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‘Hell, no…’ Her legs had begun shaking. Helpful. Like she wasn’t enough of a mess. ‘Although, I should probably admit that I’m so cold I can’t actually feel my lips.’
His mouth pressed against hers and it was like a rush of heat so intense and unexpected that she wondered if this was what it was like to be tasered. Maybe not tasered… Whatever the pleasurable equivalent of being tasered might be. She was rambling. Understandably. Calvin Johnson was kissing her.Kissing her!His lips were touching hers, his tongue teasing her mouth, his free hand still entangled in her hair and adding to the building heat.
This was the stuff of dreams. Really hot, erotic dreams that she’d never actually managed to turn into reality, but sure as hell wanted to. If her dormant senses were confused before, they were positively humming now.
He gently pulled away, resting his forehead against hers. ‘Better?’
She managed a weak nod. ‘I get what you mean about the shower thing now.’
Boy, did she.
Chapter Sixteen
Monday, 20thDecember
Calvin parked up outside the care home and switched off the engine. He didn’t immediately get out – he wasn’t entirely sure why. Instead, he sat there, gazing at the place he’d reluctantly come to call home, watching the car windows mist over as his breath hit the glass.
It was a gloomy day. The morose building was shrouded in a murky grey mist, mirroring the fog that had settled in his chest and created a dull ache that refused to shift. He should be feeling elated, or at least relieved. Everything he’d hoped to achieve had fallen into place. The probate application had been submitted, he had a buyer lined up for Rose Court and his return to Leeds was imminent. So why did he feel so crap?
Reluctantly, he climbed out of his car and made his way inside.
There was another emotion lurking beneath the surface – one he was reluctant to address – that was adding to his confusion. A feeling that had been niggling at him for a few weeks now, and something that had finally surfaced last night when he’d kissed Kate. It had seemed harmless at the time, effortless and spontaneous, a natural conclusion to a fun evening spent in her company. But in the cold light of day, he knew he had to face the consequences of crossing a line.
He hadn’t rationalised his actions at the time; he’d simply allowed himself to fall into the moment and lose himself. The urge to kiss her had snuck up on him, seemingly out of nowhere, and he hadn’t resisted temptation. Rational thinking had vanished, replaced by that giddy feeling of physically wantingsomeone. What followed had taken them both by surprise. Whether it had been the way his body had involuntarily jolted at the unexpectedness of how good it was. Or the way she’d responded with such enthusiasm that they’d both nearly ended up face down in the mud. Or simply that it had reminded him of what he’d been missing and longing for these past few months. Whatever the reason, the end result had been a bittersweet moment that had left him simultaneously craving more and wanting to run a mile.
Either way, he was dreading facing Kate this morning. He’d used the romance and ambience of last night’s event to satisfy his own needs, and that wasn’t fair. She was vulnerable and grieving, and trying to turn her life around. What she didn’t need was him jeopardising her recovery by abusing their friendship and overstepping the mark.
He couldn’t imagine she was feeling any better about the situation than he was. He’d put money on her being embarrassed, remorseful or worse – filled with unrealistic expectations about what the future might hold for them. He wasn’t up to dealing with any of those scenarios.
He tentatively knocked on the library door, almost hoping to find it empty and her gone. That would certainly let him off the hook. But the idea of never seeing her again caused a wave of panic to flood through him so acutely, that when she called out, ‘Come in!’ pure relief washed over him.
She was sitting at the desk, wearing her snowmen slippers and typing away on her laptop. The room was warm, thanks to the blazing fire, and there was an unusual sense of calm about the place. He was so used to seeing her flustered, grappling with the stepladders or arguing with the portraits, that it was quite a shock to see her looking relaxed. Her hair was loosely braided and she was wearing a dark-green silky top he hadn’t seen before.
She glanced up and smiled. ‘Hi, Cal.’
So much for worrying about her emotional state; she seemed fine. He was the one in danger of making a fool of himself.
Other than a faint tint to her cheeks – no doubt due to the heat from the fire rather than any awkwardness – she didn’t look out of sorts. In fact, she looked completely composed, like it was just another regular day in the office. She wasn’t avoiding eye contact or seemingly embarrassed by his presence. And unlike him, she didn’t appear to be resisting the urge to rush over and throw her arms around him.
Any fears he might have had that he’d inadvertently ruined things between them appeared to be unfounded. And he wasn’t quite sure how he felt about that.
‘I wanted to check you were okay?’ he said, using the excuse of removing his jacket to avoid looking directly at her.
‘I’m fine,’ she said, sounding completely normal. ‘Everything okay with you?’
Throwing his jacket on the window seat, he dug his hands in his hoodie pockets. ‘Honestly? I’m not sure.’
She swivelled on the office chair to face him. ‘Anything I can help with?’
‘Maybe.’ He gave a brief shrug, chickening out of raising the topic of their kiss and opting for delaying tactics instead. ‘I’ve had a formal offer to buy the care home. I met with the company and their lawyers this morning, and they’ve given me the contracts to read through.’
Her eyes grew wide. ‘It’s really happening then?’ He couldn’t be certain, but he detected a note of disappointment in her voice. ‘That was fast, they must be keen.’
‘I guess so.’ He retrieved the papers from his jacket and walked over to her. ‘Would you take a look at the contracts for me and give me your legal opinion?’
‘Oh… okay.’ Her eyes drifted up to meet his. ‘It’s not my area of law, but I’ll take a look. I’d recommend you engage a solicitor who specialises in commercial law if you decide to go through with the sale, though.’
‘Fair enough.’ He handed her the contracts, noticing she was wearing little stud earrings that caught in the firelight.
