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Chapter Twelve
McKenzie
“Kinky sex?”
If I weren’t completely mortified, I’d find Noah’s incredulous look funny. Instead, I feel my face turn bright red. I snatch the list back. “Um, yeah. That’s what I was going to ask for your help with.”
He sits back, and a slow, wicked smile crosses his gorgeous face.
“Then ask me.”
I’m powerless to resist when he uses that commanding tone, but I lower my gaze, unable to look him in the eye as I put into words what I want from him. “Um, will you have kinky sex with me?”
It’s official. I’m going to die of embarrassment.
But his finger is under my chin, forcing my gaze to his. His brown eyes are dark and smoldering. “There is nothing I would enjoy more,” he says, his voice husky. Those gorgeous lips of his curve up in a sensuous smile. “Of course, you’ll have to agree to my terms.”
I lick my lips nervously. “What terms?”
He’s looking at me intently, and his eyes seem to see through me to my deepest, darkest desires. There’s nowhere to hide. I fight not to fidget under his gaze. “From now until you leave theKairosfor good, you’re mine.”
My pulse gallops at the thought of belonging to Noah. “What does that mean?”
“It means I own you. You’re mine to kiss and hold, take and fuck, control and possess. Whatever I want. Whenever I want it.”
Oh God. Can I do this? I hope so, because now that I’ve had a taste of Noah, and a glimpse of the pleasure he has the power to give me, there’s no way I cannotdo this.
“Yes.” It’s consent cloaked in a prayer.
His predatory smile is dangerous, and I wonder briefly what I’ve gotten myself into. But there’s no doubt about it. I want this. Not because it’s on Liam’s bucket list, but because suddenly, it’s on mine. For the first time since I can remember, I feel like I’m truly living, and I’m suddenly ravenous to experience all life has to offer, even, or especially, the sensuous things. I’ve had a taste of Noah’s dark proclivities, and I want more.
Doing the things on Liam’s list—things that scare me—has made me feel alive, and I wonder briefly if I’m becoming a thrill junkie. Maybe that’s why Noah’s so compelling. If danger had a name, it would be Noah Payne, and I want him and everything that being with him means. I want to push the boundaries with him, to see where he can take me, and just how close to the edge I can go.
“So what happens now?” I nervously twist my fingers.
He gets to his feet and holds out his hand, pulling me up and into his arms. He takes my mouth slowly and sensually, kissing me thoroughly before turning me around and smacking my ass. “Now we continue on our course to El Nido. You’re driving.”
I look at him in bewilderment. Somehow, I thought agreeing to kinky sex would mean we’d actually have sex.
As if reading my thoughts, his gaze drops to my lips. “I’m just as eager as you are, sweetheart, but we need space, privacy, and a few accessories for the things I want to do to you. We’ll sail to El Nido and get a hotel on the beach tonight. If you still want to explore the darkness with me, that is.”
“I’m not going to change my mind.”
He caresses my cheek with the back of his forefinger. “I’m not going to let you.” His voice is thick and raspy and sets off the flutter of a thousand butterflies in my stomach.
It takes three hours to get to El Nido, and in that time, Noah teaches me how to sail, showing me how to tell which direction the wind’s blowing, how to steer straight, and how to trim the sails. He also subtly shows me what I can expect over the course of the rest of our trip. He touches me often, possessively laying his hand on my thigh or caressing my ass as he leans over to show me something, or occasionally trailing his fingers over my side, smiling when I wriggle away because it tickles.
“I’m going to have so much fun with you tonight,” he says with a slow grin that does nothing to alleviate my nerves.
With each touch and look, he builds my desire, and by the time we dock on Pangulasian Island, I’m wet with anticipation. The island is absolutely stunning, and so is the hotel on the beach where we’re staying. Our room is a spacious treetop canopy villa that’s built on stilts hidden in a grove of trees and facing the ocean. The ceiling is made of wood rafters, and windows on three sides give us an unobscured view of the Pacific. There’s not much furniture—just a king-size bed with a canopy, a night table, and a small sofa and a wingback chair tucked into a corner, but it’s roomy, and the balcony is amazing, with a chaise lounge and an unencumbered view of the ocean stretching out as far as the eye can see. Just below us on the beach, I can see two lounge chairs underneath an umbrella.
“So many places to explore you,” Noah says with a faint smile, and my sex clenches at the thought of the night ahead.
Excitement and anticipation have me on edge, and I’d be happy to stay in and explore this newfound dynamic between us right away, but Noah insists we fully enjoy everything the island offers, so we spend several hours snorkeling on the reef off the hotel’s private beach. He eventually decides we’re finished, thank God, and hand in hand, we walk back to the villa. There’s a subtle change between us. The awareness and sexual tension is still there—if anything, it’s even stronger—but there’s a new underlying sense of inevitability, of connection and rightness. Although we’ve been fighting it—or rather, Noah’s been fighting it—suddenly it feels like we belong together, if only for tonight.
I guess it’s not surprising, given everything that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours. I shiver at the memory of waking up to Noah quietly telling me someone was on the boat and handing me a gun. I’ve tried not to think about it too much, because if I did, I would totally freak out, but Noah’s unwavering calmness both during and after the situation has helped me stay centered. I feel utterly safe with him. Not just because I know Walker or one of the other SEALs sent him to protect me, but because of who he is. He’d been amazing—focused, intense, and completely in control. I sigh. Just like he is with me. Mind-blowing sex with Noah has probably been a game changer, too. And now this…agreement to give myself to him for the next five days.
Once we’re inside the room, he says, “I’ve made dinner reservations. I’m going to run downstairs and see if I can get a few things I’ll need for later this evening while you shower. Did you bring a dress?”
