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I tense, and he notices right away.
“You… okay?” he questions through his staggered breaths.
I nod while he holds me pinned against the wall.
“Jeni, did I hurt you?” he asks, now sounding worried when he pulls out of me.
I shake my head in answer.
Only mentally.
Aiden grabs my shoulders, spinning me around.
My eyes can’t meet his—I have no idea what that was. I can’t help but feel like he was taking all his anger out on me.
“My God, Jeni. What’s wrong? You look like you’re going to cry.”
My emotions get the better of me as a single tear slides down my cheek.
Aiden’s brows furrow, and he holds his breath. “Jeni, what’s wrong? Tell me.” He pulls my face up, so I’m forced to look at him.
“What was that?” I whisper.
He shakes his head infinitesimally. “What do you mean?”
“What was that? We’ve never done that before. It felt… aggressive, Aiden.”
He frowns as he inhales sharply, then I see recognition on his face. He’s realized what just happened between us. “I don’t… I don’t know what came over me. I was thinking about my father and the baby… and… fuck! I did hurt you, didn’t I?” His eyes fill with instant regret as they glisten like the weight of this is hitting him. “You didn’t even orgasm, Jeni.” He swipes his fingers through his wet hair.
The thought of him shedding any tears is unbearable. “You didn’t hurt me. I was just shocked. When we have sex, all I ever feel from you is love, but this time, it felt like you were punishing me.”
“I can’t believe I did that. I never want you to feel anything but love from me, Jeni. I’m sorry. So, so, sorry.” I watch his rising panic as he starts to pace back and forth. Panic ripples through his features as his body shudders.
Maybe his father’s getting to him more than I realized. I pull him to me and hold him while he grips onto me tighter than I’ve ever felt from him before.
“Don’t leave me. I love you, Jeni. Too much for you to leave me. I won’t survive it,” he begs. The muffled sounds of his voice against my shoulder make me wince.
“Aiden, I’m not going to leave you. I would never leave you over you having a fully deserved meltdown. But it might be a good idea to take your anger out on a wall rather than me in the future?” I give him a huge smile.
He holds onto me tightly, almost too much. I move my hands to his head and angle him so he’s looking at me. His eyes are glassy with unshed tears. I lean in and kiss him softly. Slowly, he eases his grasp on me and lets me go.
I move him back so the water from the showerhead flows between us. “Are you all right now?” I ask cautiously.
He takes my hand in his, pulling me to him. “I can’t believe I was rough with you when I should’ve been gentle after everything you’ve been through. I wanted our first time after… to be loving. Not, this.”
“You didn’t hurt me. It was just a shock. That’s all,” I say, trying to reassure him, but his head is hanging low.
“Fuck! I don’t know what came over me. I’ve never done anything like that before.”
“We’ve had a rough night, the both of us. Hell, we’ve had a tough couple of weeks. I think it’s okay for us to lose our shit… just not at each other.”
He grazes my hand with his lips, and I know he’s back to normal.
We wash each other in the shower, and then he dries me. We make our way back to the bedroom and slide under the covers. Without saying a word, I move in and rest my head on his chest.
Aiden takes my hand and wraps his other one around me, holding me tightly.
Aiden’s playing with my hair as I open my eyes to the bright new day. “Morning, beautiful,” he whispers, then his lips graze my forehead.
