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That was the last thing that I wanted to hear, and I just basically ignored it. After everything that I had gone through to find her, my mind would not take no for an answer. I moved toward her again and this time she had nowhere to run. Her back was up against the wall literally and I could see that there was an alarm in her eyes. I wanted to tell her that everything was going to be fine. It's not like I was going to do anything. I just wanted answers. I didn't want her scared.
“Why are you acting like I would hurt you?”
“I don't think that at all.”
“Then why do you keep walking away from me? You're acting like you're afraid of me or something, like you don’t want me too close.”
Amber disagreed. “I'm not acting like that at all. I just don't want you close to me. I don't want you touching me.”
It was the way she said it that made me stop all advances. How had everything changed so quickly? One minute we were on our way to something great and the next minute, she didn't even want me to touch her. What had changed? That's what I kept asking myself. Something had obviously changed, and I wasn't aware of it.
“Why don't you want me touching you?”
She didn't answer me and then I asked her if it was because she knew that something would happen between us. Amber took offense to that, too much if I was honest.
“What do you think is going to happen?”
It was the smirk on her face, like there was no way possible that anything was going to go on, like I was crazy for even thinking that. I didn’t like it, the confidence she was trying to exude.
I wanted to prove to her that the connection that we had shared before not too long ago was still burning inside both of us. It was burning hot in me. I ignored all her weak attempts to make me think that she didn’t want me. I had come this far, I wasn’t going to stop now.
I kissed her and I pressed my body up against hers, pinning her against the wall. I didn't know what exactly I expected, but it wasn't the reaction and the words I got.
“What the hell was that? I literally just said I don’t want you touching me.”
Amber looked stricken and then she turned away, not meeting my eyes and making me wonder even more about what I had just felt. Or what I thought I had felt.
“Is that, is that what I think it is?”
I couldn't even say it out loud, not with enough power for her to hear. I had to say it again, just so I would be heard. I couldn't believe it. Surely I had to be wrong.
“What are you going on about, Frank?”
“Are you pregnant?”
41
Amber
Ipushed him back and told him to get his hands off of me. I had been very clear that I didn't want him to touch me, but of course Frank could not accept anything that I had to say. Instead, he had taken it on himself to try and push himself on me. He felt what I knew he would feel, and I immediately started to get worried. In seconds he knew exactly what was going on and his face completely changed.
He asked me again, this time louder and plain as day, in a way that made it impossible to deny the answer. He already knew the answer, but I guess he wanted to hear it from me.
“Please leave, Frank.”
“First, you're going to answer! Is that my baby?”
I looked away. “You know that I was with someone else.”
“Tommy.”
He said it like the very words coming off of his lips were poisoned and tasted horrible. His face was all screwed up and I couldn't for the life of me not find it secretly amusing.
“Honestly I'm not sure. I used condoms with Tommy, but that doesn't mean that something couldn't have happened.”
“So, you don't know?”
“That's what I just said. I don't know.”
