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He shook his head. “Just let me have now, love,” he whispered.
I laced my fingers with the hand on my chest as best I could, and he seemed to take that for the agreement I’d intended it to be. He rearranged our hands so his was on top of mine, but our fingers were still laced. It was one of the most intimate actions I’d ever experienced. Which I realised wasn’t difficult considering my history of intimate experiences.
Valen buried his face between my legs and didn’t let up until I’d cum for him three times. It felt different. It wasn’t hard and fast. He got nothing out of it. It was all for me. From him, for me.
I tried to tell myself to breathe his name slightly less…whatever it was, because it felt like something that had the potential to be incredibly powerful. The whole moment filled me with light and warmth and the firm belief that I was wanted. Me. Not the princess. Not the future goddess. Just me.
Emotions were running high when he finally dragged his face up to mine, and I saw I wasn’t the only one. I scooted back on the bed, my finger under his chin for him to follow me. And follow me he did. For a split second, I felt like Valen Kincaid would follow me to the ends of the universe.
“Valen…” I whispered.
“Harlow…” he seemed to agree.
I pulled him down to the bed with me as I kissed him. He tasted like me, but there were worse things he could taste like, I was sure.
We rolled so he was nestled between my legs again and he slid in easily.
We moved together slowly, him pressing deep inside me in long, steady thrusts. We hugged each other close. My heart soared in my chest, but I ignored it.
“Fuck, you’re so… Ugh,” he whispered in my ear. “I’ve had addictions, love…”
“Are you saying you’re addicted to me, Valen?” I breathed as we rocked together.
“If they kill me tomorrow, I’ll die a happy man.”
“Why? Because you had me first?”
He nuzzled his face against mine. “Because I had you at all. Because…” He started increasing his pace, fucking me deeper, “there was a time I called you mine.”
A breathy moan escaped me. “I want to say I’ll always be yours,” also escaped me and we both froze to look at each other.
My heart pounded in my chest and the unreadable expression on his face made me panicky. I didn’t know what he was thinking. It wasn’t the first time I’d given too much away, but this was different. This served no purpose. I didn’t win anything by telling him that. I only lost. Potentially everything.
Finally, he cupped my cheek and ran his hand up my body as he pumped me again. The look in his eyes, for a moment, was discernible. And, thankfully, it wasn’t all bad.
He dropped his lips to my ear and whispered, “No one will ever get as close to my heart as you have.”
I noticed his word choice. He didn’t say his heart was mine. He didn’t say I was in his heart. But I’d come close, and that was going to have to be enough for me. He might not have been with anyone else since Halloween, but I’d be the naïve fool he used to believe I was if I thought he’d never fuck around again. Before tonight, he hadn’t owed me anything, but after tonight, he definitely wouldn’t owe me anything. He wouldn’t owe me anything and this would be over. For good.
I wanted to tell him he’d always be in mine, but would it mean as much to him as it did to me? Would he prefer not to know? And was it true? For a night that was supposed to be just all out carnal physical pleasure, there’d been a lot of emotion involved. What was a bit more?
“You will always have a piece of mine,” I told him.
“Fuck, love…” he breathed. “Just…” He pulled back to look at me. “Fuck it,” he said and he kissed me.
This. This was it. This was no holds barred. For perhaps the first time in his life, Valen Kincaid held nothing back. He wore no mask. There was everything in that kiss. Everything I knew we’d never speak about, never even acknowledge. But I knew. I knew we both felt the same: maybe in another life.
It wasn’t just heat and lust and passion that swirled around us as he thrust harder and deeper and faster. Emotion and feeling and the tiniest spark of the potential for love tied us together. Hands roamed freely. This wasn’t fucking for pleasure’s sake. This was connection, pure and simple.
Breathy nothings passed between us, meaning little outside the little bubble of moment in which we’d found ourselves. The coil in me tightened and wavered on the precipice for so long, it felt like one long, drawn out orgasm. But as Valen’s hand tightened on my hip and my leg shifted, and he slid deeper, I couldn’t hold back my moans.
As my orgasm enveloped me, I felt him throb inside me and he exhaled sharply as he came hard. After a few languid thrusts, Valen slid out of me, rolled over and pulled my back to his front. Valen Kincaid was actually spooning. He was also dropping little lazy kisses all over me.
Had I not been utterly spent and exhausted – both physically, but now emotionally as well – I might have found that funnier. As it was, I just enjoyed the feeling of behind tucked warm and safe in his arms, committing it to memory as though I knew there were dark days to come for which I’d need comfort.
As much as I wanted to stay there forever, I could feel myself falling asleep and knew that it was time this came to an end.
“I really should go before someone sees me,” I told him with a laugh as he peppered my neck with kisses. The neck that now housed Valen Kincaid’s cross.
