AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Amber had a smile on her face for me that morning, but was it real? I had so many things to talk to her about and ask her about, but now it was strained between us. That was probably the worst part of all. I didn't like that. I liked the closeness that we shared. I wanted it back.
“You're not going to stay mad at me forever, are you?”
She shrugged and told me that she wasn't sure. That was not at all the answer that I wanted. “What can I do to make it up to you?”
Amber shrugged again like it didn’t matter what I did. She would barely look at me and it felt like I was already losing her. I had just gotten her into my life and now I was going to push her right out.
I moved to kiss her before I left, and Amber allowed it. She kissed me back and stoked all the fires inside of me. I didn't know if she did that on purpose, but when she backed off, I was the one that was shaking.
“Have a good day at work, Frank. Go save some lives.”
I agreed that I would, but there was still an ill feeling in the air when I left. I wanted to make sure that Amber wasn't mad at me. I didn't know if I could deal with it. I had to say something because the watch was very important to me, but would I have said anything, if I had known it would cause problems? The answer was I probably wouldn't have.
“I'll see you later, Amber.”
“Yeah, see you, Frank.”
There was one question I had to ask myself, that I didn't know the answer to. Was she going to be there when I got back?
31
Amber
Ididn't know why I found it necessary to call Tommy, but I did. I wanted to make sure that everything was okay and by how upset Frank was about me going over there, I wanted to make sure that it was over now. I was still quite surprised at how aggressive Frank got about it. That wasn't the man that I thought he was. He was a doctor. He was supposed to save lives. He wasn't supposed to hurt people, but I could see that was his intent if he had gone to see Tommy, instead of me.
Tommy was not a happy camper when I called.
“What do you want, Amber?”
“I just wanted to make sure that you're OK. I know that seeing me again like that was probably not what you had in mind. I never meant to hurt you or anything, Tommy.”
“Well, thanks for that.”
He didn't mean it. He was mad at me, and I wondered if it was about the watch or if it was about something else.
“You know, Amber, I have been extra nice about this. But I think it's best that you don't call me anymore. You don't want to be with me, and it's just mean to keep calling.”
“So, you really don't want to be friends anymore? We have known each other a long time.”
This was a good thing, so why was I so bothered by it? Tommy had stolen the watch, but he was in the system like I was. We understood each other and the way Frank reacted, reminded me how different the two of us were. It was a fundamental difference that I didn’t know if we could surmount it or not. I always needed friends that I understood, even if they didn’t exactly follow what society deemed right.
“No, Amber, I don't. I don't want to be your friend. I've been in love with you for years, so the last thing I want is to just be your friend. I can't be your friend and you shouldn’t even ask that of me. You should know better.”
“You would rather us never see each other again?”
It bothered me that I had to give up friends that I'd had for a very long time, because of Frank. Maybe the truth was that we were too different. He was raised with parents who loved him, and I wasn't raised with any at all. Maybe there was a deficit in my morality that I didn't even notice. I knew that I didn’t see any of it as seriously as Frank made it out to be. It was just a watch, just a little thievery. It wasn't nothing that I hadn't done myself before.
Tommy hung up and I was left with a bad feeling. Alice wanted to skip school again and I was down with it, because honestly, I needed someone around. Alice wasn't the type that I could talk to, of course, she was only seven, but just being there was enough to take my mind off of other things. I would have to worry about Frank and Tommy later. For now, I just wanted to enjoy the day and try to forget about all of the messiness.
I figured Tommy would ruin things for me, but maybe it wasn’t his fault. Maybe it was mine, for wanting to live so outside of where I started.
* * *
Frank got home laterthat evening, later than usual, and I figured that it was because we weren't getting along that well. He had no reason to come home early to see his daughter.
I was hoping that we would be able to talk, but he seemed to be in a bad mood and didn't want to. Not long after he got there, I went out to the pool house and started to get ready for bed. I wished that things were different. I wished that I could be in bed with him, sharing all the pleasures that were in store for me. But that wasn't meant to be, not when all of his moods and my mind were clashing against it so hard. Maybe I should just take the sign for what it was, we were done.
I'd been in the pool house for a little while when I heard someone knock at the door. Alice was probably already in bed now, so it had to be Frank.
