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“I know Scarlett.”
“We might have… kissed.”
He doesn’t react and I’m realizing the monumental bullshit I pulled.
I kissed Scarlett.
“I don’t know what was going through my mind. The first time I pushed her away, because, fuck, it’s Scarlett Martin! She’s Ed’s sister. His sister! I’ve known her since she was born. She wore diapers and she was the quintessential annoying girl. Even though we’re only a year apart, it’s always been like this. Scarlett was a baby. Our parents have been best friends since college, and I have always known the Martins and the Riley family. As far back as I can remember, she has always been with us. She was in the gang, pissed off her brother, snuck us to parties, screwed up our dating plans.”
I sigh.
“I don’t know how she went from being that annoying kid to…”
I stop and swallow. The images come back to me. Her body on mine, her mouth on my lips, her breath against my skin. Her smell, her thighs, her ass. My fingers buried in her firm buttocks, ready to slip into her flesh, under her pajamas, to feel her warmth. I would have been able to fuck her on the couch. To take everything I needed to stop the desire that was rising in my chest, in my balls. I wanted to take her hard, to hear her moan my name, to forget that she and I are anything but natural. Edgar would fuck me worse if he found out what I was about to do.
What Idreamedof doing.
What Iallowedmyself to do.
What I mustneverdo again.
“I would have slept with her if she hadn’t pushed me away,” Iadmit.
It would have ruined everything. Her modest kiss the other time was nothing. However, it caused a real mess in our relationship. I might as well say that this time I risk having lost her for good. Was it worth it? I don’t fucking know. Did I just want to sleep with her? Yes. Would that have been enough to satisfy my desire? Damn, I’m not even sure.
A sudden rush of shame hits me in the guts as Harriet’s blue eyes replace Scarlett’s hazel gaze. I cheated on my girlfriend. She doesn’t deserve a guy who jumps on his almost-little sister, one drunken night, after fantasizing about her for hours. Then Edgar’s face takes over. My brother. The guy I grew up with.
Fuck.
I’m the worst motherfucker.
“Iwantedto sleep with her.”
“But you didn’t do it,” says Milo. “Don’t blame yourself for something you thought about but didn’t do. The number of times I still dream of a pussy and a pair of tits! I blame myself to death for two hours and then I tell myself that I’m not cheating. Okay, you kissed Edgar’s sister, and how does it feel?”
“It was good,” I can’t help but add. “Reallygood.”
“You’re screwed, then,” laughs Milo.
He taps me on the shoulder.
I know.
“How drunk were you?”
“It was the victory night against the Friars.”
“Shit! Was it forherthe tequila shot?”
I nod my head, he burst out laughing even harder.
“Thanks for the support,” I grimace. “You’re an asshole, Sullivan.”
“You’re in a deep shit, man,” Milo says.
“No kidding. If Edgar finds out, I’m a dead man.”
“You’ll just have to move out then,” Milo says.
