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I turned to him and said I couldn't believe that my brother had us all coming together. It was strange in some ways. We never were all together, and certainly not since I’d been back. It felt almost like Lester had something up his sleeve, but I really didn’t have any idea what.
“Why would you say that? Your brother is trying to add you in, so that you feel comfortable sooner. He actually cares that you stay. I think we all want you to stay, Beatrice. Your brother isn’t any different. Lester has missed you, even if he never said it out loud.”
“That is sweet of him to try and you to defend him. You know though, that we’ve never gotten along that well. I was hoping now that we're adults, that it would be different, but I think nothing changes when it comes to your siblings, no matter how old you get. I just hope that tonight doesn’t turn out to be a complete nightmare.”
Jeff said that he was nervous about the meeting as well.
“Why? We're just getting a couple of drinks, right? Nothing to worry about.” I paused for a moment and wondered out loud. “Do you not want me to come with?” Why was I so terrified of the answer?
Jeff shook his head that it wasn’t that. When I asked him why he didn't want me coming, he just kind of shrugged his shoulders and said that it was going to be hard with all of us together. I tended to agree with him.
“It won't be that hard, just keep your hands and your eyes to yourself. Does that sound so hard?”
He said that it did and the way he said it with such feeling and heat, I couldn't help but laugh. “Then why didn't you talk him out of it?”
“Because I thought it would be okay. I thought that I could hold it all in and pretend like everything was all good.”
“What has changed?” I asked.
Jeff’s cheeks turned red. He was actually blushing, and I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He looked quite handsome then, showing off his nerve. “Probably seeing you in a bra coming down the stairs did it for me. I was good until that.”
I waved him off, even as I trembled inside with the glint in his eyes. I told him that it was no big deal.
“It is when I feel like I do about you. You know that we've had this thing between us since high school.”
I didn't know why Jeff was going there so quickly in the evening. If he was trying to make it where my brother didn't find out about us, he was going about it the wrong way. We were supposed to be ignoring the fact that we were attracted to each other, not making it even worse.
“You had your chance back in the day. I'm not going to say that you have that chance anymore. It'll be fine, as long as we act normal. Lester won’t find out anything about it. He would never even think about us like that, unless we made him.”
“That doesn’t make me feel any better, your brother not seeing me capable of such things.”
There was nothing else to be said. I told Jeff that he just needed to chill out. There was no sense in making this more complicated than it had to be. Lester was better off left in the dark and that was exactly where I wanted to keep him. Jeff wanted the same thing, even if he wasn’t going about it in a way that made much sense.
Jeff looked at me once, his attention fully toward me in the truck before we got out. “Do you think we made a mistake back then?”
“About what?” I asked with reservation. The conversation was too deep for one that had to quickly be forgotten.
“You know, you and me.”
I tried to tell him that I didn't know how it was going to turn out, but he’d made the decision that made the most sense. What more could we do than that?
“Stop, Jeff. There is no me and you. We agreed a long time ago that there wasn't, so don't start all this. It's just going to make everything messier, and we are about to go in there with my brother.”
“What are we talking about?” Speaking of…
Lester walked up and neither one of us had heard him. He made me jump and I slapped him. “Don’t do that, Lester. You scared the shit out of me.” He really had too, always right around the corner, trying to catch me and Jeff in the act.
“Looks like you guys were in deep conversation. What did I miss?”
I got out of the truck and smiled his way. “You didn't miss anything, except your friend here drives like grandma.”
Lester just laughed. “He's probably driving safer for you. He drives like a maniac most of the time.”
I looked back to Jeff. “Is that so?”
He kind of shrugged and said that most girls didn’t like fast rides. I wasn't going to agree to such a sexist statement. Instead, I told myself that it was all going to be okay. I knew what I was signing up for when I agreed to come. Lester and his friend had always been a bit chauvinistic, and I was planning on ignoring them.
I walked a little bit ahead of them and went inside. I was pleasantly surprised at how busy it was. Some of the faces I knew quite well, other ones I did not. Either way it felt so different than going out in the city. It felt like everybody was just having a party or something.
