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Someone is shouting so loud in my ear. When I open my eyes, I find I’m lying flat on my back with Levi directly above me. What the hell? How did I get here?
As soon as I go to move, the biggest wave of nausea and dizziness suspends me to the spot. Nope, guess I’m not moving.
I try to breathe through it, but it’s no use. A cold sweat breaks out along my hairline, and I know I’m going to be sick any second.
“What the fuck, Tyler? Why are you sprawled out on your back in the middle of my kitchen?”
I try to think, but I can’t see past how I feel. Suddenly, my throat opens, and I sit up just as vomit projectiles all over Levi’s pants and shoes.
It doesn’t stop, even though I try to cover my mouth. It sprays onto the refrigerator and the cabinets. I use all my strength to push myself up, but I slip back down into my own mess. It makes an even bigger disaster, and fuck, the smell.
It’s enough to make me puke all over again.
“What the fuck, Ty? This place is disgusting! Besides the vomit, what is the rest of this mess? Food, dishes, trash. What the fuck happened in here last night after you came home?” Levi crosses his arms as he waits for an answer.
“Nothing!” I shout but instantly regret the throb of my head.
“Oh, no headache to go with your hangover?” Levi yells back, and I wince at every fucking word. It’s like a knife repeatedly stabbing my brain. “I thought you were done acting like a fool. You know how much it fucks up all of our lives. I didn’t want this to happen to you too.”
Levi walks out of the room, and I try to process the scene around me, but it only makes my head pound more. When he returns, he has my bottle of Jack Daniels and my shot glass.
What the hell is he doing?
“You can’t fucking drink your problems away, Tyler. You see what it does to people. To their lives. To their families and friends. To their career. It fucks so much shit up.” Levi says each word like it’s a slap to the face, and I feel every single one. He’s livid; I feel it radiating off him. “And believe me, I know how fucking hard it is. I know sometimes you can’t help it. I know sometimes it feels like it’s the only thing that’ll get you through the day.
“But you know this shit already. Do I need to say it again?” he asks, and I don’t answer, holding back the puke as I stare at the floor.
“Guess I do. A drunk driver killed our mother. And then Dad went deeper and deeper into the bottle just like I did. And look where it got us? With fucked-up lives, that’s where.” He pours a shot.
“I’ve been sober for over a year now. But do I still want to drink?” Levi asks as he slams the bottle down on the counter. “Every goddamn day. Don’t be like me, little bro. Please.”
I focus on not puking again, the dark amber liquid mocking me from the counter. I’m still drenched in vomit, still sitting in it, unable to fucking move.
When Levi holds up the shot glass, I shake my head. “No, don’t. What the fuck are you doing?”
“You want to fucking drink, little bro? Alright then, let’s fucking drink.” With a tear slowly trickling down his face, Levi pounds the shot. I yell no, but it’s no use. He bangs the empty shot glass on the counter.
“Fuck, Levi! Why did you break your sobriety for that one shot?” I ask in disbelief. What the actual fuck?
He doesn’t answer as he pours another one. “You ready for yours?”
“How could you do that? One shot and your entire year, and you threw all that hard work out the window. Because of me! Punish me another way! What the fuck, man.”
“You and Dad drink, so why can’t I? Might as well all throw our lives away. What’s the point if none of us cares?” Levi says.
Whatever Levi is doing, I don’t fucking get it. But I can’t bear to watch any more of this shit show. No matter how sick I feel, I need a shower and to clean up this mess.
Pushing myself to a stand as slowly as I can to ward off any dizziness is no use. The room still spins, and I gag.
“Where are you going?” Levi spits out as he watches me.
“If you can’t tell, I need a shower. Not more fucking liquor. But I’m not gonna watch you fuck up your life again and again just like our fuckup of a dad.”
I feel his hand on my shoulder before I see him, but I barely register what’s happening before Levi’s slamming me against the wall. He fists my shirt and yells in my face, his only mere inches from mine. “Neither one of us is like that man. I won’t stand here and watch you make the same mistakes as I did with mine. See just how easy it is to throw it all away? In the blink of a second, everything I fought so hard for could be gone in an instant. Do you fucking understand?”
Levi lets me go and takes a step back. He looks shocked as he stares at his shaking hands. “I can’t fucking believe I did that.” He walks back to the counter and tosses the shot glass into the sink, shattering it to pieces. He then pours out the entire bottle of whiskey. “Let’s get this place cleaned up before Raina gets home.”
We clean up the kitchen together and part ways, agreeing to head to the beach in a few hours. I take a long hot shower and climb into bed after popping a few painkillers.
