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CHAPTERONE
EMILY
18 years old
“Why don’t you ever listen to me?” I shout at my dad. I didn’t ever answer him back, but I’ve had enough of being told that my dreams were worthless and the only way I was going to succeed was to take over his business and carry on his good name. Why didn’t my dreams matter? I want to paint. My dream is to own a gallery one day, to be amazing at my own craft, not to be a snob that has someone drive me around everywhere and call me ma’am. Is it too much to ask?
“Your mother would’ve wanted what was best for you.” Dad fires at me in a low blow. Not quite believing what I’m hearing, my mouth drops open at the mention of my mum, breaking my heart simultaneously. My mum passed away when I was twelve, so for him to say that, hurt. I know that my mum would’ve wanted me to follow my heart. She was the one that always said, ‘don’t settle for anything less than you really want. Know your worth.’
As my heart races, my anger bubbles just beneath the surface, “Don’t throw Mum in my face. You can’t make me change my mind just because she’s not here to give her blessing, one way or another. That’s just cruel.”
His fist comes down on the desk in a loud thud as he bellows, “Grow up, Emily.” My body flinching at the tone of his voice, “You’re almost an adult now, so these silly hobbies need to take a back seat.”
My lips purse as I ball my fists tightly at my side, “No.” I stand firm and defy him. I have no intention of letting him kill my one true calling.
“Excuse me, I don’t think I heard you right?” He cocked his head to the side giving methatlook.
Wringing my hands together, I stand my ground. “I said no. I don’t think it’s fair that you’re trying to take something away from me that I love doing. How many people do you know that find their career without a diversion first?”
His mouth thins into an angry line and his eyes narrow, but I don't care, he can’t force me to do something I don’t want to do. “Emily…?” The warning in his voice makes me even more adamant. The door opens behind me. My skin prickles and the sudden falter in my posture has my shoulders sagging. Then my heart does that little fluttering thing it does every time Troy’s around. My dad has no idea I feel that way about him, and the less he knows the better. He’s become Dad’s right hand in the time he’s been working here. Troy is older than me, not by a lot but to my dad it would be huge. I shouldn’t feel the way I do about him, but I can’t help it. He’s nice to me when my dad isn’t, and I lust after him more than I should. To me, age isn’t a concern. Troy makes me feel special. That’s all I’m really bothered about. He said I should follow my dreams and I know he’s right. If Dad finds out though, he’ll get rid of Troy, and watch me like a hawk.
Troy and I get along so well. We talk all the time and when he’s finished playing mini-Mitch Lancaster, entrepreneur in training, he often comes to find me at the other end of the house, in my art room. It used to be a playroom when I was little. I have everything in there. Canvasses, paints, I’ve even hung some of my own paintings on the wall. It helps to keep my dream alive and inspires me.
Troy sidles up beside me giving me a small smile as he watches me discreetly. He makes me feel better, like an adult with my own hopes and desires. He treats me like I’m special. My heart skips with every bit of attention he lays on me and over the last couple of months we’ve gotten closer. He sneaks around to kiss me when my dad isn't around, I’m waiting to take it further; I’m more than ready for Troy to be my first. I don’t give a shit about my dad.
“If you don’t do as I ask,” my dad sharply interrupts my dreamy thoughts, “then you’ll have to stand on your own two feet and get a job to support yourself!”
My neck snaps sharply to the front and my teary gaze meets hardened eyes. I try to swallow past the lump that’s forming in my throat but it’s difficult, and tears well in my eyes. I can’t say anything else. I can’t find my voice. Short, sharp gasps fall from my lips while my temper builds further. Troy’s hand finds my back, the warmth of his hand eases me but it doesn’t quieten the noise inside of my head. Luckily, Dad can’t see as we’re standing so close. Troy’s hand falls from my back as I turn and march out of the door. “Emily!” My dad's voice booms after me and echoes through the hall as though he’s following me. When my feet can’t lead me away fast enough, I start running, right through to the other end of the house and into my room, the only room I feel any comfort in. Slamming the door in temper I turn the lock, shutting him and everything I hate about him, away. One good thing about my dad is he never comes after me. I’m not important enough to him, but strangely, I like it that way.
I sit with my back against the wall, drop my head to my raised knees and cry. I wish he’d listen to me, just once. Let me have my own voice. I am a Lancaster, after all.
When a sequence of knocks come on the door, I know it’s Troy. Scrambling up from the floor, I swipe my fingers across my face to dry my tears and unlock the door. He takes one look at me and wraps me in his arms. “I’m sorry, Em. I tried to get him to listen to me, but you know what your dad’s like.” My cheek rests on his chest as I nod, his arms circling my neck as his hand palms the back of my head for a moment, all while I let everything out. “If it means anything, I think your paintings are amazing, he just can’t see past wanting what’s best for you.”
I tilt my head back. “But this is best for me, Troy. I don’t want the business. I want to be my own person.” His thumbs wipe away the tears that are trailing down my cheeks. I’m so mesmerised by him, holding his caring gaze as he walks us backwards and kicks the door shut just in case my dad does come to look for me. Troy twists around to turns the lock before coming back to face me.
“You go to uni soon, maybe when he sees that you’re doing so well, he’ll change his mind.”
“Do you think he will? I mean, come on you’ve been here for almost a year, has he ever let up when we’ve butted heads before?”my arms tightening around his body.
