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I pick up the empty mugs and take them out to the kitchen. Everything’s switched off now, so I wash them up in the sink and put them on the side. Matt is still sitting there when I walk back into the café, so I reach out and take him by the hand.
‘Come on,’ I tell him. ‘You look dead on your feet, and I’m knackered too. Let’s get some rest. Where did you sleep last night?’
‘I booked myself into a Premier Inn. I did think about sleeping in the van, but it was bloody cold and I think I’m too used to my creature comforts now.’
‘Why didn’t you drive down? It’s only a couple of hours.’
‘I know, but I was so angry and ashamed. I needed time to think and calm down. Also, there were some things I needed to do before I left.’
‘Like what?’
‘I went to find Liam, the guy who gave me the scar. I turned up at his church first thing this morning and he happened to be there. We ended up having a long chat. He hadn’t had anything to do with what happened to Laura; he was still on the fringes of the gang then, but he told me her story wasn’t unusual. Young women get lured into prostitution by the promise of riches, but they’re unprepared for the reality of sex work. So, they start taking something every so often to numb the pain, and then they’re taking more, and then they’re doing more sex work to fund the drugs, and it all turns into a horrific, vicious circle. He helped me see that none of it was my fault, that there was nothing I could have done to save her. We put a lot of stuff to rest, actually. I apologised for attacking him and he apologised for cutting me. He even offered to pray with me, how bizarre is that?’
‘What did you do?’
‘I let him. It helped, in a funny way.’
‘Are you going to keep in touch?’
‘No. He suggested it, but I explained that I needed to close the door completely on that part of my life. I think he was a bit disappointed, actually, but he said he understood. Anyway, after that I went and bought some flowers to put on Laura’s grave. I sat there for a long time, just chatting to her. I told her about the café, and you, and Mum. She didn’t answer, obviously, but it was peaceful. And then I’ve spent most of the journey home rehearsing what I was going to say to you when I got here.’
‘You could have fooled me!’ I laugh.
‘Yeah, well. None of the scenarios in my head prepared me for how hurt and angry you looked when I walked into that kitchen.’
* * *
The flat is empty when we get up there. Katie and Bronwyn have obviously decided to make themselves scarce for the evening. I kick off my shoes and lie down on the bed, fully clothed. I have no idea what Matt does, because I’m fast asleep the moment my head hits the pillow.
When I wake up, I’m alone in my room, and I wonder whether the events of this afternoon have all been an illusion. The dent on the other side of the bed indicates otherwise, but Matt is nowhere to be seen. I can’t help being reminded of the last time this happened, and I feel a sense of dread as I open the bedroom door and poke my head out.
Matt isn’t in the living room either, but I can hear movement in the kitchen, and something smells delicious. Katie and Bronwyn must be back so maybe he’s talking to them. I wander towards the kitchen but stop in the doorway. Matt is concentrating on what he’s doing, so hasn’t noticed me. He’s obviously had a shower and changed, because he looks much better than he did when he arrived. I stand and watch for a while, enjoying the sight of his torso moving under the tight T-shirt he’s wearing now. When we were sitting in the café earlier, I’d made myself promise not to jump straight back into bed with him, but my resolve is weakening fast as I watch him at work. I clear my throat and he looks up. He may have a broken nose and a scar across his cheek, but he’s the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.
‘What are you cooking?’ I ask.
‘I hope you don’t mind, I found some chicken breasts in the fridge, so I thought I’d stuff them and cook them in the oven. They should be ready in twenty minutes or so, and I’m just knocking up a salad to go with them.’
‘Twenty minutes?’
‘Yes, why?’
I move across to where he’s standing, lift up his T-shirt and start kissing his chest. ‘I can think of a much better way to spend twenty minutes than making salad,’ I murmur.
‘Hang on, let me turn the oven down. Twenty minutes isn’t nearly enough time for what I have in mind,’ he replies.
34
Matt’s been back for two weeks, and something is definitely up with him.
To begin with, I was just so glad to have him back that I didn’t notice anything. To be fair, I was also busy working out what to do for Ron and Agnes’s wedding reception. The reception itself went well, and they both looked really happy. In the end, we made a selection of sandwiches and cakes, which were well received if the empty trays were anything to go by. Ron’s son dropped off a case of Prosecco and some glasses the day before, so Katie and Bronwyn dressed up and passed those round for the speeches. Ron looked very smart in his dark-blue suit, and Agnes looked lovely in a simple, cream dress. Their honeymoon was fairly short, just a few nights away at a hotel near Margate, but they obviously had a nice time because Agnes told Penny afterwards that she’d been surprised and delighted by Ron’s ‘stamina’. Probably the less said about that, the better.
It was a few days after the reception when I first started to feel that I was being excluded from something. Everything seemed fine on the surface; Katie, Bronwyn, Matt and I have all been staying at the flat and getting on very well with each other. Matt has been a bit distracted, though, and he’s been spending a lot of time in the evenings chatting with Katie and Bronwyn and looking at things on Katie’s laptop. I asked if anything was wrong, but he just told me that everything was fine and changed the subject.
There’s definitely something going on, though, I’m sure of it. I’ve walked out into the café a few times lately to find boxes stacked behind the counter. When I asked about them, Penny apologised profusely and said that they were hers. I was therefore surprised when I saw Matt carrying some of them up to his flat the other day. Again, I asked about it, and he said he was just storing them for Penny for a few days. I don’t think he’s up to anything bad, but there are secrets and I’m not good with secrets. I’ve tried cornering Katie, but she just said that I’m imagining things and that I should trust him.
I’m still suspicious, but I don’t want to push too hard in case I jinx things. It’s lovely to have Matt in the kitchen with me again. Not only because it’s reduced my workload to a manageable level once more, but also because the kitchen is back to being a happy place. In some ways, it’s as if he’s never been away. We work around each other, our dance as perfectly choreographed as ever.
‘Have you given any more thought to what you want to do about your flat?’ I ask him.
