Page 6 of Always Was Mine

Lilly sighs. “It’s good, it really does get better every day,” she says with a small smile. When I talked to Lilly on the phone just after all the crap went down, she shared with me that Vinny had been seeing another woman, every single time they had a stupid fight and would break up, he’d go to her. That woman ended up pregnant, she too was murdered by the bad things that were happening with the club. But she also shared with me that sometimes when she looks at Rose, she sometimes sees a bit of the other woman in her, and her heart breaks all over again.

“I get it, seeing that little girl, every day in my class. Her being a constant reminder of something I can’t ever control, I couldn’t do it anymore.” On top of that, what no one knows, not even Carson, is that I had another miscarriage a month ago. And knowing my husband fathered a child with someone that wasn’t me hurts more than anything.

Lilly comes close to me, hugging me tightly. “It’s okay, we’re all here for you.”

I let out a small cry. “God, I’m stupid, I should have known, Lil, I should have realized I couldn’t do his lifestyle. Is it stupid to still be so madly in love with him though?” Falling for him wasn’t easy for me. But he reminded me so much of Trevor, my lost love, that I just attached myself to him. Love came eventually, and it was easy once I was truly in love with him. Until he started getting meaner and angrier.

“Absolutely not!” Lilly says firmly. “You can never help who you love, never. But that’s okay, because my mission, and of course once Eden knows you’re here, hers too, will be to find you a good man,” she says, letting me go, grinning at me.

“No, please, don’t do that,” I beg.

Lilly ignores me and gets off the couch. “It’s still early in the night, what do you say we go to the clubhouse?”

“Can I jump in now? This girl chat is so great and all but I’m pretty sure I have a dick, and girl chat is not something I like to do,” Gavin says from beside me.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Lilly says, for the first time actually staring at him. Her mouth drops open and I swear I see some drool.

“Wipe your mouth, Lil,” I mutter.

“You’re the hottie that drove the rescue van,” she blurts out.

Gavin gives her his signature panty soaking smirk and winks.

“Okay, um yeah, sorry but his hotness is on total overload. Back to what I was saying. Clubhouse,” she says turning back to me.

I suck my lips in between my teeth, thinking. I know the Warriors aren’t the Untamed, but I’ve never been in the clubhouse before. That was always off limits to me.

“Come on, it will be fine, trust me. We even have female members in the club, and no club whores. Those are long gone.”

I nod. “Okay, we can go.”

“Perfect! Mom isn’t there tonight; she’s watching all the kids with Mona, Hilary’s mom. But you will see her tomorrow,” she tells me.

I haven’t seen Aunt Ann in years, it will be nice to catch up with her.

“Go get dressed, I know you like the comfy look, but just a pair of jeans is fine. Get out of those sweat pants,” she tells me, shooing me into a guest room.

Chapter 4

Trevor

I’m sitting at the bar, chugging back a beer when the most gorgeous fucking woman walks through the door, following behind Lilly.

I take her in, she’s maybe an inch taller than Lilly, skinny, no real curves on her, long flowy red hair. But then I see her left hand, and I turn away. I don’t do married chicks.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Lilly come to the bar with her friend and order drinks. “You need to lose the ring Tori,” I hear Lilly say.

That name sends a painful feeling through my chest, thinking about the Tori I once had. “I know, in time I will. I’m still technically married you know, doesn’t feel right to take it off until it’s finalized,” Tori says, her voice all husky and shit. Damn.

“Hey, Trevor!” Lilly says. Ever since the women learned my real name, they stopped calling me T-bags, it was mainly Eden’s doing, saying it was the worst nickname she’s ever heard.

“Lilly,” I say with a chin lift.

“How’s the pain tonight?” she asks sincerely.

Last year during a really bad case, I was shot in the gut, leg and shoulder. Even after all this time, every so often I still get pain.

“It’s good tonight.”

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