AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Adam steps up beside me, his hand resting on my lower back. "What angle is that exactly? I'm not sure even yoga can help with this, babe."
Growling deep in my throat, I bump him away from me with my hip. There's a solution that doesn't turn me into a weakling who has her boyfriends do everything for her. Maybe if I just slip them on and kick my leg up behind me, I could pull the backs up that way. It may work. You know, if I can actually kick my leg back that high. Going from a woman who did kickboxing in the gym almost weekly to this beached whale impersonation is absolutely killing me. I'm fucking helpless when I'm this big.
Shaking my head to clear the thoughts before they spiral deeper, I step forward and slip my shoes on. Resting my right hand against the wall, I kick my left leg up first. My hand just barely reaches the back of the shoe, but before I can pull it up, my right hip locks in place and cramps, sending sharp, shooting pain down my leg.
"Fuck!" I gasp, dropping my left leg and placing both hands against the wall. Adam grabs my hips, keeping me standing upright. "Ouch, that fucking hurt."
"What happened? Are you okay? Do we need to call the doctor?" Adam shoots questions at me in rapid succession, not giving me a moment to answer him in between. "Shit, I don't have my phone. Where's your phone?"
"It was just a hip cramp, Adam. I'm fine," I reassure him and turn around. Gesturing to my body then placing both hands on my stomach, I smile softly. "See? Me and my beach ball belly full of babies are fine."
Adam stares at me, a smile slowly spreading across his face. "That's an image," he says with a laugh. "It makes it sound like you eat babies. As if your belly is just full of all the babies you had for breakfast."
I throw my head back with a loud laugh, startling the babies I apparently ate. A few sharp kicks come from my belly, making me laugh even harder. Placing Adam's hands over the kicks, I smile at the way his face lights up. "Apparently the babies I ate aren't happy to be in there. They're kicking to try and get out."
Adam chuckles, kneeling down in front of my belly. "Not yet, little rockstars. You guys need to keep baking in there before you can come out. Can't have half baked babies running around."
"How are they running if they're half baked?" I question with raised eyebrows. "Which part didn't bake? 'Cause the legs apparently are fully baked in this situation. Over-baked even if they come out running."
Adam and I just stare at each other, a silent competition to see who breaks into laughter first. I can feel the laugh rumbling up, the picture of the weird toy that Sid had fromToy Storythat's just doll legs and crane on top comes to mind. Mutant crane babies are all I can think of thanks to him. Goddamn it, I'm both terrified and amused by this. Fucking hell, Adam.
I crack a full smile first, the laugh bubbling out comes out a second after Adam's guffaw. Throwing my hands in the air suddenly, I shout out my victory. "Winner!"
Adam groans with a big smile, laying his forehead gently against my stomach. "If either of you are anything like your mom, I'm never going to win again. Please take after one of your other dads," Adam jokingly begs the belly babies. "Please!"
"You're so dramatic, Twatwaffle." I shake my head with a laugh, gently shifting away from him. "Come on, we're already late. Hudson is going to be grumpy when we get to the bar and I'm putting all the blame on you."
Adam gets up off the ground, grabbing his own shoes and then gesturing at mine. "All the blame on me? You're the one being stubborn again. Just let me get your damn shoes on for you."
Grumbling obscenities under my breath, I glare at him, but stick my foot out like I'm goddamnCinderellaor something.
It's honestly impossible to try and explain to any of my guys why I'm being so stubborn about wanting to do these things for myself. It's hard, giving up your body to grow a human, let alone two humans. It feels a bit like losing all of my autonomy and my identity on top of it. Not being able to even dress myself just adds to the feelings of not beingmeanymore.
It's not like I didn't understand that things would change and I would most likely lose parts of myself to pregnancy and being a mom. I did, I just didn't understand how much it would affect me. I've worked so hard to be independent and strong, to fight back against the trauma of my past so I could never be a victim again. Being pregnant feels like undoing all the work I did. I'm vulnerable now, in a way I've never been before. Something as simple as not being able to put on my own socks or shoes is a glaring neon sign in my mind reminding me that I am defenseless right now.
My therapist has said these feelings are valid and completely expected from my past trauma. In just a few sessions, Mina has made me feel not only comfortable with her, but like I'm finally being fully heard and understood. My guys try their hardest, and in a lot of ways they do well with understanding me, but they don't always get why my mind makes certain connections. They see putting on my shoes for me or helping me pick something up off of the ground as loving gestures and can't see how that would make me feel weak.
"Do you have everything?" Adam asks, drawing me from my mind back to him. "You need to bring the new invoices back to Ashe, right?"
Grabbing my satchel with all my folders and my wallet, I tap it and nod. "Yes, I do. They're all in the bag. We're trying to finish all the interior in the next couple weeks so we can be ready to go by the time the furniture arrives. Otherwise we'll have to look into a storage unit until it's ready. We have a few places picked out if that's the case, but Ashe is optimistic that we won't need it. They've all been working so hard to get the place back on track after what Kevin did."
Adam's face turns stoney with the mention of Kevin. Rhys, Hudson, and him have all been trying their best to stay positive for me, but I can see the strain and tension whenever the thought of him comes up.
"Good. Okay, let's head out before Riggs gives us an angrywhere are youcall," Adam jokes, but unlike before the humour in his voice is flat.
Following him out to the truck, I climb up into the passenger seat and buckle myself in. Adam jumps in the driver's seat, his body tense after doing a walk around the house to check the security system and for any signs of my stalker.
Staring out the window, I try to find my happy mood again. It's been as fleeting as our moments of safety have been. It feels impossible to be happy when every day we're all watching over our shoulders with bated breath.
Kevin is tenacious and persistent in his obsessive stalking. The multiple late night phone calls that end up being nothing but breathing on my voicemail in the morning. The letters left on our doorstep that have all been sent directly to Detective Mercer without reading. I can't find it in me to even care what threats he's making anymore. The only power I have when it comes to his stalking is ignoring his attempts to engage with me.
The detective actually suggested doing this when I reported seeing him after my doctor's appointment. Paul did a drive through the area and when he didn't find any trace, I broke down again. Instead of false promises about finding him quickly, he gave me tips and advice to move forward. Part of what's driving Kevin is his desire to scare and intimidate me into submission. The calls go to voicemail since my phone goes into do not disturb mode outside of work hours. The notes and letters go to the detective without reading them. I still need to have someone with me when I go out, but this also keeps him from feeling confident enough to approach me or my car.
The one thing Paul warned me about incessantly is to be ready for escalation. By not giving in to the calls, notes, and other pushes for my attention, Kevin will most likely escalate to getting my attention. The last time it was to show off what he was capable of after I gave him all the attention he desired. This time around, by not supplying the attention, he may get desperate to gain it again. We've all been on high alert whenever we leave the house and have been cautious to get the new house ready without giving away the location of it. Once we move, we're all sure he's going to absolutely lose it. Our only hope is that no one gets hurt and that he makes a major mistake when he does.
The ride feels long in the silence of the truck. Adam frequently checks the rearview mirror, taking a different route than we did yesterday. Rhys has suggested we don't keep a regular schedule outside of the ones we can't control like Hudson's work hours. Even with that, Hudson leaves at different times and takes different routes, just to make things more difficult. We want to be as hard to follow and stalk as possible. Why make Kevin's obsession easier for him?
I'm not sure all of this misdirection on our part is actually going to do much. It feels redundant when we all have consistent places in our lives that we have to go to like our jobs, friends, and family. Still, I'm willing to do anything at this point to try and stop this. Any control we take back is a victory in my book.
