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“Snugglier?”
“Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”
I looked down at where I was playing with my shoelace. “No. I mean, I guess I have...”
“How are you feeling about it all?”
I let out a huge breath. “I haven’t really given myself much time to think about it.”
“Do you think you should?”
“I don’t... Should I?”
“I don’t know. I’m not your bloody conscience. I’m legit asking ifyouthink now is a good time? Does it matter that Apollo’s... I don’t know, paying attention?”
I chewed my lip and fiddled with my shoelace some more as I thought about it.
Did I need to think about what was happening? Apollo was taking notice, but I’d also told myself rather sternly that I was done with Valen. I was fine with casual sex – after all, the boys certainly had plenty of it, so why shouldn’t I – but there was casual sex, and then there was hate fucking a guy you couldn’t stand.
“I don’t know,” I told her honestly. “But I know I have to be stronger than my want for Valen. I’ve got limited power in my life. The least I can control is my own libido, surely.”
Florence snorted. “Yeah, good luck with that.”
I frowned at her. “Not helping.”
“That,” she said, pointing at me, “isn’t my job. Go on, then. What about Apollo?”
“What about him?” I asked.
“Well, what do we think about him waking up?”
I sighed and flopped back on my bed. “I don’t know about that either.”
“It’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”
“Sort of,” I said lamely.
“Help me out here, Harlow,” she begged. “I’m in your corner, I’ll support whatever you need, but I just don’t get it.”
“I guess it’s what I wanted,” I said. “I’m expected to marry him, so I know we have to go from fake to real eventually. I just don’t know if I want it now.”
“You worried he won’t be faithful?”
I laughed. I had to. “No. Oddly, that’s not high on my priority list.”
“What, then?”
“We just don’t have that relationship. I don’t see him that way.”
“But you’ve thought about it?”
“I guess. He’s hot. It doesn’t gross me out or anything. I just...” I sighed. “I don’t know what me in a relationship of any kind looks like. I feel like I haven’t got me figured out, so how can I have Apollo and me figured out.”
“Well, let’s figure you out!”
I smiled at her. “And that’s the problem. What’s the point in figuring me out if I’m just going to be Apollo’s princess anyway?”
“Okay...?”
