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"He saved us," Javier spoke up, feeling the need to explain himself. "He would've lost his life if I hadn't turned him. Plus, he's also one of Del's fated mates. I did what I had to do."
"You don't need to explain yourself, Alpha Mendoza," I assured him. "As an alpha, you know the risks that come with turning a human, and I'm sure you took that into consideration. If he's also your mate's fated mate, then you did the right thing. And I'm sure you, young man, have been adjusting well to wolf life?"
"Yes, sir," Caleb answered. "I never held it against Javier. I'm actually thrilled to be a wolf shifter after spending many years hating them."
"You were also a wolf hunter."
"Yes, sir. Del and I were part of the same branch."
"We both made lots of mistakes from our time as hunters," Del said, powering down her weapon and putting it in her holster. "I think about it every day. How many lives I'd taken—men, women, children—all because of a lie my father told me about wolf shifters. How they were a disease that needed to be eradicated. How we were humanity's savior."
"You didn't know better," I said.
"Knowing that doesn't help me sleep at night. I think—" Del sucked in a breath, feeling the guilt she must've kept buried within her. "I think back to all those faces, all the shifters I killed. How they'll never come back because of me. I think of them as I try to take down the other branches across the United States. It may seem small, but it's the least I can do to honor them."
"It isn't small at all," Javier said, going to his mate to comfort her. "I told you already you don't have to torture yourself with this guilt you're feeling."
"I'm sure she knows that, but guilt is a shadow that follows us wherever we go. Even when we don't think about it, we know it's there," I explained.
"Do you feel guilty about anything?" Raph asked me.
The faces of my former pack and my mate comes back to me. "I do. I feel guilty every day for being the last of my pack to survive. Knowing that my mate, my brothers, and my home is gone, but somehow, I survived. That's something I carry with me." I look to all faces of the betas, to Javier and his group, knowing their lives were just starting. Knowing they may face greater hardships in the future. "If you all learn anything from the wisdom of this old man, commit this lesson to memory. Nothing is guaranteed in life. Everything you hold dear now could be taken away from you at the drop of a hat. Cherish the moments you have with your friends, your comrades, and your loved ones. Enjoy the little things in life that may seem silly, because you never know when you'll lose them, and all you have left are the memories of those little things. Make sure that whatever you do with your life, you do it without regrets. Take every chance that comes your way."
As I said the last words, I think about my feelings for Rosie. If anything happened to me in the war, the one regret I didn't want is not telling her how much she meant to me. How much I wanted her. How if we make it out of this alive, I'd gladly stand by her side, whether as a mate or a beta. Before it was time to fight, I would tell her how I felt, and hope my feelings would be reciprocated. Sabina was right, I should take the opportunity to find a new place to call home, and I think I found it.
24
ROSIE
It was Christmas Eve and everyone except for my mates and I were in the holiday spirit. All I could think about was Kai not being here to celebrate with us. How he already missed Thanksgiving, and now he was missing Christmas. It didn't feel right celebrating without him. As I held the present I picked out for my mates, I think about the one piece that would be unclaimed since he wasn't here. I hoped Kai was okay. If anything, I hope he wasn't being tortured and burned with silver like Joaquin was. I hated how my mates keep getting captured and suffer because of it. Now I'd be adding a new mate to the mix, and it made me all the more scared for Byron.
Despite the glum feeling, I decided to put on my brave face. It wasn’t easy, considering my Wolf was constantly worried for our missing mate. She seemed tamer than when Joaquin was captured, and I had to wonder if the Wolf Moon’s gift had anything to do about it. Normally my wolf would lose control after two weeks of being without my mate, but while she was worried for him, she wasn’t acting out of desperation to find him. Maybe the stronger my control over the Wolf Moon’s gift became, the better my wolf’s rational thinking became. I was thankful for it.
This would likely be the last chance we got to be together and enjoy ourselves before the war. I didn't want to spoil the mood with my fears. Besides, tonight was going to be the night I tell Byron how I felt and ask if he would be my fourth mate. The walk we had was beautiful, and we spent a lot more time with each other since then. One thing I quickly learned about the big man was his need to wait on me hand and foot. He was always making sure I was awake, making sure I had my coffee and my breakfast, checking to see if I needed anything, the list went on. It was sweet the first two days, but then it got annoying fast. But the highlight of it was Joaquin and Kao thinking Byron was trying to become the favorite, which resulted in them fighting to see which one I picked as the favorite.
If it wasn't obvious already, the boys knew that Byron would be the fourth, and Joaquin in particular, was very happy with the news. We didn't make it official yet, only casually dating and getting used to being together, but that was why I wanted Christmas Eve to be the night we make it official. It took me a while to get used to the idea that Byron was going to fuck me. He was going to add his bite mark to my shoulder where the other three marks decorated my skin. He was going to be mine. It was a giddy feeling, but it was unexpected as well.
"You okay?" Kao asked as he plopped down on the couch next to me. One of those old Claymation Christmas movies was playing on the TV, but I wasn't paying attention to it.
"Yeah," I muttered, my grip on the white jewelry box that sat on my lap tightened.
Kao looked down at it. "What's that?"
Oh shit, I spaced out. He wasn't supposed to see it yet. I moved it to my right side and out of Kao's view. "It's nothing."
"Oooh, is it a present?"
"Not telling."
"Can I see it?"
"Absolutely not!"
"Aww come on, show meee." Kao tried reaching over me to grab the box.
"Buzz off." I swatted his hand away and pulled the box away from his reach.
Kao pouted. "Aww, but I wanted to see it." His face lit up as he asked. "Wait, is it for me? Is it my Christmas present?"
