AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I flew off into the kitchen, but the search was over the moment I rounded the corner. My sweet, ornot so sweetas of late, little Avery was sitting in the middle of the living room with the contents of my purse scattered around him - including an entire pack of gum which he appeared to be chewing in his mouth all at once.
"Avery! No! What have I told you about taking Mommy’s things!?"
He tried to mumble a reply, but his mouth was too full of gum. As I got closer, I realized he had my phone in one hand and there was a voice coming out of it, making me cringe. I closed my eyes for a half-second and prayed he hadn’t called one of my clients again.
But before I could worry about what new way my four-year-old son had found to sabotage my career, I had to get the massive glob of gum out of his mouth before he choked.
I spread out my hand in front of him and barked, "Spit it out."
He flashed his usual mischievous grin and said his favorite word:No! Before tearing off around the house like a banshee. Five minutes later, I had finally wrestled him down, got the spit-covered gum out of his mouth and into the trash, and started scraping all of my belongings back into my purse as I put the phone to my ear. As long as it wasn’t a client or a bill collector, we were all good. Well… as good as wecouldbeunder the circumstances.
"Sorry to whoever this is! My son. Uh… Who is this?"
"You’re off the hook. It’s just me," Sophie replied. "I was calling to see how things were going with you and the big date night, and your little man picked up instead. I couldn’t understand a word he was saying, though."
"That’s because his mouth was full of… Ugh, you know what? Never-mind. Not important," I huffed as I scooped up my things and retreated back into the bedroom.
"So… Howisit going? What are you going to wear?"
I looked back at my daunting closet, then to Avery, who was jumping on the couch while screaming at the top of his lungs along to the theme song of his favorite obnoxious cartoon.
"It’s not. I’m not going," I decided as I deflated onto my bed.
"Oh yes you are," she barked with even more ferocity than I had when scolding Avery. "You haven’t been on a date in months. I don’t even want to know how long it’s been since you’ve had sex."
I winced at the word and the intense longing it conjured up inside. I did the math in my head, not indulging Sophie with the horror of the reality. Avery had just turned four three months ago, so that plus nine months meant… I hadn’t had sex in a very,verylong time. Too long.
"You never have fun anymore, Becca," Sophie added with a pitying whine. "I swear that’s why Avery gives you so much trouble. He can sense you’re stressed out, and it stresses him out too….which only makes him stress you out even more and it’s just one giant spiral that you have got to break free from. What do I always say? You can’t be a good mom if…"
"I’m not good to myself," I groaned, rolling my eyes. "Yes, I know what you always say."
I bit my tongue, trying hard not to resent Sophie. It was easy for her to preach about self-care when she had a loving partner who was a doting father to their baby, along with a nanny and tons of money in the bank from her high-profile job in finance. Not to mention their little girl, Charlie, hadn’t even hit her terrible twos yet. Much less the terrible threes or fours.
"But if I’m going to take some time to myself," I argued. "Wouldn’t a trip to the spa or a hot bath… or a nap do more for me than another crappy Tinder date?"
"No, because none of those things gets you laid."
I thought about my vibrator in the drawer of my nightstand and wanted to argue that it was more dependable than the gamble on a date with a complete stranger.
"And you don’t know the date will be crappy," she added.
"Oh, yes I do," I said with a bitter laugh. "With my track record? I’ve been on ten dates in the past three years and they’ve all sucked enough to make me want to swear off men and dating altogether. I think it’s time to face the facts."
"The only fact you’re facing is that you’re about to take a shower, wash Avery’s oatmeal out of your hair…"
I glanced in the mirror, hoping that was just another point I could prove her wrong on. But sure enough, there was a dried clump of his oatmeal from breakfast right there in a strand of the brown hair that fell along my chin.
"… find something to wear, and go on this damn date!"
The phone beeped, prompting me to check the screen while I tried to come up with my next rebuttal to Sophie. Thankfully, I didn’t have to.
"Well, I hate to break this to you… especially since you seem to be way more excited about this date than I am, but the sitter just texted and canceled. So… I win. No date. This is the universe’s way of agreeing with everything I’ve been saying."
"You’re kidding me!?" she shrieked.
"Welcome to my world," I groaned. "I have that exact same reaction to everything around me about a hundred times a day."
"Nope. I refuse to accept this. Just hold on a minute."
