt like forever. I nursed my beer, laid on the couch a while, and even tried to sleep. Nothing helped. I was acting like a fourteen-year-old going out on my first date.

Throughout my life, and up until recently, I hadn't seen the point in having a long-term relationship. Settling down hadn't been part of my plan. I'd seen what marriage and kids did to my brother. The way he'd haul ass to work a tedious job every day and then go home to his wife and crazy young kids.

Sandra was okay. I had no issues with her. My niece and nephew were … well, three and two, which basically summarized their personalities. I loved spending time with them, but I always got to leave and go back to my single life. Win-win.

Lux, though, had me fired up in a way I was unprepared for. Sure, I'd been preparing, as in I'd stopped with the one-night stands and hanging out at bars on the weekends a few months ago. But Lux had me feeling like I'd been hit over the head with a frying pan or a baseball bat. I'd never in my whole fucking life made a playlist for someone. As I scrolled through songs and listened to them, I picked out a few I liked, including Your Song by Elton John and Unchained Melody by The Righteous Brothers. Then I checked out some eighties music and found a few I liked. Faithfully by Journey and Is This Love by Whitesnake. The last one was a hairband, and I hoped Lux would appreciate it. As I listened, I thought about restaurants and picked a fondue place. I'd never been, but it sounded like it might be fun. I called to make a reservation and was glad I did. A lot of people liked to fondue. I wanted to treat Lux well. She had an innocence about her that created a need within me to treat her like a queen and protect her.

Sure, she was gorgeous. Her slender frame, perhaps delicate compared to the girls I’d been with before, brought out something almost primal in me. A date with Lux wasn't just a meal and then an oblivious fuck. It meant something to me. Or, more precisely, she meant something to me.

After finishing the playlist, I still had time to kill and went for a run. When I returned, I took a long hot shower and got ready. It was impossible to choose clothes that didn't fucking scream grease monkey, but I decided on tan pants and a white button-down shirt. I even shaved and put a little product in my hair to make sure it wouldn't go everywhere, thanks to my natural waves.

I'd cleaned out my truck earlier and changed out the car scent, so it smelled strongly of pine. At six-fifteen, I climbed in. Rolled down the windows and turned over the engine. On the way to her house on the other side of town, I stopped at a florist shop.

Inside, the air was cool and scented. An older woman behind the counter glanced up. “Can I help you?” She had on overalls and looked like she might live in a hippy commune.

I glanced at the refrigerators full of flowers. “Yeah.” Nerves weren’t my thing, but my mouth dried at the thought of buying flowers. First, a playlist. Now flowers. What the fuck? Usually, I just went to a bar. Bought a woman I was interested in a couple of drinks and then took her back to my place. Fucking wooing a woman. That was new. “I want something nice but not too showy.”

The woman analyzed me. “First date?”

I let out a nervous chuckle and stuffed my hands in my pockets. “That obvious, huh?”

“Sweetie, it’s written all over your face.” She clucked her tongue and came around the counter.

Not great news then. I would show up at Lux's house and look like a complete douchebag. Maybe I should abandon my plans and just take Lux to a bar. We could drink and see where the night took us.

“I’m not usually like this,” I said, adding a dash of bravado.

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