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“What?!”
She was several months along, and she definitely should have gone to see a doctor. I asked her why she hadn’t, and she said something about how her last place she worked didn’t have insurance and the place she was currently at didn’t either.
“So, you haven't gone to the doctor because you can't afford to?”
“Yeah, Frank, in the real world, we can't just buy whatever we want. Besides, my last run-in with a doctor wasn’t the best.”
“My baby needs to be seen. There is a lot that can go wrong, and some things need to be caught in the beginning. I have to insist that you take the baby to the doctor. I could look at you if you want. As you know I'm not an obstetrician, but I do know a thing or two.”
Amber shook her head vigorously and she backed up. I actually got up to convince her, but it wasn’t going to happen considering the way she was looking at me.
“Come on, Amber, you need to be looked at. I can do it for you if you want.”
“No way that you're getting your hands on me, Frank. I don't care what you say. It's not happening.”
I chuckled because I got it now. I was reading this all wrong.
She didn't want me to touch her because she was afraid that she would come back into my arms and start feeling things for me again. I wanted to grab her and force her like I had before, but she was carrying my baby now and it was a different situation. We would have to wait, to let her see how much I had missed her.
“Fine, Amber, you don’t have to let me touch you, but I’m not going anywhere until you come back with me. I will send for Alice and we can all be here, if that’s what you want. I can’t go on without you, Amber, neither one of us can. Please, come back.”
Amber said that she couldn’t. She wouldn’t say why, just that she couldn’t. I didn’t know what I wanted her to say, but she was right to think that I wasn’t going to take no for an answer. I wanted something more and she was the only way that we were going to get it.
“Frank, you can’t just do this.”
“Do what, love you and want you back?”
She sighed. “I don’t know if I can be with you again.”
“Why? Was it not good between us?”
“It was, but then it was really bad. You’re like a rollercoaster, highs and lows and I need to get off. We barely know each other, Frank. Isn’t that reason enough?”
I disagreed. I knew her well. She was the woman that I loved.
“I know that you love me, and you are so afraid to let me touch you because you will fall back into my arms, where you belong. You love my daughter. You let her tease your hair up until it takes an hour to brush out. You make us dinner to bring us together as a family. I don’t have to know your past to know that you are a good person, Amber. You are perfect for me and Alice.”
I moved toward her, wanting to get my hands on her, so that I could do the very thing that she was afraid of. It was what both of us wanted, I knew it. I worried that she would shut me down like she had before. That wasn’t to be though. Amber’s fears were valid and as soon as I got my arms around her, my lips on hers, she finally melted. She was mine now and I was never going to let her go.
43
Amber
As soon as I felt his lips on mine, this time around I knew that I wasn’t going to be able to deny it any longer. He was right. I was afraid to let him touch me, and that wasn’t because I didn’t know what would happen, but because I did. I thought about Frank way too much and his kiss was just as demanding and insistent as he was. It took me by surprise, not the touch, but the desire inside of me roaring to life.
I melted against him, and Frank must have taken that as a good sign. He didn’t let up, his hands all over me, his body pressing the parts that he wasn’t touching. Being with Frank was always such an overwhelming situation. I was shaking inside, shaking because of how badly I needed him. I didn’t know how badly until now, now that he was here. It was all I ever wanted, him to say he loved me, to want the baby, to want me…
“Where is the bedroom?”
I wasn’t really paying attention, my ears not able to pick anything up beyond the blood pumping there.
“What?”
“The bedroom, Amber? Where is your bedroom? I need you and I would rather have a bed, though this table looks about the right height.”
Like always, his naughty words had their desired effect. I was shaking in anticipation and I’m pretty sure that it wasn’t just because his hands were on mine. I knew what was going to happen, where it would lead, and my body needed it.
He picked me up before I could tell him, and I giggled. How long had it been since I felt light enough to laugh out loud? It was a strange sound it had been so long, and it made me realize how dangerous the man was. He could make me soar, or make me crash, all within his whims. I knew that I had to tread softly, though another kiss from him made me realize that it was impossible to do.
