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What is she talking about? Of course, I want to be with her. Doesn’t she know that she’s my whole fucking world?
“What?” I ask in confusion as I take a step closer to her. Confusion gives way to frustration, but the longer I study her, the more I realize she’s not angry. She’s broken. Lonely. Just like me.
“I threw myself at you over and over again,” she says in exasperation. “Remember when I freaking propositioned you for sex?”
“The night where you were drunk?”
“Tipsy!” she shouts. I hold up my hands in surrender.
“Right, tipsy.”
Something shifts. I feel like my brain is finally kicking on, and all of the memories of us together flash before my eyes as my girl pours her frustrated, broken little heart out. I let her get it all out, knowing I’m going to claim her once and for all when she’s done.
“I made it abundantly clear how much I like you. And you kissed me, and I thought… I thought you felt it too.”
“I did. I do,” I amend. My feisty girl rolls her eyes.
“You have a funny way of showing me that you want me. We only ever hook up and we only talk because I initiate it. I don’t want to chase after you anymore.”
“You’ve been chasing after me?” I ask incredulously.
“Obviously!”
“It hasn’t been obvious!” I argue back. Is she crazy? I love her no matter what, but swear to Christ, we’re both lost causes when it comes to subtle communication.
Gwen crosses her arms over her chest. “So, you think that I just gave away my virginity to you because what? You were the first guy to show interest in me?”
“I was a virgin too,” I admit, taking a step closer.
“And then… what?” She pauses her frantic pacing, finally turning to face me head on.
“You were my first,” I tell her softly. “And second.” Her lips twitch, but she doesn’t allow herself to smirk. Hopefully the fact that she wants to is a good sign.
“I didn’t know,” she whispers. “But how would I?” she says, her voice coming out stronger. “You never freaking talk to me!”
“Let me fix that,” I tell her, hoping to give her a gentle smile. “That night… It meant everything to me. More than you’ll ever know. I’ve wanted you for so long, and knowing you trusted me with your body, your virginity… Gwen, I’ve never felt closer to another human being, and I know I’ll never share that with anyone else.” Her gaze softens. “But then in the morning, you were packed and ready to go before I could talk to you. I thought you regretted everything and just wanted to leave.”
“Yeah, because I woke up alone!”
“I was making you breakfast,” I tell her.
She blinks. My girl wasn’t expecting that.
“You can’t cook,” she whispers. I nod.
“Yeah, I know. I burned three attempts at eggs and somehow managed to under and over cook the pancakes. I was trying again when you came out with all of your bags.”
“Oh.”
“And I know I can’t give you everything you want, so when you seemed like you were looking for a clean break, I thought I could at least give you that much. But not for one second did I ever want you to leave.”
“But…” Her brow furrows, her cute little nose scrunching up as she processes that information.
My heart is racing out of control in my chest. I know that whatever happens tonight is going to dictate our whole future. It’s time for me to lay all of my cards on the table. I have nothing left to lose now.
“Gwen, I love you.”
She gasps, her eyes wide with shock, but I keep going.
