Page 9 of Not Since Ewe


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Once again, Tess didn’t say anything. Her expression was as cool and impassive as a polished stone wall. It was impossible to tell what she was thinking.

“So what did the message say?” I asked finally. “What does she want?”

“Right now, she just wants to know more about us.”

I nodded. “All right.”

“Does that mean you’re okay with it?”

I let out a wry laugh as I rubbed my forehead. “There are so many fucking things about this that I will never be okay with. But getting to know my daughter isn’t one of them.”

“I wasn’t sure how you’d feel. Especially since you have your own family now. I didn’t know if you’d want the disruption of another child you never wanted.”

I cut a glare at her. “You don’t have the slightest idea what I wanted or didn’t want.”

Tess’s mouth snapped shut. We traded glares for a lengthy moment before she cleared her throat. “I’ve been messaging with her since last week, and I’ve told her a fair amount about myself already. But I haven’t told her anything about you yet. I said I needed to talk to you before I revealed any personally identifying information.”

“So what’s the next step? What do we do now?” My voice came out gruff, but there wasn’t anything I could do about that. I was barely holding it together.

“I’m meeting her in person for the first time on Saturday. We’re having coffee.”

“I could come with you.” Now that our daughter had found us, I was impatient for the next steps to happen. I needed to meet her. Toknowher. To finally get the answers to the unknowns that had haunted me for the last three decades of my life.

Tess frowned. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. This is a lot for all of us to process, and I don’t want to overwhelm her. It might be better if she meets us one at a time.”

I swallowed a bitter surge of resentment. Rationally, I could see the wisdom in Tess’s position. But I couldn’t help feeling she was shutting me out all over again. Just like thirty years ago, she was insisting on doing everything on her own. Yet again, I’d be stuck on the outside wondering what was happening.

But Tess held all the cards, like always. And our daughter’s feelings were the only ones that mattered right now. It was probably true that it’d be easier for her to meet us one at a time.

“Fine,” I agreed. “If that’s what you think is best. You can answer whatever questions she has about me and tell her how to get in touch with me herself if she wants.”

“You’re okay with me telling her you’re married and have kids?”

“I’m divorced now, but you can tell her I have two kids. She’ll probably want to know she has an eighteen-year-old half-sister and a fifteen-year-old half-brother. Let her know I welcome the chance to get to know her.” I wasn’t sure how my kids were going to take the news they had an older sister they didn’t know about, but I’d cross that bridge when we came to it.

“I’ll tell her,” Tess said. “I didn’t realize you’d gotten divorced.”

“A year ago.” I took out my phone. “I’m emailing you my cell number and home address so you can give them to her. You can also use them yourself if you need to get in touch with me for any reason.”

“I appreciate that.” Tess extracted her phone from a pocket in her leggings.

I sipped my whiskey as I watched her tap her thumbs on the screen. “You said her name was Erin?” I asked, getting used to the sound of it.

“That’s right.”

“Is she happy? Did she have a good childhood? Good parents?”

Tess’s brow creased as she looked up at me. “She hasn’t revealed much about herself yet. I know she was adopted as an infant, but otherwise she’s said very little about her parents or her childhood. She’s been careful how much personal information she shares with me, which is smart, considering I’m a total stranger.”

“It is. I’m glad she’s protecting herself.” My phone vibrated next to me on the couch. Tess had sent me a text so I’d have her cell number.

“She did tell me she’s a science teacher. But I don’t know what grade or anything.”

“Really? A teacher.” I smiled as I tucked my phone into my jacket pocket. “She must get that from you.”

The corner of Tess’s mouth tugged upward. Our eyes caught and held, and as the moment stretched out, something that felt like kinship passed between us. Whether we liked it or not, the two of us were bound together by what had happened thirty years ago.

And now we were connected by our grown daughter. God, what a thought.

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