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I was let into where Jeff was, and it broke my heart to see him that way. He had tubes stuck in him in all directions and he was covered in bandages. I knew that it was selfish, but I did feel a moment of relief when I saw that his face wasn't bandaged up. He was found face down, so most of the burns were on the back of his body. I just thought it extra thankful that it had preserved his face. He was such a handsome man; it would have been a shame if he had lost his pretty face. I knew that I didn't care, not really. I liked his face, I liked looking at him, but it was the person inside that had made me fall for him so long ago.
It didn't seem fair that he would be hurt trying to help someone else, but firefighters knew that it was a possibility. Every call was danger just waiting to happen, and to come in and destroy their lives. I felt lucky, but at the same time I felt anger. Why did he have to suffer so?
A nurse came in and asked how I was doing. “I’m fine.”
I found it a little strange to be asked such a thing. I wasn't the one that was half burnt up lying in a hospital bed.
“If you need someone to talk to, there are grief counselors on the third floor. You don't have to go through this alone.”
I was shocked by her words and on edge from everything that had happened today. “Me? I'm not going through anything.” I laughed haughtily.
The nurse just smiled, like she was used to patients’ thorny family members. “He is going to need a lot of rehabilitation when he gets out and you're going to need all the support you can get.”
She figured that I was his wife because that was probably all that was allowed into ICU. I didn't want to be kicked out because there wasn't a piece of paper signed between us, so I kept my mouth shut and let her assume away.
“Jeff is going to have all the support he needs. I know that visiting time is over, I just needed to see him. I know the doctor said that he was okay, but I just needed to see it with my own two eyes.”
“Do you want to stay?”
I immediately said that I did, not even thinking about the fact that calls needed to be made to his own family. I was being selfish by not wanting to leave his side. The nurse brought me a pillow and blanket and said that I could sleep in the room with him. I was happy for that. I'm sure it would cause a lot of gossip for us at work, but I didn't care. If I could stay next to Jeff, I would take all the gossip they wanted to throw my way. It hadn't bothered me yet.
Besides, I doubted anyone could top what my brother had done.
22
Jeff
Iopened my eyes and the first thing I noticed was searing pain all through my back and body. It's like I had fallen asleep on my stomach, burning it all under the hot sun. I’d been sunburned a couple of times when I was younger, to the point that my skin peeled off in some spots, but this was something altogether different. It was a bad sunburn, but it was nothing like this. I didn't think I’d ever felt pain like this before. I was looking at a machine beeping with my heart rate when a nurse came in.
She was telling me to calm down and that she was going to give me something for the pain. That was probably the best thing I had heard in a very long time, and I thanked her. Whatever it was she gave me worked fast, because the burning sensation started to ease until it was numb and then I was downright exhausted again. Before I closed my eyes for another nap, I could have sworn I saw Beatrice’s wide eyes looking at me with fear. If I had known she was there, I would have acted differently, hid my pain better, or at least that's what I wanted to think.
When I came to again, the pain was still just as fresh, but I was able to grit my teeth and handle it a little bit better. Not for long though, just long enough to see that Beatrice wasn't in the room, and then I pushed the nurse button several times to get help. I wanted to know what was going on, but at the same time, I wanted the sweet bliss of sleep. That was the only time that my whole body didn't hurt. How could it be bad when it gave such relief?
This happened several more times before I woke up and the pain wasn't so excruciating. It was still there, an old friend that just wouldn't go away or take a hint. I wanted to be free from it, but I was also aware of time slipping through my fingers and I still did not know what had happened. When I finally got to talk to the doctor, me awake and him in the room at the same time, I was finally able to ask him the burning question that had been on my mind for however long I'd been here.
“So, doc, did the kid make it?”
The doctor was an older man in his sixties, round face, glasses, and he had a pensive look every time I’d seen him. He was the bearer of bad news, but after I asked about the boy, he seemed to have a different demeanor about him.
It was good news; the kid was safe, and I knew it before he even told me. For a doctor, he really didn't hide his emotions very well. The bad news bear look must have been for me. Everything hurt like hell, and I obviously had been burned up. I needed to know how bad. Burns could do far more damage than just to skin. I was still here; I was going to take that as a good sign.
Before I asked about my own injuries, I found out that the other three people had been saved, and two of them had overdosed and were given meds at the scene. Relief flooded through me, and I closed my eyes for a moment.
“Do you need something else for the pain?”
“No, I probably feel better than I have since I got here. You really put my mind at ease, doc. Thank you.”
“No problem. You're a hero. It’s a good day when I can save a good guy.”
His words made me uncomfortable. “Has anyone been here to see me?”
“You have had somebody here pretty much all day, every day. Your fellow firefighters have practically kept a vigil over you. I don't think I've ever seen anything like it in the years that I've worked here.”
That felt good and all, knowing that they were with me, but at the same time, I was thinking of someone. Why was I so afraid to ask? That answer came in the form of Lester coming through the door. He said something about hearing I was up, and he had a big grin on his face. The last time I saw him, I'd knocked him out. While I was glad that he seemed to have gotten over it, I didn't understand why. Lester usually didn't let things go so quickly.
“Man, it's good to see you awake. You had us scared for a little while there.” He sat down next to me, the same seat I swear I saw Beatrice in, and he asked me how I was feeling.
“I feel like I sunbathed in Hell for a little bit.”
