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She threw her hand up to stop me. “I know you’re not the type to get jealous or resentful or any of that, Hastings,” she said. “But when I say that Saxton is my best friend, when Saxton says that I’m his best friend, we’re not talking life-long acquaintances or good friends or anything like that.” Her brows furrowed as she regarded me. “I’m talking about the fact that I will always choose Saxton above anyone else, even my parents. I’m talking about the fact that I will have no problem keeping his secrets for him, even from you. I’m talking about the fact that Saxton would give up his entire future to support me. I’d also give up my entire future to follow Saxton anywhere.”
Emotion was clogging up my throat. “I…I don’t understand,” I stuttered. “Then…why aren’t you guys a couple? Why aren’t you together if you love each other like that so much?”
Her features softened again. “Because we weren’t meant for that kind of love. Whatever is in God’s plan, it’s not for me and Saxton to be together. We have been by each other’s side for years, and there has never been a flicker of something more between us. His soul recognized mine as his friend, and mine did the same.” She shrugged. “I don’t know why it’s not Saxton, only that it isn’t.”
“He’s always going to choose you over me, isn’t he?”
Kincaid looked at me sadly. “If you think there will ever be a time where he might have to do that, then maybe you should rethink this relationship you have with him. It’s still early enough to walk away, Hastings.”
Tears started to fall. “No, I…I didn’t mean that,” I said, trying to backtrack. “I don’t think-”
“I think we need to table this conversation until after you’ve had some time to think about it, Has-”
“No,” I rushed out. “That’s not how I meant it. I swear.”
She made a pretense of looking at her watch. “Look, I have somewhere to be,” she lied, and it was confusing me further because Kincaid Black didn’t lie. She didn’t pussyfoot around. She told you like it was, and she had no remorse for it. So, if she was treating me with kid gloves, it was because of Saxton, and that just made me feel worse. I had projected my insecurities onto her friendship with Saxton, and I was wrong for that.
“Kincaid, can we talk about this,” I begged. “Please.”
“Sure,” she replied. “But after I talk with Saxton. I was doing my best to be Switzerland, but since now that we’ve had this talk, I need to know what you mean to him.” My stomach dropped at that. “If he’s serious about you, then we will talk this out. If he’s not, then I don’t owe you anything, Hastings.”
That cut deep.
While it was the truth, it felt like a vicious slice to my heart.
“I understand,” I muttered, feeling hurt and stupid.
Kincaid’s brows furrowed again. “I hope you do,” she said. “I really hope you do. I want you for Saxton, but I won’t entertain nonsense if I don’t have to. Just like I said that I would die and kill for him, I’ll put up with an insecure girlfriend for him, too, if he loves you. However, if he doesn’t…well, I don’t suffer fool gladly, Hastings. You know this.”
“I didn’t mean it the way it sounded, Kincaid,” I told her. “Honest.”
“We’ll talk soon, Hastings. I promise.”
I was left sitting on her bed as she grabbed her stuff and headed out the door. I felt like shit, but the fact that she hadn’t kicked me out of her room gave me hope.
I couldn’t lose both Kincaid and Saxton.
