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“You what?” I say, my voice hoarse.
“I love you,” he repeats.
My heart plummets as my brain realizes the importance of his words. He tightens his grip and I tiptoe up to press my lips to his. I’ve been waiting for him to tell me for years and the feeling that this confession causes in my body is even crazier than I expected. It’s painful, full of lies, feelings of betrayal, but it’sbeautiful. So beautiful and strong that I kiss him passionately, biting his tongue as he tries to meet mine. He moans, and sticks me more against him while pushing us back to the first piece of furniture that stumbles in my back. He sits me on it, spreading my legs to get inside. His fingers dig into my hair, and he shifts slightly, resting his forehead on mine to catch his breath. I caress his cheek, running my thumb over his still wet lip.
“Is this a good time to tell you that I loved you first?”
He smiles. “I said it first, technically I win.”
I shake my head. My breathing quickens.
“I’ve been in love with you since middle school.”
He steps back to gaze at me carefully, one arm still wrapped around my hips. He looks confused and I take a deep breath before adding, “I can’t tell you when exactly I realized it. But I know that for years, your presence was enough to drive me crazy. Your voice, your smile, your lame jokes.”
“My jokes are not lame.”
I tap his shoulder and he laughs as he hugs me tighter. If I didn’t know him so well, I’d say my confession has no effect on him. But I know he’s moved. Humor is his weapon of defense, his parade to regain control of a situation that escapes him, so I continue, “I mean it, Nolan. I’ve always loved you.”
He kisses my forehead with a long sigh. He finally lifts my chin using his index finger so that our eyes lock.
“Damn, I don’t know how I missed you for so many years.”
His comment releases a heat in my chest, and I swallowed hard. “I didn’t think that one day it would be mutual.”
He brings his face even closer and whispers to me in a calm voice, “It’s mutual. Never doubt it again.”
Then he kisses me gently. He takes the time to taste my lips, to savor my tongue, to dip his hands under my T-shirt. The feelings between us explode as soon as our tongues are added to the equation. They search for each other, bicker and electrifyingus both. My heels dig into his thighs and I force him to stay against me, feeling his erection rubbing against my clitoris. His breath is heavy and his heart races under my fingers. There’s no more room for tenderness, I want him to take me here and I know that he does too, because his gestures are hasty and eager. The moment I open my mouth to tell him, another voice echoes through the room.
And it’s not Nolan’s.
34
Nolan
“What the hell?”
I jump back, leaving Scarlett’s warm body to face her brother. Face distorted by rage, Edgar’s gaze switches from me to his little sister several times in the tense silence. “What. The.Fuck. Is. This?”
He rushes into the kitchen and grabs Scarlett by the arm, pulling her down from the counter in a sharp move. I reflexively step in, wrapping my hand around his tense bicep. He rages and glares at me.
“Let her go,” I command.
“You’re hurting me, Ed.”
“What were you doing?” says Leo behind me.
I don’t turn to him, keeping my eyes glued to Edgar’s who is vibrating rage. Leo saw very well what we were doing. He and Edgar should never have been here. According to thefuckingschedule posted on the fridge, they were supposed to be back in an hour.
Not now.
Not when I was so close to having sex with Scarlett in this kitchen.
Edgar lets go of Scarlett and I catch her massaging her battered skin, before giving me a panicked look. I feel helpless, completely disillusioned, destabilized, unable to think about how to confess what is really happening to Edgar. So, overwhelmed by fear, panic, and a whole of bunch of unspeakable emotions. I say the one thing that pops into my head—and which I regret the second it slips from my lips, “It’s not what you think.”
Edgar sneers disdainfully, stepping back slightly while running an annoyed hand through his hair.
“You just hadyourtongue in her mouth, but that’s not what I think? Do you think I’m stupid?”
