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She takes my hand without argument. I help her off the bed and guide her out of the bedroom. We take slow steps through the house. To the kitchen, then the living room before sliding the glass doors open and stepping outside.
Minutes pass as we wander through the yard barefoot. Shelly appears more relaxed than when we left the bed. Just as we turn to head back for the house, she stops. I take in her profile and see her brows knitted together.
Something’s wrong.
Is it time?
It can’t be time. The due date isn’t for a few more weeks. Early October. Right?
My brain scrambles back to all the doctor’s appointments, trying to recall the dozen different dates Dr. Webster told us. And then it hits. A couple months back, when the number of appointments increased and we visited every other week, then every week. At one of those appointments, Dr. Webster said the baby may come sooner. That it wasn’t abnormal. But as long as Shelly was in the last four weeks, it was safe.
Is that what this is? Shelly going into labor.
We hadn’t attended classes like most normal new parents. With all the mothers surrounding us—Elizabeth, Nicole, Cora, and Autumn—we’d been coached on all things birth and baby related. Shelly had found several Lamaze breathing videos online and opted to do those instead of in-person classes. They made her more comfortable and we did them on our schedule.
What did those videos say? For the life of me, I can’t seem to remember a damn thing about the breathing right now.
And what about the books I’d read? They talked about what happens when labor starts. But it also stated no two labors are alike. So what good is that information?
Damnit.
“Talk to me,” I tell Shelly. “Do you think it’s time?”
Her free hand goes to her belly and rubs circles. Over and over. Again and again. From the expression on her face, she doesn’t appear to be in pain. But maybe it isn’tpain. Maybe she is super uncomfortable. Neither of us knows what to expect with labor, least of all me.
“It just feels tight.” She looks up at me, unable to straighten to her full height. “Like my skin is being stretched.” Her brows pinch at the middle. “Shit.”
“What?”
“Need to pee. Now.”
Quickly as possible, I guide us inside and to the bathroom. I stand outside the open door while Shelly does her business. I do my best not to stare or appear overbearing, but I worry. Maybe we should hop in the car and drive to the hospital. I glance across the bedroom to the alarm clock and note the time: 3:55.
The doctor’s office doesn’t open for another three and a half hours.
Do we wait? Give it time and see if it passes?
I should make her something to drink. Something soothing. A mug of hot cocoa.
Shelly flushes the toilet and washes her hands. “God, it feels like I need to pee constantly, but barely anything came out.”
I take her hand and walk us toward the kitchen. “How about some tea or cocoa? Maybe it’ll settle whatever this is.” And while she drinks, I will search the internet and the stack of baby books for answers.
A smile tips up her lips as she curls into my side. “Cocoa would be great.”
With measured steps, Shelly paces the kitchen while I heat the oat milk. I scoop two spoonfuls of her favorite cocoa mix into her favorite mug and add the warmed milk.
Guiding us out of the kitchen, I park us on her old couch in our reading area. While she sips her cocoa, I Google what labor pains feel like. Thousands of results fill the screen and overwhelm me with all the possibilities.
Some articles indicate true labor starts when the water breaks. Others say labor begins when contractions start, that sometimes the water doesn’t break on its own. Either way, Shelly’s water hasn’t broken yet. So I move on to another article. This one talks about painful contractions and the need to push. Shelly hasn’t mentioned the desire to push, just the need to pee. Again, I move forward.
The next article has me blinking, again and again.
The article states some labor starts with a general pressure, low in the belly. The mother may feel like her skin is stretched to extremes—very tight. The need to use the bathroom often may be present, without much of a release. I continue reading down the page. The more I read, the more I am convinced it is time.
But the article also points out it may be false labor. That the baby may be shifting and moving into position for the big day. The article goes on and says to time how long the sensations last and how far apart they are.
Not wanting to alarm Shelly, I speak in mellow tones and relay what I just read. Surprisingly, she appears quite calm when I finish.
