Page 22 of Shatter


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Hopefully, when I wake up, I feel less like death.

* * *

Hours later, we sit at the beach, just Levi and me, watching the waves crash onto the shore.

Raina was going to join us, but Levi asked her for some time alone with me. I almost wish he didn’t, needing Raina there to break the ice. You could cut the tension. It’s so thick between us.

I know Levi’s still pissed, and I feel like absolute shit for what happened. He would've never taken that shot if I hadn’t been so drunk.

Lately, every important relationship in my life seems fucked up. I don’t want to go home on bad terms with Levi. We had come so far, it would be wrong to leave pissed off at each other.

This time, I decide I should be the one to apologize first. Might as well now while we’re here alone together.

“I’m sorry, Levi. It was a bad night, and I turned to something I thought would make me feel better. You and Dad crossed my mind, but it didn’t stop me.”

“I know exactly how you feel. When you want it that bad, nothing will stop you. Believe me.”

“I feel like shit you took that shot.”

“That was the whole point. I wanted you to see how easy it is to lose control. How, in a split second, a decision can throw away months, even years of hard work. And all it takes is a second. Just one impulsive, stupid decision.”

I nod as I take in what he says, every bit of it being the truth. You really can change, alter, or hell even throw your life away in a moment’s time. It’s mind-blowing when it comes down to it. Achieving and working toward something takes so long, and ruining it can happen in a flash. “Are you going to be okay?”

Levi lets out a deep, long sigh. “I hope so.”

I don’t know how well I believe it, but I try to. “Thanks, Levi. For showing me that. I never want to wake up again like I did on the kitchen floor. I need to figure out how to deal better.”

“Partying and girls, getting into trouble and fucking around, none of those are the answer, either. You’ve gotta find a passion, Tyler. A good, positive passion. One that hopefully makes you money. And gives you something you can build a life on. Put everything you’ve got into that and trust me, you’ll succeed.”

I listen to my brother speak, and for the first time, I really listen and take in what he’s saying. Because he’s right. I need to find a passion.

Find myself. Find my happiness. Put everything I’ve got into it.

Isn’t that exactly what Chloe is doing, too?

ChapterSeven

Chloe

The holidays come and go, and I throw myself into school and my job. Anything to keep me distracted.

Tyler really did leave this time. I confirmed it with Drew. I casually slipped in the question one afternoon during a FaceTime call a few months after the beach party where I last saw him. Drew and I try to call each other every other week, but sometimes it’s only once a month. He often mentions Levi, but not once has he mentioned Tyler. I can’t mention I know. Then he’ll wonder how I got the information. So instead, I flipped the script and asked him, “I remember you telling me a while back that Tyler was staying with Levi. How’s that going?”

Drew falls silent for a moment before he says, “I told you that? Huh, I don’t remember. It went well as far as I know. He’s back home now, but he stayed with Levi for just over a month.”

I turn my head to the side and breathe a sigh of relief, hoping Drew doesn’t notice it. The timeline matches.Tyler was finally telling the truth.

But I wonder why Drew doesn’t mention Tyler. Does he know more than I think? No point worrying about that anymore.

Besides my responsibilities and FaceTime calls with Drew, Madison is good at keeping me busy. She fills our weekends with track meets (me watching her run) and then spa days (her pretending to love girly-girl stuff), and our nights are either at some party, the beach, or watching scary movies.

Yeah, me, the girl who scares easily. Somehow, Mads made me love them. We laugh at the overdone scary parts, and sometimes freak out when it really is creepy.

Lennox and Everleigh join us often. I’m so thankful for all the friends I’ve made since starting here. And there’s always more people to meet. One night, Len and Eves bring over another girl they met from down the hall. Her name is Maia, and she’s lucky enough to have her own dorm room, seeing as her roommate dropped out. They never filled the spot, leaving Maia to enjoy a room to herself.

She’s really quiet, but when she speaks, she’s kind, the type to always help another out. Everleigh mentioned Maia has a boyfriend, making her the only taken one in our group, but it’s a long-distance thing. He lives back in Maia’s hometown four hours north of here. She never mentions him, though.

Anyway, it’s not that I don’t love sharing with Madison, but one room isn’t easy for one person, never mind two. Which is why I’m planning on asking Madison to rent an apartment with me for our sophomore year. Just thinking about it makes me so excited.

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