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"I suddenly felt off walking to the door. I think the idea of seeing the bar without any of you by my side got to me," I confess, closing my eyes tightly. "Hudson should be here as well. This all just feels wrong."
Adam curses and rubs the back of his neck. "Fuck, Lay. We didn't even think about that. We just wanted to see you smile. It's been so long since we've seen that beautiful, breath-taking smile of yours."
Another stupid tear rolls down my cheek before the floodgates open and I start sobbing on Rhys and Adam in a fucking parking lot. I'm so tired of crying. If I could remove my tear ducts, I would in a fucking heart beat after the last week of almost non-stop crying.
"I'm sorry," I sob, holding my hands over my face. "I'm so, so sorry."
"None of that, love. You have nothing to be sorry for," Rhys reassures me. "No one expects you not to be sad. You just gave birth a week ago and with Hudson still in a coma, it's a wonder you're doing as well as you are. Your smile will come when you're ready for it to. Until then, we'll dry your tears and hold you until you feel strong enough to stand on your own."
"What he said," Adam tacks on in typical Adam fashion.
Rhys groans and kicks his foot at him. The only thing missing at this moment is the reason we're having it in the first place. Hudson should be here, smacking Adam on the back of the head and stealing me away while grumbling about Adam stealing speeches and shit. Instead, he's laying in a hospital bed in a coma no one knows if he'll come out of.
I guess that's fucking life for you.
Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
Alayna
Thesurprisebirthdaypartywas a failure after my panic attack in the parking lot. I'm determined not to do the same for our babies' homecoming. I won't ruin this with my bullshit. They've had a shitty start to their life, I won't add on to it if I can help it.
I've spent countless hours watching them in the NICU. Cuddling them, singing to them, and trying desperately to find the maternal bond that comes so naturally to other women.
We have an hour until they'll be discharged and ready to come home with us. Rhys is spending time with Wyatt and feeding him his bottle while Adam is stuck finishing a few things up at the community center. He'll be here in about half an hour to actually help us pack the babies up in the car and get them home, but for now, he needs to get the schedules out to the counselors and make sure the supplies are ordered for the maintenance team.
So, while they're both preoccupied, I'm back in Hudson's room, standing beside his bed. I brush back the hair on the top of his head, watching his eyes and desperately waiting to see a beautiful flash of blue.
Nothing. Still nothing.
A nurse walks in, a big cart with supplies coming in behind her. "Oh! I'm sorry. I didn't realize anyone was in here."
Staring at her, I try to place her face. I've seen this nurse before, but I'm having the hardest time placing her. Glancing down at her name tag, I gasp out loud, drawing her attention back to me.
"That's okay," I say quickly, stepping to the side to let her get to his arm. "You probably don't remember me, but you were my nurse when I came in after a fainting spell. I just wanted to say thank you, Hannah. I'm glad Hudson has you as one of his nurses."
"Oh my god! I thought I recognized those pretty grey eyes of yours!" Hannah presses her hands over her chest and smiles. "This is one of the three men I went to grab when you woke up, isn't it?"
"It is," I answer quietly, running a hand along his leg.
"I'm sorry you're back in here," she comments, shaking her head. "It's never a good feeling when you see patients come back into the ER in my line of work. If you step back a bit more, I’ll get to work so you can spend more time with him."
Getting to work, she checks his vitals, takes a vial of blood for blood work, and writes it all down on his chart.
"His vitals are looking good. I can't say one way or another how this will play out,” Hannah murmurs quietly. “But if it was me, I wouldn’t lose hope that he’ll wake up and be okay.”
Hannah walks out of the room, leaving a weird sense of comfort behind. Knowing what Hudson’s sister meant to him, it’s hard to ignore the implication that the universe is telling me not to give up yet.
I move back up to the top of the bed, checking the clock to see it’s about time to head back to the NICU. Leaning down, I kiss Hudson on the cheek. The feeling of his skin has me pausing to linger just a little bit longer. It’s already been too long since I last felt him and I can’t seem to pull myself away.
“I love you, Hudson. I know you’re in there still, fighting to come back to us. It’s okay that the fight is taking longer, I know it’s hard to battle the demons inside of us.” I brush my nose against his cheek, longing to hear his voice, but knowing it’s improbable right now. “When you’re ready to wake up, I’ll be here waiting. We have to go take the twins home now, but your mom should be here very soon to sit with you while I’m gone with the babies. Stay strong, Hudson.”
Walking out of the room, I feel like I’m leaving a part of my heart behind. This time, however, it’s not as depressing. It’s more like I’m leaving my heart so it can heal and come back to me stronger than before.
I walk towards the NICU to find the other pieces of my heart. Rhys and Adam should be there with the two little bundles of joy we created together. Our family isn’t starting off on the best foot, that’s for sure. That doesn’t mean it will always be this way.
“Excuse me, Miss!” A voice calls out behind me. Turning to see a nurse in blue scrubs running up, I stop for him. “I’m so sorry. You dropped this just a little ways back. It fell out of your back pocket.”