Our gazes collide as he shakes his head in reply. The green of his eyes darken and instantly, his lips meet mine. It’s different from the other times we’ve kissed, there’s more heat, so much more passion and I know I’m ready. I’m ready to give myself to him.
I drag my lips from his and look into his darkened eyes, then breathe. “I want you to be my first, Troy.”
“Are you sure?” He pants, brushing my hair from my face. “I can wait as long as it takes until you’re ready.”
“I want this now.” I try to kiss him again, but he stops me, pulling back to stare into my eyes. “What about your dad?” He asks. I understand his concern, but right now, I don’t give a shit about my dad. I just want Troy.
Squaring my shoulders, I cock my head. “Do you want me or not? I don't care about my dad and the door’s locked. He doesn’t care about me anyway.”
I see him contemplating it, there’s a glint of excitement in his eyes, and he soon has his mind made up when he crashes his lips down on mine and he takes us to the floor. As his trouser-covered erection brushes my thigh, a jolt of excitement surges through my body and my leg’s part automatically for him. He slides his body between my legs like a well-fitting glove, it’s like he’s a part of me. “Are you sure about this?” He asks again, pushing my t-shirt up my body as his neck bends and his lips meet my skin. A sharp gasp falls from my dry lips as he kisses down my body. He quickly has my jeans unfastened and slides them over my bum, along with my knickers, pushing my knees up and leaving my feet to hang in the air as he stands and whips my jeans and underwear from my legs, and throws them to the floor behind him. With his trousers unfastened my legs drop down, a salacious smile crossing his face. Dropping to his knees, he leans back over me, dragging his finger down my body and over my mound. My body jolts, the tip of his finger is firm as he touches my clit, then the same offending finger slides inside of me. My back arches to give him more access. God, I’m soaking. My face burns with embarrassment and I want nothing more than to hide. My fingers grapple at the thread of the carpet, hoping to get some grip, but I can’t. As my eyes close, I hear his voice. It’s barely a whisper but in the quiet of the room it’s as if he’s shouting. “Look at me.” It’s a firm command I have no problem following, that is until our eyes meet. He looks so lovingly into my eyes. At least I think it’s love, but what do I know? Rearing up onto his knees, he takes his wallet from his back pocket, produces a foil packet then rips it open. “Wanna help?” I shake my head, shifting my gaze from his. “Jesus Em, I wish I had the time to do everything that I’ve wanted to do to you, but I don’t.” He exhales with a shake of his head. “You know I love you, right?”
I’m shocked. He’s never told me that, it’s only what my heart assumes. I don’t give it too much thought. I nod and watch closely as he swiftly rolls the condom down his shaft, positioning himself at my opening, pushes my legs further apart and slides a finger inside of me, thrusting it back and forth, working me up. He must love me, because he wouldn't do this with a teenager, I’m sure. But for me, I know I love him. I’ve told him so before, but he hadn’t said it back. Hearing those words now cemented it. I get lost in my own thoughts as he thumbs my clit, making small circular movements as I push down on his hand. He leans down and covers my lips with his, swallowing my cries as I let go.
Rising back up to his knees again, he smiles at me. I feel amazing, I just hope I feel the same after sex. With a sexy smile just for me, he moves back over me taking my hips in his hands and briefly kisses me as he concentrates on entering me, slowly pressing inside me until he’s almost in. “Take a deep breath.” He whispers, hesitating for a split second. I do exactly as I’m told, breathing in slowly through my nose as he pushes all the way in. I grit my teeth, bearing down so hard I think they’ll crack as I try to ignore the sharp sting. “God, you’re so fucking tight.” He grinds out as he pushes through my virginity, claiming it as his own.
My eyes squeeze shut, hoping to avoid showing the well of tears in my eyes and I bite on my lip as he carefully pushes in and out. I groan as I try to relax around him a little. “That’s it, baby.” His head dips and I feel his fingers deftly lifting my bra up and his lips latch onto my nipple. It instantly relaxes me, and as my body softens it gives him the green light to go faster. My belly tightens as I push against him, squeezing around him. I’m sore but that feeling fades into the background a little as I feel that now familiar sensation throbbing through my core. Not able to hide it any longer, I trail my fingers up his back and over his shirted shoulders. A muffled groan slips through his lips as he pushes harder, growing and stiffening further inside me. I didn’t know that was even possible. Grunting, he leans down and kisses me, swallowing my moans along with his own.The sensation tears through me as my body trembles through my orgasm. He holds me tight in his embrace, pressing his lips to mine again right up until the high begins to subside, leaving us panting and our breaths mingling.
He pulls out cautiously, not wanting to hurt me. I try to not look at his now softening erection, but I do and see blood on the condom. My eyes must’ve widened but Troy grins, tugs at the condom then pushes back and kneels, palming the side of my face and smoothing his thumb across my cheekbone. “It’s okay, it’s normal.” I nod and lean up, offering him my lips again. I can’t get enough of his kisses, they’re so gentle. When I move, I’m met with a different kind of sore. I ache but in a good way. My hips and legs are stiff, like I’ve run a marathon. “You really should take a bath.” He says against my lips as he breaks the kiss. I nod again and drop my head to my chest. With his fingers softly cradling my jaw, he lifts my chin again, “Hey, are you okay, angel?” I smile and nod. I love that he calls me that and as he fastens his trousers, I know I’ve made the right decision.
