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I wanted to ask for a dance, but I knew that it wasn't going to do me any good. Jeff was going to be watched like a hawk from my brother all night, so I started looking around the room for someone else to dance with. It felt weird to do so, especially because the person that I wanted to dance with was right over there by my brother. But that's why I couldn't. My brother was here, and he would still have a conniption fit if he found out that the two of us had any kind of connection. He didn't want us to have a connection.
Not having long to think about it, a nice-looking guy named Dale walked up and asked me if I wanted to dance. I didn't recognize Dale and I told him that it sounded like a good idea. It didn't really, but the tension between Jeff and me was palpable, and I needed to do something. So, I said yes, and Dale swept me onto the dance floor, or the closest thing that Billy's Bar had to offer.
I was struck by how strong Dale felt. He was maybe 5 foot 10 or so and he had a grip on me that told me he never wanted to let me go. Naturally, that's how women were supposed to feel when they were being held by a man. It was just confusing because it was the wrong man making me feel that way.
Dale also had fast hands that kept going lower and lower, making me grab his hands several times and pull them back up to where they were supposed to be. Dale was getting handsy and I couldn't say that I liked it very much. I was the one that had agreed to dance, but I didn't agree to be fondled by him while we were dancing. That was not on the agenda whatsoever.
Several times I had to move his hands back up to my hips and I was feeling nothing but relief when the song finally stopped. It would have been rude to make a scene and pull myself away before then, but now that the song was over, I wanted to put space between the two of us. For whatever reason, this guy was taking way too many liberties and it made me want to stay away from him.
“Can I cut in?” I heard a voice behind me ask.
I breathed a sigh of relief. “Yes, please do.”
I got a look from Dale, but I didn't care. Anything to get away from him and his roaming hands. Jeff pulled me up against him tight and I looked up for a moment, trying to see if he was upset. I thought dancing with Jeff would be easier after Dale. I was wrong, of course.
“Thanks for that question.”
“No problem. Who is that guy?”
I told Jeff that I didn't know. “It's just some guy that wanted to dance. I didn't realize he wanted everything else as well. God, he wouldn’t keep his hands off of me. I wasn’t expecting that.”
“Come on, Beatrice. As beautiful as you are, I would imagine that you know what guys want from you quite well.”
While I agreed that I had some idea, it didn't mean that I wanted to think it was the only thing I was good for. It bothered me for him to say it that way and I wanted to pull back, but he told me not to because my brother was watching. “I had to come over here and tell him that I was saving you.”
“He thought I needed saving?” I asked, unaware that Lester was watching me so closely. I guess I should have known that he would be. I didn’t know what to think of that.
“Yeah, the guy that wouldn't keep his hands off you got his attention.”
I noted that his hands were low too, just like Dale’s. When I mentioned it, he just kind of chuckled, putting his hands back where they belonged. “I'm sorry about that. Bad form and old habits.”
That was one way to put it. I reminded him again that my brother was watching and according to him, we needed to pretend like nothing had ever happened between us. That was easier said than done when my body shook being next to him. It was hard to focus on much else, his large hands holding me so close, and I was supposed to pretend like this didn’t faze me at all. It did.
When the dance was over, I thanked him for his help and rescue. I retreated to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face. I didn’t know how I was going to make it through the night, not when I was already shaking inside and afraid that I was going to say or do something that I wasn’t supposed to. I caught my image in the mirror, soggy from the water, and told myself again that I had to pull it together.
“Get it together, Beatrice. No one can know how you truly feel.”
The words echoed in the bathroom as I left, knowing as soon as I said it, that I was already screwed.
10
Jeff
“What is going on with you and my sister?”
The question came out of the blue, while we were waiting for drinks at the bar. I asked him what he was talking about and we just kind of stared each other down for several minutes, waiting for the other to blink. I was thankful that I wasn’t the one.
“What are you talking about?”
“I don't know what, but there's something going on with you and Beatrice. I'm not stupid.”
He was right, of course. Something was simmering just underneath the surface between the two of us, but he didn't want to hear that, and I didn't want to tell him. It's not like I had any real idea if I was coming or going with her. It was off one moment and then we were back together, kissing and making future plans. Then back. I had no idea what was going on with Beatrice, so what could I say?
“She wanted to talk to me about your birthday coming up. I'm pretty sure she's planning a surprise party, and since she's not around a lot and you guys aren't as close as you used to be, her words not mine, she said that she wanted somebody who knew you a little better.”
I didn't even know where it came from, it just started spilling out of my mouth when his questions had landed me uncomfortable.
“Oh.” He laughed to himself. “Are you kidding me?”
