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“I have other plans.” I hear the lie leave my lips, but I don’t feel it roll off my tongue.
“Winter…” he breathes, taking a step forward, but I take a step back, knowing that if he gets any closer, my traitorous body will react.
He lifts his hand to rub the back of his neck, a gesture I know too well by now. He’s uncomfortable because he’s not in control.
“You look amazing,” he says at the same time I say, “I’m going to be late.”
His steely gaze digs deeper into my soul than it ever has, making me feel lightheaded and dizzy.
“So do you,” I say at the same time he says, “Please, stay.”
A slight smile tugs at his full lips. A smile that drops a brick in my stomach, lodging a lump in my throat so big I can barely breathe around it.
“Aleck, I can’t…”
His brow dips, showing a crack in his cool edge. “I understand,” he whispers.
Neither of us say a word, and all I want to do is turn and run, but the need to be near him is just as overwhelming. Especially with his eyes on me the way they are.
Longingly, hungrily, angrily.
He’s finally here, after all this time…
“How are Richard and Midge?”
“My dad is much better. He’ll be starting physical therapy next week.” He smiles, swiping his fingers through his tousled hair.
My god. He’s so beautiful it hurts to look at him.
“He’s a tough old man, that’s for sure,” he adds. “Thank you for sending flowers to the hospital and thank you for calling my mom. She enjoyed hearing from you. That was really sweet.”
“Of course. She was nothing but kind to me.”
A few seconds of silence passes painfully. This isn’t us. We aren’t awkward and cautious. We’re usually passionate and sliced open in front of each other like gutted fish. Yet here we are walking the same tightrope over a sea of piranha, trying not to say the wrong thing or react with too much emotion. I don’t want to duke it out in the hallway of this building, after all this time. And he, well, he’s acting as if he speaks too abruptly or loudly, he’ll scare away the skittish doe.
At this very moment I wish we were back in our suite. Him in his boxer briefs and me in my boy shorts and sports bra, eating ice cream, and firing shots at each other playfully.
But that’s not us anymore. We are no longer awe. We have no claim to each other, and I owe him nothing.
“Can we talk?” he asks at the same time I say, “I have to go.”
We both chuckle uncomfortably.
“Winter—”
“Aleck, I can’t.” I take my eyes off him and look up at the speckled stucco ceiling. A re-charge before bringing my eyes back to him, the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. “It’s beenfour weeks…”
“I know.” He expels a breath. “Fuck, I know. Please, let me explain.”
“Aleck, you’re a fire, remember? Hot and destructive. If I don’t get out now, you’ll burn me alive. I said it, you said it, then you proved it. I can’t do that to myself again.”
Aleck grinds his teeth, his square jaw straining as a low growl vibrates in his throat. “I just want to sit down and explain.”
“There’s nothing to explain—”
“There’s ashit-tonto explain,” he forces out.
I take a step back, unwelcoming his agitation becauseI’mthe one who should be angry, not him. He’s made it very clear I’m not what he wants and now he’s here demanding that he’s given a chance to absolve his guilt over leaving me heartbroken without a word.
