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I couldn’t believe that, and I told him so.
“She is a sweet kid. Don’t listen to them.”
“I feel the same way, but she can be a handful.”
I shrugged. I didn’t see it, but then again, I saw some pretty wild kids in foster care. They all were missing something, namely a parent and acted out. If her mom was gone like I thought, then it would make a lot more sense.
“She can, but she is fine, just working stuff out. Alice is a great kid. You really shouldn’t worry about it.”
He laughed and asked if I was looking for a job, half-jokingly. I really wasn’t sure if he was being for real or not. I liked to think that he was, but maybe not. Maybe this was all just one big game to him.
“I am, but I don’t think that I am going to be ready to chase after her for a while.”
“What if you were here, and she came in like before? I would even send her in with a pudding of her own, so she wouldn’t keep taking yours.”
I told him that I didn’t mind that, but then reminded him that I was leaving the hospital the next day. It was already settled, and it was set in stone as far as I knew. When he said that he could fix it, I honestly didn’t believe him, but I should have. Dr. Collins was a man of his word. He had saved me already once before. Was he going to save me again?
“This will work. You stay here and get proper care, decent food, and companionship.”
It sounded like a sweet deal, and I said as much. He smiled, like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. I knew that it had on mine too. I needed a place to stay, and it would be better if I wasn’t alone for it all. I told him that he had a deal, if he could work it out. Dr. Collins said he was going to make it happen, and I trusted that he would. I honestly couldn’t remember the last time that I actually trusted someone.
Frank
One Month Later
It had been decided that Amber would move into my pool house once she was discharged from the hospital. She was just too well to stay there any longer and while I was grateful for all the time we’d had together; I was nervous about what came next.
Alice adored Amber and wanted her as a nanny. It had never been this peaceful before, or at least not in a long time. Alice was acting more like herself, but I didn’t know how long it would last. It felt like as soon as Amber became her nanny officially, there were going to be problems. I didn’t want Amber getting pushed away because of my own selfish reasons. I liked her, wanted to be around her, because the more I got to know her, the more of a draw she had to me. It was bad, almost to the point that I couldn’t breathe or think around her.
I was preparing the pool house for her and trying to decide if all of this anxiety was a good thing or not. It didn’t feel like it, not really. I wasn’t used to being worked up over such things and I couldn’t say that I liked it all that well. I didn’t like feeling off-kilter, and Amber definitely made me feel that way. She’d only been in my life for not even a couple of months, and I was afraid to lose her. That wasn’t a good way to be, especially knowing that she wasn’t even trying to flirt with me most of the time. It was me that wanted to say and do naughty things. Amber held herself above it all and it drove me crazy. I didn’t want her to be above it all. I wanted her to wonder and question like me.
Alice helped with the final touches, and I asked her again if she was sure about it. We hadn’t had a live-in nanny, not for a while, and I didn’t know how it would work. I worried that Alice was going to change her mind, but she told me that she hadn’t. She was looking forward to it and I had to agree, I was too.
“Do you think she will let me come out here?”
I told her that I was sure she would. “But you have to give her some privacy too, Alice. We all need it.”
Alice agreed, though I doubted that she really knew what that meant. Alice was already visiting her in a hospital bed, I think that would have qualified. She just didn’t see it though, and I hoped she was right. I wanted this to work, maybe a bit too much.
We finished up and then waited for Amber to come in. She said she loved it, but in comparison to where she had been staying, it was certainly a step up. I wanted her to be happy here, to stay for a while, and that was only going to happen if I could keep it cool. This had to stay professional, no matter how badly I wanted it to be more.
* * *
Amber’sfirst night in the pool house and she was already getting my undivided attention. I looked outside and saw that she wasn’t wearing regular clothes, but a bathing suit. It was a modest one piece, but it didn’t cover up much, and I already knew what was going on underneath it. She was too damn hot for her own good, not even acting like she knew it. She was coy, but not in a way that was mastered. It was just how she was, modest, coy, and maybe even innocent to some degree.
I watched her swim laps for a while. She was just as graceful out of the water, but in the water, Amber really seemed to hit her stride. By the time she was out, I was uncomfortable watching her any longer. It was torturous at best, and I was unhappy with it all. I needed her and that feeling was doing nothing to help me, nothing at all.
There was a part of me that wanted to go out there. I’d seen the way she looked at me and my body. I knew that a shirtless me would have a better chance of making things interesting. Though, it could make it awkward as well and that wasn’t necessarily something that I wanted to do. I wanted things to stay the way they were. It was nice. She was the nanny. I needed someone to watch my daughter who Alice actually liked, far more than I needed someone to entertain me. I could find that anywhere.
I left the window and didn’t even see her get all the way out of the water. I anticipated it, wanted to see it so badly, but I also knew that it would do nothing but cause complications. I already wanted her. I didn’t need any more of a reason to desire her more. I was already to my limit, ready to burst.
Lying in bed, I knew that I wasn’t going to find much in the way of sleep. I wasn’t much of a sleeper as it was, a few hours a night at most, but I didn’t get any. I might have dozed off, but that left only a few minutes before my alarm went off and I had to start another day. Maybe the nanny living on the property wasn’t such a great idea. All it was doing for me right now was guaranteeing that I was going to be dragging ass all day. How long could a person go without sleep? I think I was soon going to be able to answer that question.
9
Amber
The pool house that I was offered as part of my compensation for taking care of Alice was nice, really nice. It was probably one of the poshest places I had ever stayed. The house that Frank lived in was huge, and I was able to get myself lost twice the first day.
