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I don’t dare look into Scarlett’s eyes for fear of reading disappointment there and continue to challenge my buddy. I smooth my T-shirt, puffing out my chest to give me a bearing.
Deep down, I’m just a piece of shit.
“It happened without thinking.”
I sink a little deeper into my lie, not finding the strength to go back. To assume. The hate I see in Edgar’s eyes is fucking me up, and in that moment, I understand why I’ve fought so hard. Why I tried not to cave, why during all these weeks when my desire increased, I buried my head in the sand. Because it fucks up my friend, and I’m going to ruin twenty years of friendship. In less than a second.
“I don’t know what got into me, we were talking, and I went sideways. But that doesn’t mean anything, I swear, man!”
Edgar frowns and crosses his arms against his chest. He turns to his sister, whose silence worries me. When my attention lands on her, my heart takes a beating. Her bottom lip quivers and I know she’s holding back tears. Her jaw is clenched as hard as possible and she has her fists pressed along her body.
“And you let him do it?” he spits.
She takes a moment before answering, swallowing back a sob as she glares at me. She shrugs, biting her cheek, and returns her attention to her brother in disgust.
“Didn’t you hear him?” she says in a dull voice. “It happened like this. We went sideways”
My chest tightens and I take a breath of air, trying to get the blood flowing through my veins. My head is about to explode, and there is a pain in my stomach that squeezes me so hard that I’m holding back from throwing up on my white sneakers.
Yet, even though I regret every word I said, I know it was the right thing to do. That’s for the best. And it doesn’t make me feelbetter to know that.
Far from it.
“I was going to push him away when you came in.”
Then, without warning, Scarlett slaps me in front of the guys and I don’t flinch, welcoming the pain as a saving punishment. I close my eyes and when I open them again, the hatred I discover in hers destroys my resistance.
“You’re an asshole, Nolan,” she spits. “And you, Edgar, mind your own business!”
“Stay here, Scar,” he yells as his sister rushes out of the kitchen. “I’m not done with you two. You really think I’m going to buy your crap! Went sideways, seriously?”
He grabs her by the arm and we both followed them into the living room. Brother and sister size each other up and Scarlett eyes her brother smugly.
“I don’t care what you believe or not, I’m leaving this apartment!”
“Scar,” I can’t help but say.
Edgar turns to me, frowning. I shake my head and try to join Scarlett who has taken refuge in her room.
“Scarlett, please!”
I watch her, completely lost, pulling a backpack out from under her bed. She quickly opens her closet and throws clothes on the mattress. She doesn’t listen to me, doesn’t give me a single glance, and continues to move with rage.
“Are you going to tell me nothing’s going on, Jones?”
Edgar grabs me by the collar of the T-shirt, and I throw my arms in the air in surrender. I feel helpless and at this precise moment, I know that I’m losing everything.
“Dude, let him go, you can see he’s not doing anything wrong,” says Leo in a calm voice.
Standing back at the door, Leo observes us in silence. No one really knows how to handle this situation and it’s my fault. I getrid of my friend’s grip without difficulty, he takes a step back.
“He’s not doing anything wrong?” Edgar snaps. “No, he just wanted to fuck my sister after he fucked half of Boston.”
“Shut the fuck up, Ed, you don’t know what you’re talking about!”
I growl, focused on him while behind me I hear the zipper of a bag being closed with anger.
“Scarlett, stay here!” I exclaim, turning around. “You can’t leave.”
