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I arrive at work in no time. I’ve missed the main part of the rush hour traffic, but then I don’t have so far to come any more. I find my sunglasses in the glove compartment and slide them onto my nose, hiding the darkness of my eyes and taking the glare of the sun from my glassy eyes. I lock up the car and head inside. Kellie’s on the phone as I walk through. Lifting a hand to my best friend, I walk straight through to my office, shutting the door and hide away from the world.
When the quiet rap comes on my glass door, I raise my gaze slightly to see Kellie. I don't want her to see my face, she’ll know I’ve been crying right away, I can’t hide anything from her. The door opens and she comes in, sitting down opposite me and crossing one leg over the other. “I tried calling you last night. I also tried messaging you, but I didn't get anything back.” I keep my eyes focused on logging onto my computer. I’m not actually doing anything. My mind isn’t fixed on work today.
“My phone was in my bag.” I reply bluntly.
“Oh, okay. Only you worried me a little bit with that call. I was going to pop to the house or call Troy to make sure everything was okay,”
I'm so glad she didn’t.
“I'm fine.”
“Okay then. No probs.” She says more cheerily than usual and pushes her chair back as she stands. She leaves the room like the breath of fresh air that she is, staring at her back as she disappears into our little kitchenette. I look back at my screen and open my emails to check those for the day, when I hear the kettle boiling. A few minutes later I hear the spoon hitting the sides of the cups and she’s blowing back in here like the wind has carried her, but with two cups of coffee. She places mine in front of me. “Now, let’s talk.”
“I have nothing to say. I’m fine.”I answer her quietly. I really can’t do this again.
“Fine. Well, there's one tell-tale sign you’re not. Fine is not one of those words when you’re actually okay. Fine is a word you use when you’re pissed off. It’s when you can’t find any other shitty words to use and when you want people to just accept it – I’m not those people. So, how about you stop the bullshit and just tell me the truth, because from the looks of the black circles around your eyes that you’ve tried to hide from me, you are most certainly not okay.”
“You need to watch the gallery. I can’t be out there today.” I still don’t look at her, but it doesn’t matter because she’s already seen through me.
“Well, it’s a good job that we’re closed right now.”
“What!” That makes me snap my head up to her.
“Wow.” She obviously gets a good look at my face. “I’ve locked the door. The closed sign is on, you are going to tell me what’s happened because I haven’t seen you like this since…” she raises her head up to look at the ceiling as she thinks about the answer. “Oh yeah, uni. So that tells me there’s only one person that’s the cause of it.” Nibbling on the inside of my cheek I try to stave off the tears I didn’t think I had left. “There’s only one person on this earth that can upset you like that. So, let’s start at the beginning, yeah.”
With a heavy sigh I finally take my eyes from the screen, my body sags and I slump back into my chair. Sipping on my hot coffee just to delay the process a little bit, then I launch into everything that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours. How the little trip to the lawyer’s office was a little more than informative, then proceed to fill her in on all the juicy details about our argument. My hands wring in my lap the whole time I’m talking, and the sadness streams from me. I love him so much. It’s as if once I admitted it to myself, I broke the dam that was protecting my heart. And after having time away from him, even though it’s only been a night, I know that I can’t find it in myself to dislike him, never mind hate him. This time is so different to the last time. Once I’m done, I’m totally exhausted and Kellie, well she wanted it to work between us as much I did. But that’s what best friends do. They cheer you on and then pick up the pieces of your life when it all falls apart.
She wheels her chair around to me, her feet walking the chair like something out of a cartoon and stops right in front of me, clasping my hands.
“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.” She regards me sadly, before pulling me to her for a hug. “Can I ask you something?” I pull away and nod, wiping my eyes on my arm. “What’s hurt you the most? Your dad having nothing, Troy tricking you into living with him for the inheritance or the fact that your dad bought into this place without asking you first, which Troy now owns?”
“Was one question not enough, you just had to pile all that on me?” I shrug, my chest shuddering as I try to suck some air into my lungs.
“I’m sorry babe, but you have to tear things apart and look into each section before you can get any answers. This isn’t college or uni. You’re an adult now, you were engaged to be married, not some little fling. You have to look at all the angles.”
“Why are you so smart?” I frown, pushing my bottom lip out and sulking.
“Because I have an amazing friend who lets me use my brain sometimes.” We stare at each other for a breath.
“I don’t feel so amazing.” I sigh, and admit quietly, “I miss him.” Her hands tighten around mine. “And in answer to your question, yes I’m mad at my father, aren’t I always?” I cock my eyebrow and a sliver of smile appears on her lips. “I’m not sure Troy really tricked me; I mean it didn’t take me long to accept his offer did it. I think I’ve been waiting all this time for a chance of something, even the tiniest bit of something and it came along. He dangled a bit of string, and I’m the greedy bitch that yanked on the whole ball.” Taking my hands out of Kellie’s I wipe my eyes dry and huff. “For fuck’s sake. Why do I let him do this to me.”
“To be honest, he hasn’t done it this time. Your dad set him up for a fall. You’ve said yourself that he treated Troy like a son. Why the hell would he do what he’s done? And if it’s the gallery you’re more bothered about then remember, Troy is only named on it because yet again, your father dragged him in to it. Does it really matter?”
“Yes. Yes, it matters. When I told Dad about this place, he was so happy. I think he thought that finally his daughter was going to be a chip off the old block. You know usually the apple doesn’t fall from the tree, well you know yourself, this apple fell and rolled down the fucking hill. I don’t want to be like him. It was why I never wanted the business.” My gaze blurs again. I’m so sick of crying. Pressing my fingers into my eyes I push away the tears that are welling and inhale, calming myself as I let it out again.
“Em, you’re nothing like him, even I know that. You are on the opposite end of the scale to your dad, and I only met him a few times.”
Kellie came to lunch a few times. I wanted him to have a part in my life and Kellie has been such a big part of that. When I refused to go home for the holidays, she brought me to meet her parents, and her younger brother and sister. They welcomed me with open arms and after, Kellie’s parents would bring food and other essentials up and send them for me too. Even though I was paying my own way at uni, I had a part time job.I had to when dad cut me off.
Kellie is the sister I never had.
“I think you should talk to him. Calmly.”Kellie advises. She knows what me and Troy are like.
“I’m not sure I know how? Because no doubt, the bloody fool will say something to piss me off again.” My head shakes at his bumbling aptitude.
“But that’s Troy, and that’s why you love him so much. It’s because of his ability to say exactly what’s in his head before he filters it. I mean, take his proposal.” She smirks.
“I suppose.” I sigh again, she’s right though. If I cared about the things that fell from his lips, it would’ve been a non-starter.For such a ruthless businessman, he really is a softie when it comes to me.
