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He got close and told me that I loved him and wanted to kiss him. I refused those sentiments, but then he just showed me how he was right, and I was wrong. It was bad enough that he had control over me even now, my body immediately remembering him and wanting more. It was worse yet, that he was throwing it back in my face. I wished that I could deny it all, but we both knew that he was right.
When he pulled back, Frank had such a satisfied look on his face. He’d won. I was unsteady on my feet and Frank was smiling so damn smugly. How badly I wished that I could push him back and tell him that I didn’t want him.
“For old time’s sake, Amber, let’s talk for a little while. It’s one of the main things that I miss about you living with us. I miss our talks late in the night.”
I shivered. He wasn’t talking about talking and my memory was making more out of it than I should.
42
Frank
Amber didn't want me to have a drink with her. If I read her face right, the last thing she wanted was to be around me at all. I could see it in her eyes, the strain and the defensive way that she kept covering up her stomach. It was a lot to digest. I mean, a lot.
I hadn't really known what to expect. I figured that she could be with somebody else, that I might have to take her away from another man, hopefully not as crazy as the last, but I was more than willing to do it. Whatever I had to do, I was going to do what was necessary to get Amber back in my arms. That's what I had told myself, but now, seeing her in such a way, finally having her in front of me again, was more than I imagined. I just wanted to look at her for a few moments.
“You're staring, Frank.”
I was, I knew it, but I couldn't stop myself.
“It's just really good to see you, Amber. I didn't know if I ever would again.”
Amber poured me a drink and then got herself some seltzer water. I hadn't even thought about it when I said something about a drink. Now I felt awkward with it in my hand, knowing that she probably needed one just as badly if not worse and was unable to.
I wanted this tension to go away. I remembered how I got rid of our tension last time and I desperately wanted that option again. I could have already had her calmed and at least listening to me right now. I had that much faith in my skills and the physical drive that we had for each other. She felt it too. I knew she did.
“So, you wanted a drink and now you have one. You can go ahead and drink it and leave. Like I said before, we really don't have anything to say to each other.”
“And what about my baby?”
“I don’t even know if it's yours yet.”
“I already told you it's mine.”
Amber sighed and I knew that I was being tenuous at best. I just couldn't help it though. There was no world where the two of us weren't together, especially now that she had my baby growing inside of her. There was no way that I could let her go.
“Seriously, Amber, why do we have to play these games? Let's go talk about this in the bedroom. We always did better with more physical communication.”
“Yeah, because we would just pretend like there was nothing wrong.”
I told her that I was willing to do just that. In my mind, she was already supposed to be in my arms. She was supposed to be telling me how much she missed me and how she never wanted us to be apart again. I knew it sounded cheesy, but that was literally how it played out in my head. I truly wished that reality was just as good as my fantasy. It certainly wasn't though.
She sighed and looked at the clock. I wanted to ask her what it was that she was waiting for, it was obvious something was planned. Amber said that she wasn't waiting for anything.
“Why do you keep looking at the clock then?”
“Because, if I don't get to bed soon, I'm not going to get any sleep for work tomorrow.”
“Work?”
She looked at me funny “Yeah, work. How else do you think I pay bills?”
I looked around the place where she was staying, and I figured that whatever it was she was doing, did not pay her enough. She wasn't an extravagant person, and unlike Tommy who had already burned through a half a million, Amber had certainly not gotten a dime of it. I didn't know why, but it really upset me to know that she was working some crazy job, just to afford the squalor that she was living in.
Soon my child was to be born, and I didn't want the baby to be born into this place. Amber and her baby should be at home with me and Alice, the people who loved her. I knew that Amber wouldn't listen to that idea at first. She would probably just get defensive and take it as a shot at her. It wasn't though. I had been around Amber enough to know that she was a hard worker and had an unbreakable spirit. It was one of the many things that I loved about her.
“Is the doctor okay with you working?”
She shrugged. “I don't really know what he wants me to do. I haven't actually gone to see one yet.”
